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The "30-Day No Contact Challenge", and my story...


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Well, after reading a few SH books and a couple pro-articles on breakups and healing, I am determined to try out something new and see how it works out. Based on the compiled opinions of a few psychologists, there is a 30-day no contact challenge in which you completely cut out your ex for 30 days then invite him/her on a casual date.

 

This is obviously done as a "heal test" to see if both of you can carry on a casual meet & greet without any re-hashing of past pain and anguish. Sort of like a clean-slate approach to see if there is enough interest left on both sides to start over fresh. My current situation is the following. My ex and I broke up about 2 weeks ago, and she tried through every means possible for me to remain in her life as a friend. I decided to dismiss this idea about 7 days ago and applied full NC.

 

She has been trying to contact me ever since although I have not replied. Everything from texts and e-mails saying she's falling into a deep depression to messages that express her sentiment and apologies for any pain she has caused for the last two years. She still calls and tries to contact me. Would the 30-day NC challenge apply to me? Should I be applying NC indefinitely anyway? Please let me know what you all think.

 

This is a struggle for me right now, although I do not plan on ever telling her it is...

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I think 30 days is too soon in my experience. I'd go with 60 or 90 days but considering how your ex is reacting then 30 days might not be too bad for you. The problem is as soon as you show interest in them again they start to back off so don't be too eager. I'm looking at the same situation as you right now with my ex trying to be friends with me after about 60 days of LC. I'm keeping my distance for now since I've been down that road before.

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