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My ex was my best friend and he's gone..


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Life is just so boring without him and I really can't change how I feel right now. One thing I liked about my ex was that he was fun and exciting. He brought something so fun and interesting in my life. He got me into things I wasn't normally into and he brought out that exciting side of me.I remember one time we went on a date to six flags, I never got on a roller coaster in my life. He encouraged me to get on the ride and he held my hand & he sat next to me during all of the rides, because I was so scared LOL. I enjoyed myself and we had fun. He taught me & got me into so many things and he was just such a cool guy.I was pretty much a loner and a homebody but he came along a took me out on dates to parties and bars, he introduced me to his friends, we doubled dated and I got out.He was charming,funny and he was always there for me. At the time I knew he cared for me.I miss when he would call me late at night and we'd laugh and talk about everything. Now that he's gone, it's just so hard to go back to my life before he entered it Things changed and he changed and he's moved on with his life and I have to put the past behind me.

 

I go out with friends and granted I have fun and it takes my mind off things but I don't feel happy to the extent of me being with my ex. This weekend I went out with friends and it was a nice outing, shopping and movies. However I really couldn't enjoy myself. Maybe I'm growing out of my friends because I found the whole get together boring. My friends are so self absorbed, everyone talking about their relationships and their exciting lives. It really got me feeling even more down in the dumps. I was basically ready to go home. As I got home, I got home to the emptiness and usual..

 

I know one day I will be happy, It's a vent post and you can reply if you like. I'm just so lost,lonely and confused. I don't know if I'll ever find someone like my ex made me feel.. That's what scares me so bad..

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I can relate, understand. Ive been learning you shouldnt rely on anyone to make you happy, that has to come from inside you. Dont need anyone, try to get your life back together and move away from his shadow. He should just compliment your life, not be the only outlet/way for you to have fun. To have a healthy relationship you need to have lives other activities outside of one another. Work on doing things for you, and doing new things, meeting new people.

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I can't really relate as much. My ex was not "fun and exciting" The only thing we ever really did together was go to a movie on Friday nights. I don't need him to go see a darn movie though.

 

But I agree with Josh--your ex shouldn't be your only source of being able to have fun. Sometimes I still think that way--that I will never be as happy with anyone else as I was with my ex. Who knows though, maybe I'll find someone who will make me happier. And the same goes for you.

 

I know you feel lonely and confused. I do too. But...it's the uttermost truth: we can't stay in our houses all day whining about our ex, what went wrong, how he was so amazing, how there will never be anyone like him, etc.

 

You just have to get out there and enjoy life. By yourself, with friends, with family...and eventually, a new partner will come along.

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I feel the same but, like Josh, am learning we have to make ourselves happy outside of a relationship. At the same time, certain people do seem to make a deeper connection with us more than others and it can be hard to find that connection with certain friends. I love my female friends but I don't think we share the same kind of mental/emotional bond as my ex and I do. I think we are outgrowing some of our older, more immature ways of looking at things...so it's good because we're in transition!

 

I know it doesn't help too much with the day to day missing him though. I personally really relate to your break-up experience and have been following your stories more closely so I can say that in this particular situation, I think you can safely say that you were loved. I know you feel insecure and I do sometimes too. But just appreciate the love you two shared for what it is. For me, I accept the fact that I think about him so the thoughts have lost their effects. I don't push the memories away anymore, just make sure I don't dwell as much.

 

We really just have to accept that we lost our best friend and move forward from that. Although we are still responsible for making ourselves happy, losing our best friend really stinks when you come down to it. It just stinks. But we might as well make the best of it and learn to care for ourselves better, right? Sink or swim...

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I feel the exact same way as everyone about missing my soumate and best friend even after 6 months. My friends don't want to hear about it anymore bit i still need someone to talk to. If any of you want to talk about your situation please PM me.

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I totally understand this...lately I have been going places for my job that are just so beautiful and all I do is remember the good ole days. At one of my job sites I was right at the beach, beautiful day, cute shops, restaurants...and my best friend was not there with me to run in the sun, browse the stores or enjoy the seafood restaurant. Me and my ex used to go everywhere together...we used to be like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We are both in our mid 40's and to have seen us you would think we were 14 !...lol

 

I came home feeling very happy to had gone to these places for work, but very sad knowing those days will never be again.

 

We traveled alot, many road trips, bookstores, hideaway places you never knew even existed in the mountains...we had soooooooooooooooooo much fun together. He knew my likes/dislikes, what I was allergic to and would read the labels before buying me anything to eat...he always knew my size of clothes/shoes...God he knew me so so so very well....my fear is that I will never have anyone so compatible again...we could even finish each others sentences and say the same thing at the same time.

 

Sorry, but drugs can never be apart of my life so I had to say bye bye...it hurt me and still a year later I miss him, but my decision was for the best.

 

lol...I remember the day I pushed him on a sled and he ran right into the snowbank and fell over...god that was funny...I laughed until my side hurt. In the middle of night he would wake up around the same time and start telling funny jokes or how we would lay on our sides facing each other in bed talking, or read to each other.

 

The list of things go on...yes, the pain is still with me even after a year...he still wants to be together, but I have to keep telling him it will never work....I will always worry about his moods, relapses, missing for days, odd phone calls, losers he hangs with, drama, drugs, drugs, and drugs...no no no...I refuse to be his gf again in this lifetime....I have to stand firm, be true to myself, and stick to my final decision....when it's over it's over!

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Now that you've had this trip down "happy " memory lane why not toss in some balance too (my theme for today) and remember all those UNHAPPY times when let's say your ex was a sh1t to you... or in a foul mood.... or let you down... or neglected you...get the picture? If your great gig was so great you'd still be together right?

 

Sorry but IMO this sort of selective nostalgia does little to spur

our recovery.

 

If only we had as many pics taken of us when we were as UNHAPPY as when we were happy with our exes eh? ...perspective people.

 

Come to think of it I DO have some of those pics and they were from our trip down the coast aka "the trip from hell"...made me realize how you can be with someone and yet feel lonely and unloved...that's what I remember not those great memories at the beginning or middle of our relationship but the crap at the end.

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Life is just so boring without him and I really can't change how I feel right now. One thing I liked about my ex was that he was fun and exciting. He brought something so fun and interesting in my life. He got me into things I wasn't normally into and he brought out that exciting side of me....He was charming,funny and he was always there for me. At the time I knew he cared for me.I miss when he would call me late at night and we'd laugh and talk about everything. Now that he's gone, it's just so hard to go back to my life before he entered it Things changed and he changed and he's moved on with his life and I have to put the past behind me.

 

I have written this post myself and I used to feel this way myself. Sometimes I still do, but there's a saying I remind myself of:

 

You can't stand in the same river twice.

 

You won't be going back to your old life; it's impossible. You like different things and know different people than you did back then. He was not the one who brought great things into your life when you were together-- you were! He was around and introducing you to those things because some part of you wanted and needed that in your life. That part of you has opened up and been revealed to you. Now you just need to learn how to feed it yourself.

 

I'm right there with you. It's hard and it's scary and it's lonely to try and figure out what you want on your own-- with no menu of options and no waiter to bring it to you. But it's yours; it's your life and you should own it. See your great past as your past-- not his-- you brought that stuff into your life and you can do it again. It's not his and it never was.

 

Maybe you got screwed over, but part of what NC teaches us is that no new contact = no new hurt. You are just trying to deal with your old pain from one incident in your life-- the breakup. There is so much more out there for you and you will be okay as long as you learn to see the good times in your life as something that you created.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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