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Unbelieveable Pain!! HELP!!!


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Hi all, I have been reading here for a little bit, and it seem as if people truly care about one another.

 

So I will try and tell my story with the hope of some understanding. Forgive the long post

 

My girlfriend of only 3 months just broke up with me. We were, I thought madly in love with each other, one of those type of relationships where you believe that she is the one.

 

Now I have known this girl since collage, 20 years ago, we were friends then, but no dating. At that time, I also started my journey in AA (alcoholics anonymous) and have been clean and sober all this time.

 

After graduation, I did see her again on the streets of NYC, if you can believe it, we talked, went in to a local restaurant and got a cup of coffee. Nothing further happened then.

 

Then about 3.5 years ago, I saw her in a local AA meeting. Couldn't believe it, but was happy to see her. I was married at the time, but there was an attraction, we stayed friends, but didn't do anything because I was married.

 

The short of it is, I did get a divorce last August. And got an email from her in Dec. We set a date for coffee in early Jan and we took off.

 

Now in the interim, I need to tell you that in Dec, she told me she was in a Detox, because she relapsed to drinking.

 

But being in AA myself, I understood, and hoped she would get better.

 

So we started dating in January, and things were going good. We had fun, did things together and just enjoyed each others company. But I was a little confused in that some times we would make plans, she came up with these weird excuses to break out plans. being a new relationship, I understood, and just said no problem hon.

 

As we moved on to Feb, the plans started to get broken more, and her attitude was really getting a little irrational. Came to find out in early Feb, that she relapsed again.

 

As a result, I helped her get in to another detox. She was doing great, seemed to have her stuff together, I was very supportive and not judgmental of her at all.......I loved her.

 

The rest of Feb was GREAT!!!! We spent all kinds of time together, talked about getting married, that god kept bringing us together, all that kind of stuff.

 

Then it all started again in March, the broken plans, the crazy attitude etc.....Yep, she picked up again, drinking. Went in to the hospital again, not only to be diagnosed with alcoholism, but with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from sexual and verbal abuse she took as a child and into her adulthood.

 

As I am writing this, I am saying to myself, anyone who is reading this must be thinking, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? THIS WOMAN IS NUTS!!! GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!

 

But I have to say, when sober, she is the most wonderful intelligent and caring woman you would meet. And I love her.

 

Anyway, after she got out of the detox this last time, she broke up with me. Keeps saying she can't deal with a relationship, anger or anything.

 

My heart is crushed, she won't even sit down to talk to me at this point other than texts.

 

Am I crazy?

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your not crazy, your in love

 

i admire your ability to stay next to her after everything she has put you through... im currently going through the same thing it sounds like shes going through and my bf and i have plans to bring me to the hospital monday morning.

 

i dont think your crazy, i think she just needs to figure her stuff out. for me this is my first time going to a hospital (drunk as we speak) and im incredibly hopeful they will help me out. my bf is at his wits end and its placing a lot of faith into the hospital.

 

if you love her and you know you do then stay by her. when she finally comes around shell be yours.

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No, you're not crazy. You're just in a tough situation.

 

I would recommend patience. She is going through what sounds like a very real life crisis, and one that you cannot save her from. Just as you had to go to AA on your own, and dedicate yourself to sobriety on your own, she will have to do the same. You can support her as she works on recovery, but you cannot carry her through it, and you would be doing her a disservice by doing so.

 

Hang in there, and try your best to be patient.

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