Jump to content

Is still living at home at 25 unattractive?


shy2cool

Recommended Posts

It depends: you're saving up to purchase your house (+)

Are you financially independent otherwise? (+ if you are)

Full time student? Working at a non-dead end job? (+ if you are)

 

I think if you have your priorities in order (as in, not just living at home for free rent and blowing your extra money on bars, shopping, whatever) it's not a turnoff. It all depends on the circumstances.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What if you are searching for work?

 

Given the state the economy is in, I think it's understandable as long as you're legitimately searching (not just saying on a whim, "oh yeah, I'm looking...")

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is this unattractive to potential partners?

 

Being smart with your cash flow is highly respectful in this economy. Depends who you are looking to impress. It is only unattractive to those concerned in wrong fashoin. You are being smart and taking advantage of what you can at your age. Don't let anyone take that reality from you.

 

Home ownership is a perception which has been raised highly by the RE boom of 2000-2006. That perception has been crashing, accross the country, along with RE prices, since mid 2006. I appraise RE for a living in AZ. RE is a place to live, not something to show off to others. If they were to not accept your residence, they are not worth your time and effort, long term.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I'm going onto 25 and still at home, but I plan to move out at the end of this year - even with the economy the way it is and my very low pay (but I think it's still enough).

 

I would say that it is an un-attractive thing (the whole "momma's boy" thing regardless of how much you really are) however that is only a minor reason for me, because when you're out and about, no one knows that I don't own a car, or what my job is, or that I'm still a home, etc. So it's definitely not the direct reason why I personally am a dateless wonder.

 

So why do I want to? Because my household/family/upbringing is very non-social. Never do anything with their friends, never go out to do any hobbies, or exercise, anything. I need to get away from that influence and worry about what they think, and also "grow up" and be independent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As long as you don't mooch off your parents and aren't still being controlled by your parents as if you are a kid, then it's totally fine!

I know plenty of people around the age of 25 who live at home and it doesn't bother me. I just don't hang out at their houses often unless I know their parents well and get along with them! I love having dinner and drinks with friends and their parents!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So why do I want to? Because my household/family/upbringing is very non-social. Never do anything with their friends, never go out to do any hobbies, or exercise, anything. I need to get away from that influence and worry about what they think, and also "grow up" and be independent.

 

I am looking to do the exact same thing as you.

 

I feel 'bad' for still being at home, but my parents would be upset if I moved out and rented, even though I would really like to and wouldn't doing that mind that. I guess I can't win either way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You need to move out, you are an adult now and should not be controlled by your parents. That you let them control you in your mature age shows that they are having an unhealthy effect on you.

For me, moving out and living alone was one of the best things that ever happened to me, It really made me a much more mature and independent person.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

but my parents would be upset if I moved out and rented

 

You need to move out, you are an adult now and should not be controlled by your parents.

 

My parents don't "control" me (in the end), but every week/weekend it just doesn't seem right to do my own thing - like being the individual in a group of friends who goes off and does his own thing all the time. And when I do want to do something, I have all the usual cotton-wool questions and classic momma's boy stuff, like getting picked up/dropped off EVERYWHERE! (and they get unhappy if I say no).

 

Similarly they will get upset and probably treat me like more of a momma's boy with how I'm "throwing money away" with rent instead of staying with much cheaper board at home, and some of the housework taken care of.

 

Moving out won't directly help my [non]relationship troubles - heck might make it worse if I have to spend more time with chores, saving more money to live, etc. - but still, I just need to get out of here. Even if things are the same after I'm out, at least everything will be on my own terms. Might be an expensive Placebo, but I'll take it.

 

Disclaimer : in these tougher times and especially my in-experience in the whole process (and I don't expect much help from the parents) it still could be nothing happens so I'll look like that idiot who only talks big, lol. I'm fair dinkum out to try though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I'm 24 and I'm still living at home. I can't afford to live on my own because I don't get paid enough and I just graduated college a year ago. It's hard also with having to pay college loans, but I hope to be out of here within 1-2 yrs. But I can understand why it would be unattractive to some people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you'll find some that would care and some that wouldn't.

 

I would be very reluctant to date a guy who was still living at home. I got sick of having to tip-toe around parents & listening to them nag him about still being there. I'd rather have some peace and quiet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it all depends on your culture. I for one am grateful that I live in a very family-centered culture because I just can't plain afford to rent, never mind OWN, a place of my own. Where I'm from it's not uncommon to see even young professionals still living with their parents well past 25. Sometimes it's even the parents who offer to build a young married couple their first home on the premises of the family home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was in my 30s and dating I declined to date anyone who lived at home with his parents unless he was in school full time, it was an emergency situation and/or a very temporary situation (i.e. just divorced and about to move into his own place, waiting to close on a house). The "saving to buy a house" didn't really work for me if the guy was over 30 or so. I lived at home with my parents until I finished grad school - at age 28. It made an enormous difference in my maturity, independence, and social life when I moved out - never imagined it would have such a huge effect.

 

25? I think it's ok, it depends why -- if I were you I would pay rent somewhere to have the experience of being on your own and to avoid the hassle of living at home once you have a girlfriend and want alone time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It just depends on which person you are talking about. Some won't be turned off by it, some will. Probably those who are more independent (live on their own), will expect the same out of others, while those in similar situation to you, will not mind as much.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I fully agree with what you're saying there. I guess the only thing keeping me from moving and and renting are the cultural aspects.

 

I definitely don't feel comfortable bringing anybody back home to my parent's place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldn't mind depending on the circumstances. If he's in college full time or had to move back home because of a lay off, sick parents or something that's fine. I wouldn't be cool with a guy who was at home because didn't want to work. I know a lot of people who've had to move back home because of the economy.

 

Heck, I had to move in with my dad and stepmom after I got laid off. I'm working but trying to find a decent job so I can move back out. I loved living on my own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it all depends on your culture. I for one am grateful that I live in a very family-centered culture because I just can't plain afford to rent, never mind OWN, a place of my own. Where I'm from it's not uncommon to see even young professionals still living with their parents well past 25. Sometimes it's even the parents who offer to build a young married couple their first home on the premises of the family home.

 

I agree with Ramm Zwei.

 

From a financial aspect, living at home saves money. From a family aspect, living at home promotes close ties with parents. This is even more important once you have kids, because then they can see their grandparents all the time.

 

"Four generations living under one roof."

 

Personally, even if I had the money, I still would not move out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with Ramm Zwei.

 

From a financial aspect, living at home saves money. From a family aspect, living at home promotes close ties with parents. This is even more important once you have kids, because then they can see their grandparents all the time.

 

"Four generations living under one roof."

 

Personally, even if I had the money, I still would not move out.

 

I found I was far closer with my parents when I moved out because then my relationship with them was an adult one and we didn't have the tensions that come from an adult child living under the same roof and wanting to be treated like an adult but living like a child. Once I was independent we could relate much better as adult-adult, relating as parent-child when it was appropriate, but not because of a living situation.

 

I would not choose to have my child living with me and his grandparents (unless it was necessary) because I would want the child to have a basic family structure of parents-child and see his grandparents as often as possible without living under the same roof.

 

As far as saving money, the independence i gained from moving out was priceless and probably saved lots of money on therapy, lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...