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The confident shy guy.


acinom

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How can you be sure you are reading someone correctly.

I'm a very chatty person. I go out alot and when I say i'm shy people refuse to believe me. Yet I am excruciatingly shy. I was cripplingly shy as a child and have worked hard to extend my comofrt zones. I have done well but theres one frontier that alludes me, dating.

 

I know a guy who seems to have similar traits. i hope and thinkl he might be interested but Its not in me to ask him. I suspect he might be the same. What can I do aside from the unthinkable to indicate a green light.

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i hope and thinkl he might be interested but Its not in me to ask him.

 

That is just an excuse...

 

Besides that, you dont have to start out by asking him. Eye contact and a smile goes a long way to begin with. Take one step at a time.

 

Try to practice sending subtle signals.

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I have asked men out before and each time they rejected me.

I think men prefer to do the asking.

Either that or none of them like me.

I am shy so it took alot of courage to ask men out.An awfyl lot.

I did it, It was a failure and I wont be doing it again.

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I have asked men out before and each time they rejected me.

I think men prefer to do the asking.

Either that or none of them like me.

I am shy so it took alot of courage to ask men out.An awfyl lot.

I did it, It was a failure and I wont be doing it again.

 

I hear you. I will never do that again either. Burned too many times.

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I find that I'm a great one for trying and keep trying no matter how often I fail when it is only me that is involved. So If its learning a skill, passing a test, doing a job interview anything where I only have to depend on me I'm fine. Its when I have to depend on others I freak

I did email him today though after much panic and asked him if he wanted to join me for lunch.

This was a big deal because I don't even ask my female friends out, i just go when they ask me. I swear whatever vibe I give off the response was always no.

 

Anyway I asked him today because he had always asked me before and though I always accepted I never asked. It's just a friend thing. He just made a comment on Friday about how somwone always dragged him out for lunch and he appreciated that.

That made me think I might chance it, im always afraid people are too busy.

 

But anyway he rang me back we arranged a time and he was delighted and even paid. he asked me out to lunch tomorrow. Niow its not romantic but its a start.

As im shy im still freaking out.

In their presence im nervous and repelled by them. At a distance im attracted. Doesn't that sound stupid?

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It's funny how we learn as kids...we shake off failures and keep trying...learning until we get it right. Then when we become adults, failures make us not want to try again. Where did we go wrong?

 

It's just how human beings react. Cognitive learning. We touch a kettle and burn ourselves the first time. We learn that we cannot touch the kettle when it's hot. The next time, we don't touch the kettle when it's hot because we know it will burn us.

 

I suppose with human beings it is different. Humans give off the most unpredictable outcomes.

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I have asked men out before and each time they rejected me.

I think men prefer to do the asking.

Either that or none of them like me.

I am shy so it took alot of courage to ask men out.An awfyl lot.

I did it, It was a failure and I wont be doing it again.

I loathe asking girls out. Nothing quite so terrifying to me. I can talk to you all night, but I would NEVER be able to work up the courage to ask you out for something as easy as coffee.

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I asked him to lunch on Tuesday. It went well. Then he asked me to lunch on Wednesday. That went better. On Thursday I told him I was free and he met me for lunch again. I'm quite shy and I felt that I wasn't at my best today. Can you blow it by not being bubbly everday?

Three days of kunch is a severe strain on my shyness. Plus I don't know what his take on me is. Yesterday I saw him really looking into my eyes, you no that look where his eye flicks up and down as he looks in yours. Today was much more sedate. He did put his hand into the small of my back again but hes a touchy guy.

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That is just an excuse...

 

Besides that, you dont have to start out by asking him. Eye contact and a smile goes a long way to begin with. Take one step at a time.

 

Try to practice sending subtle signals.

 

If the guy is shy too, I would doubt that all the smiling and subtle eye contact in the world would stir him enough to get him to ask her out. I know that even of a woman literally threw herself at me and tried to be coy, I would not ask her out unless she tells me straight up that she likes me. Even worse, what if the guy can't pick up on subtle body language?

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After asking him out to lunch on tuesday hes wanted to have lunch with me all week. Then I caught him hovering around to meet me yesterday and then accidently came out of his office as I was passing. I think its going well but im not sure if he will ask me out. There is a fine line between being encouraging and being too available and what that is depends on how confident versus how shy he is. I'm not that good a mind reader.

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