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Happy to say that I am completely healed.


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About a year ago, I was pretty much a complete mess after the breakup. My ex quickly entered into a relationship few weeks after our breakup... at the time I felt so hopeless, there was nothing I could do to change what has already happened. I was forced to accept the fact that it's completely over. Reality is harsh but you got to deal with it sooner or later.

I must admit, I've struggled so much. Then I found this site, which was a BIG help at the time. The advice and articles written by members of this forum are very insightful, because they have all experienced similar situations which anyone of us could relate to.

 

Part of my healing process relied heavily on time, patience, friends, new hobbies and of course NC. But time flies... and I would never imagine myself to be in this position. I remember thinking several months back when people told me that time heals everything, well easier said then done, but trust me, be patient because time is on YOUR side. And in my opinion, NC sped up the process along w/ several other reinforcements such as doing things for yourself, going out w/ friends and just let loose.

As of right now, I no longer think about my ex the way I used to and all my feelings pretty much faded away. I no longer care about what she do in life or who she is with, it's her choice and I don't feel the need to be any part of it. I am just always optimistic and I am happy to be where I am now.

 

To those who are in pain, I completely understand what you are going through. There is no instant cure nor short cuts to get around heartbreaks, you must deal with it as it is. Take time to grieve but also think ahead and think for yourself, love yourself first. Pamper yourself, exercise, or do whatever else to keep yourself distracted. It's also very helpful to confide in a friend and talk about your feelings.

 

It may take some people awhile to adjust and actually starting implementing some of these advice because reality still haven't hit you. After a breakup, there is this initial shock of disbelief, and you gotta snap out of it. I know it took me quite sometime to actually apply those advice in my situation, such as NC. It was hard to cut off contact because of certain fear that I have to completely let go someone I was in love with, and the what if's? What if she change her mind? What if things can be different? No. Unless you want to be trapped in constant emotions of up and down then I suggest you cut the nonsense and save yourself from further rollercoaster of emotions. Like I said, you will have to deal with heartbreaks sooner or later in life, the sooner you are willing to face the facts, the faster you'll begin to heal. To those who are already doing NC, good job keep it up, I applaud you for making a brave move. Just be persistent and stay distracted.

 

Time is the key, just let time fly, you are already getting by day-by-day as slow as it may seem, time won't stop for you, it's all in the mind. Just know that you WILL get over your ex, and you WILL be happy again.

..... And with that said, you'll heal in no time. =) Good luck to you all. *hugs*

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Very uplifting to read your experience... those of us who have just started or are on our way there look to these kinds of posts as inspiration to reach the end goal, the light at the end of what seems to be such a dark and narrow tunnel.

What you said about facing up to reality is so true. The sooner we come out of denial, the faster we can start to heal...

 

Glad you made it and came out better for it...

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i love posts like this. thank you for coming back and giving hope and encouragement for those who are steps behind you. you are so right they we all have to be proactive in our healing, to wake up every morning and make each day count, it's up to us to make happy memories to overcome the sad memories of the break-up. with time and our own perseverence, we'll all get through it.

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Thank you for the uplifting words.

 

I am a dumper who has currently gone 84 days NC and am still praying for my intense feelings of loss to get better. I'm being proactive and doing a lot to move on but the pain is still there even after all this time. Posts like yours give me hope for better days.

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R41N

 

You are so kind to come back and give us encouragement with your positive update. When I first read the title of this thread I chuckled, imagining myself writing this in the future (or now, as an "as if" exercise to feel how nice it is.)

 

Take good care and be well, R41N!

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Thank you for the uplifting words.

 

I am a dumper who has currently gone 84 days NC and am still praying for my intense feelings of loss to get better. I'm being proactive and doing a lot to move on but the pain is still there even after all this time. Posts like yours give me hope for better days.

 

 

Why did you break up?

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  • 4 years later...

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