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Divorce: Slow, repetitive, and depressing.


MyheartorHis
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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Whoever thinks divorce happens fast and then it's over is completely wrong.

 

My parents have been in the midst of getting a divorce for MONTHS now. Things still aren't completely settled and they haven't even signed any papers! I am to the point where I'm just like 'If you are going to get a divorce then do it, if you guys want to work things out- WORK IT OUT'. I wish it was that easy.

 

I don't know what's worse... the in between stage where your children have no idea what to expect or after the divorce is finalized. I know it's tough for my parents, but I don't think they understand how it has affected me and my younger brother. Now I am 21 years old and he is 18, but it doesn't make anything easier or take away the fact that our parents aren't going to stay together (most likely).

 

My mom has stated she doesn't love my dad anymore and pretty much wants a divorce. Of course, she loves him as in he's the father of her children.

 

My dad has bluntly stated that he loves my mother more than anything and doesn't want a divorce.

 

Everything is so repetitive, I don't know what to think. I'm exhausted all the time from EVERYTHING. When I go out with my boyfriend and/or friends I somehow push out every sad feeling and act happy. I am happy minus the family thing but Lord, family is everything.

 

](*,)

 

I just feel like crawling somewhere and never leave until things settle down. I'm tired of acting like everything is okay when it's NOT. I'm tired of my parents acting like everything is okay when it's NOT. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm depressed, I'm bitter.

 

Does it get any easier?

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Yes, it does. My parents separated when I was one and got back together when I was 2.They got separated when I was 5 and they got divorced. My mom remarried when I was 6 and got divorced when I was 12. She got back together with my real father when I was 14 and they were seperated again when I was 16, and 18. They broke up for the last time when I was 24. My mom got remarried when I was 27. You do live and it DOES get better. You can not MAKE your parents happy, their marriage is their own dynamic. Does it affect the kids? You are dang right it does, even adult ones. The best thing to do it to stay out of their business and let them handle it and refuse to be pulled into the middle. You are old enough now where you can lead most of your own life and leave them to theirs. It DOES get better.

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It does take forever--there's so much discussion and negotiation that has to be done between your parents and with their lawyers, the paperwork takes a long time to draw up and review, then everything has to be revised and drawn up again, then it works its way through the system. Even a couple of years after it's final, there will be property and tax issues that come up.

 

I'm sorry. I'm sure they don't intend for this to be so stressful for you. My only words of wisdom are that if it's exhausting and all-consuming for you, know that it is exhausting and all-consuming for them as well. They are trying to figure it all out and do what is best for their relationship and your family, and it's just a very difficult situation.

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