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bad day drunk rant...


giggidy
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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I've been doing really well since the breakup... it's been about two months... she didn't call or e-mail on my b-day or anything. i kinda hoped she would. she dumped me after two and a half years and dated someone four days later. it doesnt' affect me most of the time, but now i'm kinda down on it.

 

Anyway, i had a day full of hate and despisal. then went home, and i layed down, and i just started crying. it really sucks. i thought about how much i miss the little thing. how much i loved her, how much i cared about her and how much i invested in her happiness.

 

then i vented to my sister, she's been a good support, and cried again.

 

I thought about being replaced by someone and got pissed again.

 

then i gained acceptance and felt like she deserved happiness no matter where she found it.

 

 

then i felt like i'd been through a lot already. i mean, i've been doing really good up till now. so i decided to get drunk with my friend.

 

helped a little, but still i'm pretty upset. i don't usually drink when i'm upset, or durring a process of a breakup, but i've just had enough...

 

I wish i had some evidence that she actually gave a damn... i seem to be the only one struggling. i've never done anything to hurt her in this process, and much of her signals to me have been the opposite. it seems like she wants me to be jelous. but screw that, i'm never being friends, never seeing her agian.

 

what a jerk.

 

i never expected this crappy of a day after two months of getting better. i have no clue what triggered it.

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yeah... i guess i just turned 21, and after my party i started having dreams of talking to her. maybe the social situation or the booze jogged some feeling loose... i think i'm going to lay off drinking for a while. i don't like over-doing things.

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