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Have you ever had a guy reject you and then wants to be your "friend" right away?


lilred

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So I just don't get this guy...i mean he rejected me stating we would be better off as friends than boyfriend/girlfriend after 2 months of dating.

 

We ended it on a "good" note, or as good as as could be, but then he turns around 2 weeks later and sends me evites to his parties and calls me just to "chat."

 

I wish he would just leave me alone since i'm not 100% over this guy, but what gives? Does he really just want to be friends since he is completely over me? I am too proud to tell him to leave me alone for awhile.

 

I find this behavior bizarre. Please help.

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but then he turns around 2 weeks later and sends me evites to his parties

 

I would thank him for the invitation, but say you can't go because you have "a date" and see his response.

 

If you don't see the point in a friendship with him, make yourself less and less available and slowly phase him out of your life.

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I can't be friends with him since I'm not over him completely. I just think that becoming his friend would give ME false hope. Just not sure what he's thinking.

Just because he doesn't want to 'date' you doesn't mean he doesn't like you.

 

I'm sure you've had this happen in reverse before - dated a guy who you didn't want to date but still liked nonetheless?

 

That you only dated for two months should mean you don't have too much invested and can still be friends - at least that's what I assume he would be thinking. If you don't agree, then you don't have to be friends with him, but at least he's trying.

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I assume you have plenty of friends. What's the point of keeping him around?

 

I had one ex who wanted to be my 'friend' - my friend with benefits. He wanted us to 'help' each other through the period where we would both be single and looking.

 

If your instinct is to not be friends, then I would follow that instinct. Always be true to yourself, you will experience less pain that way.

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i'm just wondering what's going on this guy's head...i mean does he really want to be friends or is there something more? i feel like i'm getting mixed signals. or am i just seeing what i want to see?

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i think that i could be his friend at a later date when i don't have any feelings for him anymore. he's really a great guy. but i still like him. so i'm just wondering if he's intentions are pure....or is there something still there (on his part)?

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That you only dated for two months should mean you don't have too much invested and can still be friends - at least that's what I assume he would be thinking. If you don't agree, then you don't have to be friends with him, but at least he's trying.

 

I disagree. I mean I think it's nice that he's trying. But sometimes people do develop feelings after a couple of months and when you want more, it's hard (and often foolish, in terms of healing) to settle for friendship.

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I disagree. I mean I think it's nice that he's trying. But sometimes people do develop feelings after a couple of months and when you want more, it's hard (and often foolish, in terms of healing) to settle for friendship.

True. If you've developed feelings that will require time to get over then friendship may not be for you at this time.

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i'm just wondering what's going on this guy's head...i mean does he really want to be friends or is there something more? i feel like i'm getting mixed signals. or am i just seeing what i want to see?

 

There is really know way for anyone here to answer that question. None of us know this guy, there are many reasons that could be behind is motivation.

 

Were you friends with him before? He could just want to continue being friends. In addition to that he could feel guilty for rejecting you and is trying to be extra nice to you.

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There is really know way for anyone here to answer that question. Non of us know this guy, there are many reasons that could be behind is motivation.

 

Were you friends with him before? He could just want to continue being friends. In addition to that he could feel guilty for rejecting you and is trying to be extra nice to you.

Again, true. I've broken it off with someone before and tried to be their friend just to take a step back and have the time to decide whether or not I actually wanted to date them, while not having to either end it entirely nor feel obligated to act a certain way.

 

Could be his way of taking a 'time out'.

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Were you friends with him before? He could just want to continue being friends. In addition to that he could feel guilty for rejecting you and is trying to be extra nice to you.

 

Yes, I agree that he might be feeling guilty. I've had this happen and then later found out the guy only went out of his way to stay friends because he felt bad about rejecting me. The best thing to do is realize you don't have to ease his conscience. Let him deal with his guilt or his need to be your friend on his own. In the meantime, you can lessen your contact and start focusing on other guys who want to date you.

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