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Suggestions on where this might be going...Also what does everyone one think on marriage to 1st bf?


RoxyGril

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My bf is pretty much my 1st serious LTR and 1st everything. I have gone on dates before I knew him but nothing ever happened with them and lost contact with them. I have been with my bf for 2 yrs and can see myself not wanting to be with anyone else and only wanting ot be with him. I can say I am really happy with him and he treats me really well with the out most respect.

 

My bf and I had a conversation over this past weekend which went really well. We talked about living together, where our relationship is going and marriage. He said that he does want to be engaged in the next year and that he can see himself being with me. As far as moving in with each other, he feels as if being in engaged to live together. But, he just wants to be able to save some money for a ring. Which the way he was saying this, it sounded as if it won't sound like to much longer. I can definitely see things going in the right direction now. I am patient enough to wait for when the time comes.

 

Moving in together when engaged is one of his morals that he really feels strongly by. Which I am totally understanding about the situation and do agree with. It's if I understand and agree with him about that. Then why do I get a feeling that why aren't living together yet cause our relationship has being going for 2 yrs. How much longer is the waiting going to take?? IDK I think I just over think everything and make it a bigger deal then it needs to be...

 

But, what I got on my mind is that him being my 1st and if we were to marry each other. IDK but I am completely happy with him and don't want to be with anyone else cause I have such strong feelings for him.

 

Is it common or something to marry the guy who's the 1st?

 

I just see as if I wanted to go out meet someone new, party, etc. I wouldn't have been with him for the full 2 yrs. I just think that if that's what I wanted I wouldn't be in the positon that I am in with my bf. For myself I don't see that happening cause like I said I am completely happy with him...

 

Advice?? Anyone who would or feel like that they would marry their 1st bf (if in a relationship with them at this point in time)? Is it a wise decision or should it be based on how you feel for the person?

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I plan on marrying my partner, and he's been my one and only. No doubts whatsoever in my mind, I just tell myself I got lucky the first time around

 

I don't think this is a general answer that can be given.

Its wise if you love this person, they are what you want, they make you happy, you have a great relationship, you share the same views, goals, etc and want to be with them. It doesn't matter to me if its your 1st, 5th or 10th. Thats the point of dating is it not..to find that one person? Its not uncommon to find them the first time you have a relationship.

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I had a few two year relationships, so I can totally understand the nerves.

I didn't move with any of them as for me it was still too early on. I'm a bit like your boyfriend as in, if I move in with someone, it's serious (heading for marriage). (Never moved in with my ex's)

 

 

You are still young, and definitely don't need to rush to live together or get married. I've known people who married their first but usually they waited a bit longer (5-7 years of dating) to get married (minus a few exceptions of 1-2 years) to make sure of their decision.

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Well it's certainly more common to not marry your first partner, obviously but it does happen.

 

It also happens that the relationship gets so serious that you forget everything you missed out on.

 

If you both are absolutely certain that you've missed out on nothing and don't for a second doubt that this is the one, the right one than yeah, it's wise. Just don't be a fool in deciding. Your first should not be an obligation to make it the last.

 

And your young, there really isn't any need to rush... Besides you're going to be unpleasently surprised to realize the cost of weddings/ moving out. He's thinking as far as the ring... he should be thinking about 50,000 dollars past the ring! (As should you).

 

Ring: 3000

Apartment: 20,000 down payment (185,000 mortgage)

Wedding: 15,000

Furnishings: 10,000

 

Obviously pulling nubmer out my butt, but those number are not al all unheard of (depending on where you live/ your budgets and lifestyle).

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Plenty of people marry and have married their one and only and never had regrets. Having a ton of relationships doesn't mean anything if they all go sour. When it comes to relationships practice doesn't necessarily make perfect. People don't necessarily learn about themselves or how to have a good relationship just because they have had numerous partners. If this is your one and only then count yourself lucky that you didn't have to go through the aggravation of dating, trying to understand mixed signals, and dealing with crappy partners.

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Plenty of people marry and have married their one and only and never had regrets. Having a ton of relationships doesn't mean anything if they all go sour. When it comes to relationships practice doesn't necessarily make perfect. People don't necessarily learn about themselves or how to have a good relationship just because they have had numerous partners. If this is your one and only then count yourself lucky that you didn't have to go through the aggravation of dating, trying to understand mixed signals, and dealing with crappy partners.

 

lol yeah, that is so crappy not to mention the pain of break ups!

 

If it was me I would have wanted to be the one for my bf or at most the second partner he had! lol because otherwise I would feel left out. But as long as he was in the same shoes at me I would not have problems with it. However my attitude is a bit childish and I can't help it. :splat:

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I understand the amounts of money that it cost to purchase the ring and get everything for the wedding, as well as for the housing. But, I just feel as if he's the one which I can be completely happy with. I know it isn't probably common very much any more to marry the 1st. It's the fact the way he makes me feel and everything about him that I can see myself with and marry. It's just that I was sure if there are still a lot of people out there that feel the same with their SO/BF.

 

If I wasn't happy with the relationship that I have with him I wouldn't have put up with comitting to him for 2 yrs. It just all landed into the right place and I do have to agree with all of who have posted. There are just so many things to consider and to realize where the situation is going. It is a big decision to make!

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