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For Guys who complain they are ugly........


Lowconfidence
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If you were born naturally good-looking, would you have the same values and attitudes towards women as you do looking ugly? Or would you become a womanizer/date and sleep with a lot of women because it's much easier?

 

From past experiences, my attitudes wouldn't be the same and probaby would have been a womanzier from all the attention and ego boosts at an early age.

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If you were born naturally good-looking, would you have the same values and attitudes towards women as you do looking ugly? Or would you become a womanizer/date and sleep with a lot of women because it's much easier?

 

From past experiences, my attitudes wouldn't be the same and probaby would have been a womanzier from all the attention and ego boosts at an early age.

 

Men go where the women are.

 

The good-looking ones are generally more assholish because they can get away with it -- i.e., because they'll get laid anyway.

 

The ugly ones have to be nice because it's all they have going for them.

 

EDIT: As far as I'm concerned (I consider myself average in the looks department), I like to think I'd still be who I am if I were better looking. But I know if I were Zac Effron or someone I'd probably be lining them up months in advance.

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I'm a woman, but have behaved differently around men at different times in my life as my confidence varied circumstantially. So yes, I think circumstances can influence behavior. Appearance is a circumstance also, as looks and attractiveness can vary due to age and what's desirable at any given time.

 

When I put on 15 pounds after some severe knee injuries, man, I wouldn't go anywhere near a guy I found very attractive because I felt embarrassed. So I can imagine if I had something about me that caused me to lose self esteem that it would most certainly affect who I was with.

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I am so glad that I had such an awkward stage in middle school and early high school. It forced me to become an interesting and intelligent person because I couldn't rely on my looks. I probably would have never met my amazing group of friends either.

 

Excellent statement and insight here.

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I am not sure. I have felt that I am not attractive to others and that has played a role in not having confidence but there's a bundle of other issues as well that would prevent me from ever being a womanizer, specifically religion\culture, and naturally being timid (I was timid before I ever thought about my looks).

 

Honestly, I think feeling bad about yourself is a downward spiral, and it's not necessarily the best looking people that are the most confident. So many things can impact how you view yourself, so it's a bit shallow to say if A was different I would B, you never know. All you have control over is your perception....but how I know much of a struggle it can be to think differently about yourself. It takes a lot of effort. I'm in the process myself.

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heres your problem.

 

Lowconfidence

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Join Date: Aug 2007

Location: Ontario

Gender: Male

Posts: 510

 

It doesnt matter what happened to you in your past, the fact is that you have control over your life now. Finding excuses such as im not good looking or i didnt get attention when i was younger are all just excuses.

 

Some people are bad looking, some average, some good. But know that unless your physically impaired or crippled there are things you can do to make yourself look better, but again it really doesnt matter.

 

If all the sudden you were given an immaculate body do you think youd be prepared to actually date these good looking women? HELL NO. It takes practice, and confidence, looks dont give you confidence, confidence gives you confidence, do some home work and figure what will make you happy, a very attractive body is not solution or what is needed.

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I am so glad that I had such an awkward stage in middle school and early high school. It forced me to become an interesting and intelligent person because I couldn't rely on my looks. I probably would have never met my amazing group of friends either.

 

I was about this say this and it sums it all up I think.

 

Enduring the worst to bring the best lol. I think that people who have endured more or experienced more difficulties in life have a more objective vieuw on the matter. And i don't only mean in men-women relations.

 

Thank god I was't born good looking Well I don't consider myself ugly but quiet average.

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I love this statement. I have often thought that, especially for women, being good looking/attarctiv/popular in high school was a detriment to one's adult life.

 

Agreed. I find a lot of those folks have entitlement issues and need a lot of external validation which can lead to hangups. Not everyone of course, but a lot of them. I was very attractive in high school I found out later in life, but also very unpopular. While it gave me self esteem issues that I carry to this day, I was able to develop who I was as a person because I wasn't in any cliques and had no one to please but myself.

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If you were born naturally good-looking, would you have the same values and attitudes towards women as you do looking ugly? Or would you become a womanizer/date and sleep with a lot of women because it's much easier?

 

From past experiences, my attitudes wouldn't be the same and probaby would have been a womanzier from all the attention and ego boosts at an early age.

 

No, my personality would still be the same. I'd still be bored with the types of women I'm bored with now.

 

My looks...my body...it's merely a vessel. Unfortunately, it is a vessel that can potentially severely limit your options. If I was attractive I would have never dealt with what I dealt with in high school and the insecurities that came with being viewed as the ugliest guy in my grade. If I was attractive, I'd still want something more than casual hookups and I wouldn't use my looks as an excuse to bring less to the table as far as personality goes.

 

If I looked better, I think there'd be a pretty good chance that someone out there would consider me their type in the sense that I meet all their reqs...not everyone, just someone.

 

I was funny, smart, and interesting before I dealt with what I dealt with. If that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be struggling with all the things I struggle with now while still having all the good stuff. When being the ugly duckling turns out to be a long-term thing rather than a phase, there's nothing positive to take from it.

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heres your problem.

 

 

Thanks, but I know what my problem(s) are. I just made a thread to ask guys who think they are ugly if they would change their attitudes if they weren't born ugly.

 

I never made an "I'm so ugly thread why doesn't anyone like me".

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Thanks, but I know what my problem(s) are. I just made a thread to ask guys who think they are ugly if they would change their attitudes if they weren't born ugly.

 

I never made an "I'm so ugly thread why doesn't anyone like me".

 

I know i dont want to be a * * * * but, what would the purpose of such a thread be. Regardless of intent, the solution remains.

 

I grew up relatively good looking, but never with any confidence and the worst self esteem, and in highschool i didnt successfully date, all my girlfriends(the few that i had) came from out of my school district because i never had the balls to talk to anyone in the halls. So thats why i think your putting to much emphasis on the looks, in fact how often do you see the ugly confident guys with the girls!

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I know i dont want to be a * * * * but, what would the purpose of such a thread be. Regardless of intent, the solution remains.

 

I don't take any offense to you. But sometimes a question is just a question. I am very curious if all the guys who post about their ugliness would stay humble and treat everyone nice, or would they become a rockstar and start sleeping with all the hot chicks.

 

I have no underlying message to my thread.

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I don't take any offense to you. But sometimes a question is just a question. I am very curious if all the guys who post about their ugliness would stay humble and treat everyone nice, or would they become a rockstar and start sleeping with all the hot chicks.

 

I have no underlying message to my thread.

 

Are you implying that guys that sleep around a lot aren't good people?

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Are you implying that guys that sleep around a lot aren't good people?

 

Of all the guys I know that sleep around a lot, few keep it to themselves. Most assume that I should be impressed or impacted by such information. Are they good people? I'm sure they love their mom, call their dad on father's day, and kiss babies. Being arrogant, annoying, and obnoxious doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, it just makes your presence intolerable.

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Well I don't know how my life would be if I looked very good, because that's a lot of years of differences.

 

But let's say I get a makeover, or magically wake up tomorrow, or whatever, and people find me attractive - I would still have the same morals/values as I do now, i.e. not sleeping around or game playing. My attitude would be a lot different though - I'd actually be feeling happy and confident in myself with people lots positive feedback and vibes.

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