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living with an ex!


Daisylover

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Here is my story:

 

My live in bf of over a year and I broke up-today! We lived together for a year+ we're both 25. We had/have communication problems(broke up earlier few times because of that) went to couples counseling(for 2 sessions) 3rd one had to be canceled because we had a big fight,so we never went back.

 

I worked part-time and just recently started working full-time. I moved to his city/area because of him(I used to live 30min away from him..by car and much longer by public transportation) found job here and started to settle down a bit. Don't have any friends him besides him. I have few close friends in my old area and that's it! Don't have a lot of friends in general

 

Anyway,he offered me to stay with him until I find my own place.he has a spare bedroom where I can stay. I packed everything up and have two garbage bags full of my everyday clothes. He wanted to remain on good terms,be friends and help me out with getting a new place and maybe giving me some of his old furniture. I can't talk to him(both of us said terrible things to each other during this fight/break up...mostly me,because I have to start my life form scratch and its scary) he said he won't make my stay awkward,but I'm sure it will be..i'm not talking to him,I'm spending most of my day upstairs in the bedroom and since his my ex I have to start seeing him as one. Its harder to move on that way,its harder to realize that this is not your house anymore.

Ideally,I would like to remain friends because we learned so much from each other and helped each other all the time,but its hard when you're under the same roof with your ex and all you need is time alone and be apart from him so all that anger that I'm experiencing will disapear!

 

Has anyone been in my situation,does anyone know how to be strong,keep your dignity and confidence.

 

 

Thank you guys!

 

P.s. Before this relationship I was in one for 4yrs we lived together for 6 month month didn't worked out and he got to keep all the furniture(it was my choice because I decided that I should move out and stayed with a friend)

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Firstly, very sorry to hear about this, it must be doubly tough as you're not near your close friends as well.

 

I think though that he's doing his best to be a gentleman about this by allowing you to stay there (I know its not MUCH given your previous situation) and it could be worse, you could have nowhere to go.

 

Hang in there, try and put some physical distance between you if you can by going out and finding things to keep you occupied outside the house, hopefully you will find some new friends as well, maybe through work.

 

Try and keep in touch with your friends and family by phone as well, they'll be able to give you some support. And hopefully it won't be long before you find a place of your own.

 

I've been there (with kids as well) so I know how hard it is, but you will get through it.

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R u sure u cant work it out? Sounds like you have had these kind of fights before and been able to patch things up. Maybe this is only a bump in the road, and you can work out your communication problems it has only been one day. If not then I think the most important thing for you to do is to get out of there ASAP. Doesnt matter how far, but far enough so that he is not such a big part of your life anymore. He is wondering how long you are gonna stay.

 

I would talk to friends or family and see if they can help you out with a place to stay for a bit, doesnt sound like you have much furniture so all the better. After that I would go get a make over, get your hair and nails done and enjoy life. Try to find an old boy friend or make some new friends out at the club, maybe have a summer fling.

 

Either way staying in that house is only gonna make things harder on yourself as he will always be on your mind. You guys sound like you have a solid friendship so you dont have to forget the good memories that you have together, you just need to keep your life moving forward or eventually your loneliness is gonna eat ya up.

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when we broke up I staid there for awhile as I had nowhere else and it really tore at my soul. All the love gone just strained politeness. So if you guys are still there and still talking reasonably there may be some slim hope.

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