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Just one of those 'one step back' days


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When I feel sad and lonely and nothing seems right in the world.

 

I'm chief bridesmaid for a close friend getting married in December and I've been roped in to help with many of the details. I've been to the bridal studio, given my opinion on dozens of dresses and designs as she tried them on, looked through sample photo albums, scrolled through photoshoot venues. Everything is so surreal, I just feel I couldn't be further from that kind of scenario.

 

I thought I had found the one I was going to marry too... now it's just a distant, sad memory. And while I'm struggling with heartbreak, my friend's greatest worry is that the colour of the carpet at the hotel ballroom will clash with her wedding dress. Is this a joke?

 

That's life I guess, I just have to continue being strong and to work towards healing. Right now my original dreams are gone but they've also been replaced by others -- living a true and purposeful life and not settling for second best in all aspects. because I'm top priority, I come first and I deserve only the best.

 

Just ranting and trying to cheer myself up... Hopefully I'll be feeling good again tomorrow and it'll be two steps forward.

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I hear you, one of my good friends just got married last weekend in a ceremony that was eerily similar to my own wedding, only 5 months ago. I couldn't make it to the wedding due to illness - which turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as I don't think I could have handled it. Just calling her afterwards, hearing how happy she was, hearing her say - word for word - the *exact* same thing I said about how "it really ended up meaning so much more to me than I expected", just about broke my heart.

 

Be glad that you have until December to prepare for the wedding. Meanwhile, I can *definitely* relate to how hard it is to watch someone else - no matter how much you care for them and how happy you are for them - proceed with the life you were supposed to have. It sucks!!! But we will pick up and move on and forge new lives of our own creation, as stronger women. Hang in there!

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Hugs!

 

Happens to us guys too you know.

 

Just got to think that had you gotten married you just might have become another divorce statistic too eventually ie how many people go down the isle with doubts and don't listen to them either.

 

Still sucks I know...keep busy for distraction and get that TLC.

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Thanks guys! I stayed away from ENA yesterday and decided not to read all the threads... Felt tons better today It comes and goes but I definitely have way more good moments and days than bad ones.

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haha what do you know, i saw my ex today, he was walking in front of me near both our offices. I ignored him and walked right by. he probably saw me but i don't really care. It affected me for about two hours after that, as i wondered what he was doing, where he was going after work and why didn't he come up to me. But after that i was telling myself watev, don't waste my time thinking about such silly silly things!

 

really not worth it... don't ya agree?

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