Jump to content

Should I ask him why he doesn't ask to see me anymore?


jhinnako

Recommended Posts

Things were going so great with this guy for several months. We spoke nearly every day, texted, saw each other at least once a week, he'd ask me to hang out almost like clockwork every friday night. I asked him to hang out occasionallly too.

 

Then like 6 weeks ago, he just stopped. He still talks to me online a lot, the texting has slowed though. I asked him to hang out about 3 weeks ago, he seemed excited and we had a really good time together, but he still hasn't mentioned us hanging out any more--but continues to talk to me for hours over AIM pretty often? I know he's been really depressed lately--with his job and his life. Should I ask him why he doesn't ask to hang out any more? I feel like since I asked him last time, I shouldn't ask him again until he mentions it...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my 2 cents is that he has lost interest for whatever reason.

 

I agree, but why give him the privilege of chatting with you over AIM if he is not asking you out? I would keep the chatting very short "thanks for the message -- no time to chat now, sorry!" so that if he wants to chat more he has to put in the effort to ask you out on a date.

 

Not sure what you mean by "hang out" - was he asking you out in advance for Friday nights or did he call you last minute (that day) to "hang out"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, it's his turn to ask you to spend time together since you're the one who asked last time. That's how it worked back in elementary school and it's still how it works as adults. Never mind the fact that he used to ask you most of the time.

 

I have no idea why he's still talking to you for lengthy periods of time on AIM.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I asked him to hang out about 3 weeks ago, he seemed excited and we had a really good time together, but he still hasn't mentioned us hanging out any more--but continues to talk to me for hours over AIM pretty often? ..

 

He has stuck you in the FriendZone without saying those words-- and he does not really have to tell you that because you and he did not get very close.

HE has very low romantic interest in you otherwise he would be pursuing you and suggesting dates.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I actually asked him that very thing several weeks ago--if he saw me as a friend. I told him I'd like him to tell me the truth, that I just wanted to know--not to spare whatever feelings he thinks I had. He said exactly that "I don't want this to fall into the friendzone. I'd really like to keep dating you and getting to know you. I don't sleep with my friends."

 

So he lied--to spare my feelings, any way? I hate that--it's really *not* the kinder thing to do, reguardless of what he thinks. It's confusing and misleading...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't want this to fall into the friendzone. I'd really like to keep dating you and getting to know you. I don't sleep with my friends.

 

did you say this face to face, or online?

 

if it was online, he could easily lie to you about whatever - but when you say things in person, you see the person's body language, hear his tone of voice, see the look in his eyes, etc

 

again, stop with the online communication - it's too easy for him to play you that way

 

he doesn't seem that into you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

okay, but again, is this all happening online?

 

people lie online quite often - he could be totally full of shat

 

regardless, he is not that into you - actions speak louder than words

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree that you shouldn't be on aim so much with him. It doesn't make sense. If you are both sitting in your separate houses chatting on aim for hours, you could have gotten together in person and physically chatted somewhere for hours. I would say something like, I want to get out of the house. Want to take this conversation to IHOP (or something)? He isn't asking. I'd say just ask one more time. If he comes up with a lame sounding excuse then you know he doesn't care about you enough to actually see you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

addicted-- that's the thing though. I know with all certainty that if I asked him to hang out, he'd say yes. He'd probably act really excited about it too. We would hang out and have a great time together, he'd probably sleep over--but he'd be 100% fine with just sleeping next to me(probably cuddled up), he wouldn't need to have sex-that's not a condition with him. He's actually a gentleman.

 

*But*, I want to know why *he* doesn't suggest us hanging out any more, when for 2 months straight he did every week. As it stands now, he hasn't *asked me* to hang out in a month and a half--again, we saw each other about 3 weeks ago, but that was when I asked. Obviously something has changed, he's lost interest, whatever. I don't like asking someone to spend time with me when they show no real interest in initiating seeing me in return.

 

I think next time he contacts me, I'll just tell him I need to take a step back from him--because I like him, but that something appears to have changed and I need some time to work it out, and cut him loose.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He Calls Me Instead Of Texting
He Calls Me Instead Of Texting

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...