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Possible STD's and new boyfriend


lonelyone09
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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I've been dating this new guy for about 2 months now and were getting pretty serious. We are exclusive and consider this the beginning of a serious relationship. We're really open with each other and I know he's been with 6 girls (he's 21, i'm 18 ) while i've been with 3 which is including him. We do not use condoms.

 

When we first started seeing each other he said he was clean and HAD to be because the military tests and doesnt allow them to participate if otherwise. not sure if this is true or if they test for ALL stds.

 

Me on the other hand have only had sex when in serious relatoinships, the first being a guy i dated through out my 4 years of high school. We ALWAYS used protection except for once which i was tested for STDs after because i found out he had cheated on me with several different girls. The second guy being a good friend i had known for several years. We usually only performed oral as it was the beginning of our relationship and only had penetrating sex once and it was unprotected. He moved and we stopped seeing each other. I also come to find out he is shady and might have slept around before me.

 

Now 2 months into seeing each other, my current said it burns when he pees. He joked around about 'razor blades' once while peeing but i took it as just that, a joke. He said it again the other day and now i'm worried.

 

I have NO symptoms and never have. I am going to get tested asap but i'm worried about what if i gave him an std that i didnt know i had. He REALLY cares about me and is very sweet to me but i'm worried he will think im dirty or disgusting if it turns out I have something. Or really now WE have something. Could symptoms turn up now or be returning for him thats something he had previously contracted or is it most definitely me that gave him something new?

 

I haven't mentioned to him that i'm worried or that im going to get tested, i dont believe he has any kinda of medical or health insurance so i'm kinda going to find out for the both of us. Would you dump your girl if you found out she had an STD? How should i tell him if it turns out that i do?

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The whole "im in the military and we are tested regularly so I am clean" line is a bunch of crock. While they are tested for HIV and stuff there are so many other things that they are not routinely checked for that could be passed on. I don't know how many times I have heard military members say this and people actually believe it.

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i dont believe he has any kinda of medical or health insurance so i'm kinda going to find out for the both of us.

 

He is military, he has military benefits (and that includes health insurance) he can see a doctor for free or alot cheaper than you can.

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Thanks for the replies and yes im definitely going to get tested asap. if it turns out im clean ill make sure he goes to a doctor to make sure he doesnt have a UTI or some other irritation.

 

and about healthcare to yellowcal: even for the reserves?

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The priority right now is for both of you to get tested, and for him to be treated. Are you trying to get pregnant (i realize you might be on the pill, but if you're not trying to get pregnant, and given the circumstances, using condoms might be a good idea).

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Just because he says he is clean doesn't mean he is. Maybe you gave him nothing and it was one of the other 6 women who gave him something. Two months of exclusivity is not long enough to halt the condom use. He could very well have slept with someone days before he actually met you and his health status would therefore be a big mystery. It is risky to go condomless unless you have been in a committed monogamous relationship for at least 6 months to a year and have been tested after that period of time. You can't just take his word for it that he is clean.

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Woah.

 

Sleeping with someone 'once' Or just having oral a 'few times' Doesnt stop you from getting something like HIV. Infact. One time Is enough, And dont believe what he tells you. Most STD's dont have any blatant symptoms. Especially Chlamydia. Get tested immediatley.

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i know that even one time could for sure cause an STD and that I couldnt necessarily trust his sexual background but it is what it is now.

 

Crazyaboutdogs said the symptoms he's having could be from a previous encounter but could it be possible that he's just getting the symptoms now suddenly or that their returning if he ignored them in the past? and not something that i just gave to him when we started seeing each other?

 

I also understand that my behavior has been risky.. I know I probably should have been more careful and not just taking their word for it.

Either way I am getting tested ive made the appt. and just want to get this over with and not point any fingers.

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First things first, stop beating yourself up and blaming yourself if he does have something because truth of the matter is you don't really know what is wrong with him at this point. Try not to worry yourself too much about it and get in to be tested.

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i know that even one time could for sure cause an STD and that I couldnt necessarily trust his sexual background but it is what it is now.

 

Crazyaboutdogs said the symptoms he's having could be from a previous encounter but could it be possible that he's just getting the symptoms now suddenly or that their returning if he ignored them in the past? and not something that i just gave to him when we started seeing each other?

 

I also understand that my behavior has been risky.. I know I probably should have been more careful and not just taking their word for it.

Either way I am getting tested ive made the appt. and just want to get this over with and not point any fingers.

 

You cant really know for sure if you've given him something if anything or its the other way around.

 

I would be worried he had given me something and It'd be hard not to feel accusatory. But then It could have been you.

 

I slept with someone unprotected too. And I had an STD test, I refuse to sleep with someone without a condom now. Even my long term bf until he has an STD test too. Even though he was virgin. I cant trust that 100% and he might have contracted AIDS at somepoint in his life from something other than sex.

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Thats also true thanks guys =/ he could just have a UTI and i'd be worried about nothing..

 

yikes i will definitely be safer in the future and go with both of us getting tested first next time. idk how i forgot that some things could sometimes go symptomless other than hpv and hiv i knew..

i suppose ill update after being tested

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