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Being Ugly


jammin_james61

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Isn't fantastic?

 

I hate my pale skin, fat cheeks, double chin, big nose, thin hair, thin frame.

 

Bah, theories on attraction are a joke.

 

But one day someone is going to see all the 'flaws' you think you have and think they're perfection.

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It probably isn't as pale, fat, double, big, thin and thin as you think it is. We tend to be our own worst critics.

 

Certain family members, friends and girls tend to be pretty harsh critics too.

 

I'd like to believe it's in my mind but it's most definitely not.

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Doubtful.

 

I don't blame women that aren't attracted to me; I wouldn't be if I was in their position.

 

One can hope though.

 

I don't base my feelings on looks..so I guess I wouldn't be able to relate with you. I can give you one piece of advice though. I, as a woman, am not attracted to un-confident men. I would suggest taking all of the doubt you have and putting it behind you, if not permanently..at least once..you may be suprised with the outcome. Just my two cents.

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If it makes you feel any better, I am widely accepted as a very good looking man, and I still cant get any of the girls i want. It not really about looks, at least not for the girls that are worth it

 

Agreed. My SO was apparently "too big, too fat, too ugly" for "such a pretty girl like me"..Really..? Uhm, no. I love every single thing about him even every 'flaw' he thinks he has. He accepts mine as well. Perfect isn't real.

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I don't base my feelings on looks..so I guess I wouldn't be able to relate with you. I can give you one piece of advice though. I, as a woman, am not attracted to un-confident men. I would suggest taking all of the doubt you have and putting it behind you, if not permanently..at least once..you may be suprised with the outcome. Just my two cents.

 

I did a few times, got burned too badly. Lack of confidence in guys like me develops because of this reason. The disgusted looks I get as I approached women are too painful. Maybe my genetics just aren't meant to be passed down.

 

People that don't base feelings on look are very rare... but these types of people I encounter always seem to be on the internet...

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You're only ugly to others if you try to convince them that you are. If you can't accept yourself for who you are, you're never going to find someone to accept you for who you are. Everyone is attractive to someone.

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You're only ugly to others if you try to convince them that you are. If you can't accept yourself for who you are, you're never going to find someone to accept you for who you are. Everyone is attractive to someone.

 

I agree with this also. I used to be the same way you are until I just stopped focusing on my looks. I never realized how draining it really was until I quit. It really is an unfortunate habit. I realized i'm stuck with the body I was given. Sure, you can improve it with certain things..but nothing extremely drastic unless you want to have plastic surgery..that isn't an option for me though.

 

And to be completely honest, if that's you in your avatar picture..I don't see anything wrong with you..

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hahaha. As do I, la'isla. Thin hair, chubby cheeks, naturally extremely pale..but I tan...I could sit and point out flaws about myself ALL day long..literally. James, why don't you list out some of the qualities you DO like..? I would love to see that list.

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"I hate my pale skin, fat cheeks, double chin, big nose, thin hair, thin frame."

the bolded parts I *like*, and I don't mind the non-bolded parts. I'm sure there's someone out there who actually loves each bit you hate.

 

photo? unless you're shy. ;P

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If you're not happy with how you look, or you're not getting the results you'd like, then be proactive. Get a tan, lose some weight, improve your style, and work on the little things (eg grooming).

 

You'd be amazed how big of a difference a tan, proper fitting clothes, and a haircut that compliments your face shape can make to how others perceive you.

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I can't tan, I'm not fat, my style is no different from my friends... and I am groomed... I don't see why you'd assume I'm some slob.

 

Ugly is ugly, no matter how you dress it up.

 

pity parties are not attractive. i'm willing to bet that's the most unattractive part of you.

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Attraction plays a huge role in initial attraction, and that's the truth in this world. If you're very good looking (either gender) you're going to have a much easier time approaching people and probably at life in general than someone who was genetically unlucky. However, there are things you can do too - like dressing nicely, taking care of your appearance, working out etc. and hopefully these things will raise your confidence.

 

I saw a comment about how someone will be attractive to someone in this thread. It's better known as desperation: when you're too ugly to attract beautiful people you have no choice but to settle for someone roughly on par with you in terms of looks, unless you're rich (thus buying a pretty wife). Even if you're super confident and funny you're not going to get the hottest girls out there by weighing 300lb, shoulder length hair and two lazy eyes.

