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Revised policy on women, effective 2009/05/02


mfan
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I tend to make friends more with women than men. Maybe because I have more in common with women than men personality wise. But I often feel shy to talk to women with the idea of becoming friends with them, because I'm afraid THEY will think I'm hitting on them.

 

Effective May 2, I will no longer concern myself with this. If a girl thinks I'm hitting on her, I'll walk away and she might be missing out on getting to know someone nice, but I will no longer be bothered trying to make all other people feel comfortable all of the time.

 

Thank you for your consideration.

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so you would like to go up to strangers and become friends with them? like females? of course they would think you are hitting on them. you have to have some common bond to become friends i think. meet at a bar or some other social place...i dunno, that just seems odd.

 

maybe like an ad or website for people looking for friends would be best.

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Well generally men who approach women have some interest in them so that may be where the confusion lies. Don't concern yourself with it. They will know you are not interested when they notice that you are not asking them out on dates.

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Well generally men who approach women have some interest in them so that may be where the confusion lies. Don't concern yourself with it. They will know you are not interested when they notice that you are not asking them out on dates.

 

naw, they will just post here.

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Wait, so you just walk up to people (generally women) you don't know and try to be friends....

 

I can't say I've done that.

 

Friends typically happen through classes, clubs, lab partners, and meeting people through other people. I don't approach randoms in hopes of becoming friends.

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^^^yeah, i think it's odd too. i would only approach a girl if i wanted to get to know her to maybe date her. i would find it weird if i was just walking around and some girl just wanted to be friends. in a bar or something social, for sure talk to people and network.

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To clarify, I didn't mean I'd go up to random women whenever. I mean the typically accepted places (classes, bars, maybe someone in my office building who I see occasionally). But still, previously I'd assume they would think I wanted to hit on them (not true) and I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Now I'm willing to risk it.

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To clarify, I didn't mean I'd go up to random women whenever. I mean the typically accepted places (classes, bars, maybe someone in my office building who I see occasionally). But still, previously I'd assume they would think I wanted to hit on them (not true) and I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Now I'm willing to risk it.

 

I also wanted to add: how do you talk to them? Because I've had guys talk to me in social settings where I did not get any vibe that they were hitting on me. Other times, I definitely get the vibe. I think you have a lot of say in the impression people get by how you talk to them. I can often tell when a guy is flirting or hitting on me vs. when he is just being friendly because we are in the same social setting and everyone is getting to know each other.

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mfan

 

I wouldnt think you were hitting on me if you come up and tried to start a conversation. I have more male than female friends. I just find women to be back stabbing most of the time. (sorry girls)

 

I would say if all these woman are thinking that your hitting on them, then something in your conversation or attitude is telling them that.

 

Try a new approach.

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mfan

 

I wouldnt think you were hitting on me if you come up and tried to start a conversation. I have more male than female friends. I just find women to be back stabbing most of the time. (sorry girls)

 

I would say if all these woman are thinking that your hitting on them, then something in your conversation or attitude is telling them that.

 

Try a new approach.

 

I agree with this, for the most part.

 

Except the part about back stabbing--I often see women post that and I'm thinking "damn, who were your friends!" Must be bad luck. I've never had that problem with female friends. I could spot the ones that were not capable of being true friends very early on and I don't think men are any better suited for me as friends. But I don't want to get off topic here.

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Maybe off topic, but I would consider trying to befriend more guys.

 

I have women friends too...but I think guys need guy friends as well.

 

I agree. I have a good friend who has mostly female friends but he also has his core group of guy friends that he spends time doing guy stuff with and talking with about things he would probably not speak to his female friends about. I think most people find it nice to have a good mix of both.

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