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Guess It's Over...


hailtothevictors
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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Recap: Been seeing a girl for about 6 weeks, first four weeks were great. She is going out of state for 3 months this summer and after about 4 weeks told me she didn't want to do long-distance. But we decided to keep hanging out/going on dates ... nothing serious ... not necessarily exclusive. However, she knows that I would like to try long-distance and make it exclusive ... she however, was unwilling to commit given that she is leaving soon.

 

Last weekend she mentioned going to this concert together - I won tickets on the radio and was going to surprise her with them on Wednesday. I called her after class to meet up with her. She couldn't right then but said she'd call back in an hour. Two hours later she texted saying she would call later and never did. I left her a voicemail telling her about the tickets and asking her to let me know whether she wanted to go. She texted back saying she would call me Thursday. She never called on Thursday and hasn't called today (Friday) either.

 

Should I call her one more time to ask her about the concert? Or just take this as a clear signal that she does not want to hang out anymore? (despite wanting to just a few days ago). I have no idea what drove her so quickly from always wanting to hang out to not even wanting to speak.

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i think she doesn't deserve those tix!!!!!!!! take someone else instead. i mean it! i know she got under your skin, but i think you deserve a lot better than a girl who won't return your calls. she missed out, sucks for her.

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ps - i think it's incredibly rude of her to leave you hanging on this concert. she should have given you an answer right away, and if she couldn't make it, she should have told you straight up so you could find someone else to go with. i would find someone else to go with right away, don't waste any more time.

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I agree 100% with annie. Who knows what the reasons are for her not responding or calling back, it may be her way of trying to let you go, but whatever it is, she's not deserving of those tickets. You could try calling her one last time, and she better have a good reason for not getting back at you, but if she doesn't, just forget it and take someone else.

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Wow.

 

So she texted me at about 10:15 tonight (I work until 11) saying "Hey, let me know when you're done with work tonight!"

 

I figured I'd give her one more chance, so when I got done with work I texted her back saying I was done. About 45 minutes later she responded "I was going to give you a call, i went out to say hi to a high school friend who's visiting town though. What are your plans tonight?"

 

I texted back saying I wasn't sure yet, might be meeting up with some friends, and asked her what she was doing. It's now been about 45 more minutes ... still no response.

 

What the heck is she doing? Why continue to text me?

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Well she called last night and we talked for about an hour on the phone. I'm really glad she did - it helped clear up a lot of questions on my end and helped us get on the same page.

 

She apologized for not calling me and for the way she has treated me over the last couple of days. Her reasoning? Ever since we had our "talk" about not being in an official relationship, she has been feeling weirder about us hanging out. Not because she doesn't want to - but because she is afraid that she is leading me on.

 

Because she is "not at a place right now where I want to be in a relationship with anyone" and she knows that I would like to be in a relationship with her, she was worried that by her continuing to hang out with me, she was giving me false hope that she might decide she wants to do long-distance when she leaves.

 

I asked her what she wants to happen over these last few weeks: continue casually dating as we have been, continue to hang out "as friends" or just stop seeing each other. She said she definitely doesn't want to do the "just friends" thing - that would be weird. She said ideally we would continue to hang out, go out to eat, watch movies, cuddle/make out, etc. But she did request that we don't spend the night at each other's places any more. To her, that is too relationshippy.

 

She was also very torn about the concert. She said she really wants to go and knows that we would have an amazing time. But she thinks that taking a girl to this concert is like "the perfect date you would want to go on with your girlfriend" and it's too big of a step for her.

 

I'm probably going to hang out with her a few more times before she leaves, but she obviously does not want a relationship right now and things were moving a little too fast for her. Is it weird that I still want to hang out with her before she leaves, knowing full well that it will end in about two weeks and she has no interest in being in a relationship with me?

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If that's what you want to do then go ahead. I would not. I would feel as if I were being used.

 

That is the correct answer.

 

Look, to be blunt, I really don't see what is so great about any person that they get to treat you this way and still be in your life. Next her and have a nice fun girl-free end of the semester. Take a friend to the concert and have fun.

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