 

I'll assume OP's avatar is a picture of himself. His body looks pretty normal and from the side his face looks pretty decent too, although it's hard to tell given how small the picture is. OP, I think if you were more confident about your looks and didn't care so much about finding someone you'd be a lot happier.

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Just because my situation is pitiful doesn't mean I'm here looking for pity.

 

I'm curious if anyone on here is realistic enough to acknowledge that looks matter and/or see if anyone else is in my situation.

 

I don't sulk around school; everyone seems to enjoy my company. Most women never want to be intimate with me, however. Some were blunt as to their reason why.

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I can't tan, I'm not fat, my style is no different from my friends... and I am groomed... I don't see why you'd assume I'm some slob.

 

Ugly is ugly, no matter how you dress it up.

Uh oh, folks, we've got another one of these "cry on the forums then make excuses to not take people's advice" posts.

 

That said, I'll try anyway. Here are some things you can do, based on your picture:

- Lose the oversized t-shirt. It makes you look skinnier, not bigger. I was wearing XLs for a long time (I'm 6'5"), and as soon as I started wearing smaller sizes, I was extremely impressed with how much better I looked. Just wearing tighter, proper-fitting clothes did wonders for my appearance.

- Start working out. If you don't need to lose weight, then don't try to lose weight (even though cardio can be good for everyone). Change your eating habits a bit and try to bulk up - if you're anything like me, you'll have trouble gaining lots of mass, but the difference is DEFINITELY noticeable. Most of the change comes in how you carry yourself.

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Just because my situation is pitiful doesn't mean I'm here looking for pity.

 

I'm curious if anyone on here is realistic enough to acknowledge that looks matter and/or see if anyone else is in my situation.

 

I don't sulk around school; everyone seems to enjoy my company. Most women never want to be intimate with me, however. Some were blunt as to their reason why.

 

yes looks matter. they are NOT everything. if it were true, i'd have gone out with only the hot guys.

but attitude matters even more.

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Just because my situation is pitiful doesn't mean I'm here looking for pity.

 

I'm curious if anyone on here is realistic enough to acknowledge that looks matter and/or see if anyone else is in my situation.

 

I don't sulk around school; everyone seems to enjoy my company. Most women never want to be intimate with me, however. So were blunt as to their reason why.

 

Yes of course looks matter. But that's not all that matters.

 

I am pretty convinced I have the fattest thighs known to man. I have a skin disease that leaves my upper chest discolored and it's very noticeable when I wear any sort of shirt other than a turtleneck. I have acne and acne scars and I'm 26. Most of the time I dress like a lesbian though I'm straight. I rarely wear makeup and I eat to my heart's content. I'm 5'0" and 160lbs. I have a big nose. My boobs are not attractive when they're bare. I have a big butt that I dislike. I have back acne. I've messed up and gotten tacky tattoos before. Sometimes I stare at myself and think "jesus, who'd ever love this?"

 

But you know what? Someone woudl. And many guys have in the past. If I sit there and go "oh my god i'm sooooo ugly" and anytime someone tells me I'm attractive and I shoot them down, then yeah, i'm ugly. And if I sit there and disagree completely with someone that one day someone might find me attractive, then i might as well be set to die alone b/c when you are on a pity party, you're unattractive and no one will want someone who puts himself down all the time.

 

Even if you're not here looking for pity, what you're doing right now (shooting down everything someone has to say to you) is a pity party. And it's ugly. Uglier than pale skin and big cheekbones and whatever else it is that you listed.

 

Yes, looks do matter in this world. But even with how ugly i see myself sometimes, i know that someone out there will think i'm attractive one day and i do know that any guy i've been with in the past has thought me attractive before. So there you go. I'm sure you'll have something to contradict all this, but don't bother. You know it's the truth. you just don't want to accept it!

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What is with you people?

 

In that photo I was going on a hike... I'm not going out of my way to be stylish in said situation.

 

I have been working out for the last 6 months and eating more protien, no one has seemed to notice though.

 

your picture has nothing to do with what you bolded. i can almost bet that poster's remark is based on everything you have said in this thread.

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