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We always argue over this and I can't let it go.


tekimega

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My girlfriend looks at a photo album with pictures of her and her Ex and wears the ring he gave her on her wedding finger. She tells me that the days with him were the best days of her life and nothing will ever come close to it.

 

It makes me feel insecure, and so when I tell her she says, "Deal with it."

I tried telling her that it is really hard being in a relationship where I am always going to be 2nd in someone's heart, especially when I give her my best and she tells me, "Just accept it."

 

I make her upset when I bring it up, so I just internalize it, but it hurts my feelings whenever I think about it, and I think about it everyday.

 

It's even worse when I think about how he physically abused her and hit her, and she still says she's not over him.

 

Why does this make me feel so insecure?

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Because she shouldn't be telling you to accept it. If you don't want her to talk about it, she should respect that and not look at that when you're around. Otherwise, clearly you're not the priority of her life and she doesn't truly care about you (as much as that sucks). She should move on from the past and embrace what you two have (assuming its a good relationship).

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if this is not grounds for insecurity ,then i don't know what is!!! she still loves this guy and is not willing to let go and move on with her life. what would hurt me the most is her telling you 'deal with it'. to me this shows total lack of love, care and respect to you. she is indifferent to your feelings, and instead is caught up in her own ''lost love''.

 

IF.... AND THIS IS A BIG IF you want to give her a chance then i suggest that you have a serious talk with her where you tell her that if she carries on like this then she is correct..... ''those were the happiest days of her life and nothing will come close''......... because she does not give it a chance to. ask if she is willing to let go of the memories of this relationship and start seeing it for what it really was.and what it is- the past.

 

personally i would be have left already. why be with someone who does not love you and still craves someone else?? find someone who thinks ONLY of you.

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its one thing to not throw that stuff away, but to wear the ring, look at the pictures often enough for it to be a problem, AND to say u cannot touch what they had???!!!

 

What a joke, what in the world are u doing still with her? no one wants to be single, no one wants to lose who they really like, but come on, u cant be that blind.

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It's even worse when I think about how he physically abused her and hit her, and she still says she's not over him.

 

If she's not over him then she has NO business being in a relationship with someone else.

 

If she's not over him, she's not at a point in her life where she is capable of creating and being part of a healthy relationship. She's only going to create a screwed up mess and probably drag some otherwise blameless person into her mess.

 

Oh, wait...she already has.

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Finish with this girl!! She is taking pi** mate! She can't tell you these things and expect you to be alright with it. No way! I certainly would not be. No wonder you are feeling insecure! She is still hung up on this guy totally, whoever he is, so go and find someone else who does care about you and how you feel. Jesus, cant believe some people.....

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yeah this girl sounds like she's still not over this guy! I mean, seriously, the ring on her wedding finger?!?!? But the worst part of it is, she belittles how you feel and thinks this is okay.

 

I don't know...i would want to be number 1 in someone's heart not their fall back person...

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Wow. Is she for real? If someone I was dating said that to me, I would be flabbergasted. Then I'd pick my jaw off the floor and leave. She is basically telling you that she doesn't think you're good enough for her and she's holding a torch for her ex. She wears a ring he gave her, on her wedding finger no less, and it has a great significance to her. And she actually expects you to suck it up and deal with it? I mean, who does she think she is?? She's saying "Look at me I'm so wonderful...you should feel lucky to get scraps from me." Ugh. I would definitely dump her. She is not relationship material.

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My girlfriend looks at a photo album with pictures of her and her Ex and wears the ring he gave her on her wedding finger. She tells me that the days with him were the best days of her life and nothing will ever come close to it.

If that's the case, why isn't she still with him?

 

I could never see myself in a relationship with someone who shows such little respect for me and our relationship, by openly flaunting her feelings for an EX by wearing his ring etc etc. and literally making you second.

 

If I was in your shoes, I'd be out the door so fast you wouldn't see me for dust, lol, but that's just me.

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What's your relationship like other than on this issue?

 

I think it's completely unacceptable for her to be wearing his ring on her wedding ring finger. It's also unacceptable for her to effectively tell you that you do not compare to him and to "deal with it" or "accept it".

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If you dont mind playing second best with this girl for as long as it takes until she either a, leaves you for him again or b, leaves you for someone else or c, breaks your heart then I say ignore it and remain with her.

 

However, if you realize that she is treating you as a doormat, and a stepping stone to bridge the gap between her last relationship and the next one that she actually cares about (because trust me, based on your post she doest give a crap about you) then you need to dump her like last weeks garbage and move on.

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far out.

 

She is incredibly selfish and cruel. Why tell you that they were some of her best days and nothing will come close to it, or that she is not over him? Why...

 

Thats one sure way to make you feel like crap!

 

And for her to do that in front of you and say 'deal with it' is childish. If she really has to, do it alone. If she keeps looking at them, she wont get over it.

 

I have to agree with jet_palero. Where can this relationship really go? She can't fully comit to you.... maybe ask her what she really and truly wants... coz if your not it, walk away.

 

 

Question tho: how long as she and her ex broken up for and how long after did you get together? you sure your not on the rebound?

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Is this for real? I think you're fully in the right to feel as you do. I can't for the life of me imaigne why you're still there though.

 

This gal sounds stuck in the past, not a crime in itself but it's manifesting itself in the most disrespectful of fashions.

 

If you want to feel like a piece of S*** and have your self esteem put through the wringer, stick with her.

 

Otherwise get out of this asap mate, find someone who WANTS you, cos this gal is only rubbing your face in it that she doesn't. You will only hate yourself if you don't

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Do You Need Reassurance? Stop It Li...
Do You Need Reassurance? Stop It Like This

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