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Well, I though I've beaten my depression enough so that I can live my life the way I want it to be, but several events have lead to become a wreck lately:

 

At first I found out that my father will soon have a child, I don't care about what he's doing anyway, he's 60 and the mother is 35...

 

Then all of a sudden a flood of past events went through my head - the fighting of my parents for more than 9 years... Then my problems with relationships that have been caused by that... My job and my financial situation... I started to think that I'm worth nothing - I'm useless, in debt, etc...

 

And then I remember myself screaming and crying in the middle of the street, I had nearly no control over myself...

 

I'd like to seek some medical help, but first of all I don't have any money for a professional psychologist (whom I really need), now that makes me thing I'm going to become completely insane...

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Sounds like the news with your dad made you slide back into a place where you used to be. Don't let him have that power over you. You are doing well, you have gotten a handle on your depression. Just keep going on the same path. Don't let what your dad is doing with his life take you off track in your life.

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Sounds like the news with your dad made you slide back into a place where you used to be. Don't let him have that power over you. You are doing well, you have gotten a handle on your depression. Just keep going on the same path. Don't let what your dad is doing with his life take you off track in your life.

 

It's easy to say that, but I just don't have any point to start from - I realized that everything is the result of my parents fighting, It's like all of the childhood memories erupted in that psychosis I had this morning...

 

My job, my problems with education, relationships - all of them...

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That sounds really tough but the key is to remain calm. You said you were doing well and getting a handle on things. Do you mind if I ask, how so?

When people repress/ignore things for a long period of time (and I did) they tend to break out in a moment of weakness, I was just lying to myself that I'm doing well, I guess...

 

Now I'm fine again (because I can't change the things that have happened, but I can change what's going to happen) and I guess I'll try to take more care about my health and do some exercises, perhaps a gym could be an option, I've got lot's of talents and one reason why I suffer so much could be my ignorance towards the things that I'm able to do...

 

Thanks for your help...

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