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He said he wanted to have sex w/ another girl


l0velife
When He Says He Wants Space | Begin...
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Well...my boyfriend and I of 3 years were talking today and asking goofy questions. So I thought to ask him if he would ever consider bringing someone else in the bedroom.. We had this discussion before and he said HELL NO, he wanted me to himself etc.

Well I asked him today and he said "if you would be okay with it yes I would"

 

Sooo I thought for a minute and asked if he wanted a guy or girl and he said girl.

He then started going into great detail about what would happen and he said he would want to have sex with the girl if I was okay with it.

 

Well I'm not okay with it and I REGRET asking him the question in the first place, but I figured he would say the same thing he always did.

 

I have NO interest in bringing another person in my bedroom and I don't know what to think about everything he is saying because he is saying A LOT.

I don't know if he is being a typical guy and saying what most men won't.

Or if this means I need to take a break to see if he needs to get "anything of out of his system"

Like threesomes or the want to sleep with other women, because I plan on getting married to this guy and if I don't fufill these fantasies of him then he will cheat and sneak around.

What should I think and what should I say?

Does him saying all of this mean something, does he want to be free?

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Don't ask any more questions you don't want the answer too. He's being honest with you and if it really bothers you, you need to talk with him about it. If you can't trust that he wants to only be with you, maybe you need to think about moving on. A lot of men have fantasies about threesomes, but wouldn't act on it because they cherish their relationships.

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Perhaps since this is not the first time you have brought it up he thinks that this is something YOU secretly want to do and therefore he is going along with the fantasy by describing what he would do with the other woman in the threesome YOU brought up. You can't fault him for this...YOU brought it up on more than one occasion. You set him up...you were testing him hoping he would say no again. You should never have asked the question.

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Most men at least think about having a three way with two women. And I would say almost all men at some point or another think about having sex with someone other then there wife/girlfriend/life partner. That doesn't mean they will cheat.

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i thought you two broke up? is this the WoW guy who puts the game before you? Have you worked through other relationship problems?

 

We did break up. But he completely stopped playing WoW. We don't have that problem anymore..thank God.

 

I guess I did ask the question before but only once a long time ago and I asked to hear him say the answer he said last time lol. I set myself for this answer...it just weirded me out.

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Perhaps since this is not the first time you have brought it up he thinks that this is something YOU secretly want to do and therefore he is going along with the fantasy by describing what he would do with the other woman in the threesome YOU brought up. You can't fault him for this...YOU brought it up on more than one occasion. You set him up...you were testing him hoping he would say no again. You should never have asked the question.

 

I agree with this response... I think theres a good chance he thinks you were hinting at something...

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I'd say the majority of men fantasize about 3somes... but only the minority act on them.

He's probably at a point where he feels really comfortable with you and he told you the truth this time. But this doesnt mean that he doesnt love you or he will go out and cheat on you.

 

how many times have you asked him about this?? because if you ask him alot he might get the impression that you want to, and he is answering to make you happy.

 

i would just cut that part out of my conversation in the future.

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Perhaps since this is not the first time you have brought it up he thinks that this is something YOU secretly want to do and therefore he is going along with the fantasy by describing what he would do with the other woman in the threesome YOU brought up. You can't fault him for this...YOU brought it up on more than one occasion. You set him up...you were testing him hoping he would say no again. You should never have asked the question.

 

Those are my thoughts exactly.

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is he being more considerate of you and sticking up for you around his friends now?

 

I agree with what CAD said. But I also know not to ask a question if I can't handle the answer.

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Everyone has secret fantasies that they'd probably never act on. If you can't handle the answer, you shouldn't have asked. Secondly, just because a threesome interests him doesn't mean he's going to want you to have one with him.

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i think it's a pretty common fantasy among men. and if you don't feel comfortable, then don't. i don't know how important it is for him to experience it or be with a woman who wants to do this too. i guess time will tell...

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is he being more considerate of you and sticking up for you around his friends now?

 

I agree with what CAD said. But I also know not to ask a question if I can't handle the answer.

 

&& yes he is being 347239047234 times more considerate. His roommate (the one that was the root of this problem) unded up having a huge crush on me. My boyfriend and him got in a huge fight when his roommate tried kicking me out of the apartment because I was staying there and it made his roommate uncomfortable. Anyways they are not friends anymore but my boyfriend and I have been doing great ever since I broke up with him over all of the immature drama.

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If I were you, I'd drop this and never bring it up again. You asked a question and got an honest answer--not the one you wanted, but honest nevertheless. If this is a trustworthy guy then you can believe him--he says he would only do this if you are comfortable with it. You aren't so he won't.

It sounds to me like you were testing him (maybe didn't even realize that is what you were doing). Don't do this...it isn't fair because when you get an answer that you don't like, it's natural to be a little miffed and it causes unnecessary worry.

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My boyfriend luckily said that if he ever wanted to try a threesome he'd never try it while in a relationship because we both agreed that all the possible jealousy issues and arguments resulting from it are just not worth it. He said it's not something he actively wants to try and could go through life never trying it just fine, he just said if he was single and the oppurtunity came up he may consider it. I would go mad seeing another girl touch my boyfriend sexually and a threesome with my boyfriend would feel more like I had to compete with this other girl.

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You need to go back to him and be honest, and tell him that you never want to do a threesome and you were just curious.

 

Then you ask him if he is OK with the idea that you'll never do one, and also ask him if he is OK with the idea of never having sex with any woman other than you.

 

In other words, find out whether this is just him responding to your question honestly that it would be OK with him, or whether it has a deeper meanng that he wants to experiment with sex with other people (i.e., too soon to settle down with you).

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