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I cheated on the love of my life, PLZ HELP!


mauiboy22

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I’m 22 years old and I have been with her for two and a half years. I have been in a few relationships, and this is by far the most serious one and most rewarding one I've ever had. It started off as just a regular teen relationship, lots of infatuation, and we thought it was love. After a while, I realized that I truly love her. I truly believed that THIS is the woman I want to marry. We had a bond. As a matter of fact, it seemed like throughout the relationship, she loved me more, and gave me more attention than I gave her. Which I most regret from the bottom of my heart. Stupid things like alcohol, weak/low self-esteem and the wrong friends were interfering with our relationship. So stupid!

 

I cheated on her one time in the beginning of our relationship due to still having a mindset of my old ways before I dated her. I decided not to tell her because I know it would break her heart and I loved her too much to ruin our relationship like that. I felt very guilty and decided to let the guilt fade away instead of ruin what we had going. After all, I loved her too much to see her hurt. A few days ago I F#$%^ up major. I was extremely drunk and thinking with the wrong head. My hormones got the best of me and I made out with another girl a very unattractive girl who I have known for years and actually quite disgusts me. In my state of mind that night I wasn’t thinking of my girlfriend’s feelings or what would be the consequences of my actions. I put a condom on and put it in about a centimeter then she said no and pushed me off, Thankfully, but still what I did was wrong and was the biggest mistake of my life! I left the room and slept on the living room couch. I woke up in handcuffs being accused of rape. I was devastated, my whole life crumbled in a matter of hours, I LOST EVERYTHING. I thought about even taking my own life.

 

My feelings on cheating on my love of my life are EXTREMELY guilty. I have had severe suicidal thoughts, and I completely acknowledge this as the biggest mistake of my life. I cry routinely, and I have fallen into a deep depression. I would do ANYTHING to get her back. I have apologized to her countless times, and she is completely aware of the pain I'm facing.

 

Her feelings on the subject are confused, as to why and how I could do this to her. She got very angry at me, cried her eyes out, beat me up, words cannot explain how remorseful I am and how hurt the both of us are. However, she says she can never take me back which hurts so bad. I told her I am changed from this day on and will prove to her that I can be a better person set and accomplish goals, I promised her I will do something positive with my life and be somebody someday. I know it is easy to say but I intend in every way to accomplish these goals, I will do whatever it takes even if she decides not to take me back. I want to prove to her that she can trust me again but I know that will not happen over night I know it will take a lot of time to heal the hurt and regain my trust. I hope I can prove to her my loyalty, respect and love to her so she can find it in her heart to trust me again. I can't change what I regret the best I can hope for is one more chance.

 

I think what I did hit her so deep, that she wants to stop loving me but its hard for her. I don't know what to do. She still wants to hang out with me and be around me, but its very dull since we are both quite sad. I don't know how to act, whether to act like a cheery friend to try to keep her happy, or should I give her a lot more space so she can think clearly, or if I should act like a friend that has a crush on her.

 

This is somewhat new for me, because usually I am an emotionally strong guy, and I don't get depressed too easily. This whole situation turned my life around. I am extremely concerned, and I’m crying as I’m writing this. Will I get her back? What can I do to get her back?

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I'm more concerned about this rape charge of yours. Did the unattractive girl decide to complain about rape because she doesn't want people to think she's a * * * * ? Or did you actually "put it in" without her consent?

 

You're not going to be able to spend time with the love of your life if you're going to jail.

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I do not believe she will ever trust you again... and if she does, and does get back with you, she will most likely feel that she's made a mistake taking you back... At least, I would.

 

This. We can forgive, and we can still love, but we will never ever forget.

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Wow. All I can say is I believe you are extremely selfish. You already cheated on her early in the relationship, then you get drunk and put yourself in that situation with a girl you've known for years. And she accuses you of rape? Now you think you've changed because you got caught doing what you KNOW you shouldn't be doing and feel like the world is crashing down on you because you can't get your ex back?

 

You should consider yourself lucky that she still wants to hang around and spend time with you! Now you want to get back with her and be a happy couple even for what you put her through? I'm sorry for being harsh, but you are being extremely selfish for wanting her back as your girlfriend right now.

 

If you really love her, LET HER GO and date other guys. Work on not being suicidal because you f*cked up, worry about that rape charge because you will forever be labeled as a "sex offender." If you go to jail, you are f*cked (literally, and maybe by other men). Worry about getting your life together and hire a good lawyer. You don't need to drag your ex through your drama, you've already done enough by cheating on her and being accused of raping your old friend.

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Cheaters don't get second chances. If I am with a man I am with him and if I want to mess around or think the relationship is not what I want anymore then I breakup then see other guys, but never cheated.

 

I doubt she will ever want to be with you again and if she does, deep down she will never truly trust you like before and every single fight you have will have some type of underlining meaning, which may always come back to the cheating.

 

Sorry if this seems harsh, but you want truth right? I have nothing to lose or gain, by telling this to you. Perhaps in the future you might want to think of the consequences before you do the actions.

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