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Spoke to the ex for the first time in 8 months


RGV
Describe an old friend you got in c...
Describe an old friend you got in contact with again

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So Sunday I paced around my phone. I hadnt tried to contact her in so long and she had done the same. I finally built the courage to call. Her voice mail picked up and I left a message regarding how she was doing and I would like to speak to her again someday. Well an hour later she called back. I was enthusiastic but she had her normal low unhappy sounding voice that I have come accustomed to over the years. I asked how life was and she said she was not interested in telling but wanted to know what I was calling about. So I went through the whole I am sorry for the way I acted during and after the relationship. Btw, I am not the victim here. I was such a jerk any woman in their right mind would have left me....... So thing sstarted to lighten up. A few laughs here and we started to catch up. I was very careful not to cross certain boundaries. I never pried farther into what she was saying. She did say she was having a hard time finding a connection with the people she had been dating. Told me about a new job which would have her travellinging into South America quite frequently. We ended up talking for an hour and a half. I could see her starting to loosen up but then realize it and go back to being guarded. All in all it was a great talk. At the end she said it was nice getting closure and to enjoy the day.

 

So I felt like a million dollars. I still do. It was nice to talk to her. In no way was there a hint of hey lets maybe works things out. It was just 2 people reconnecting. She didnt sound like life was so much better without me like I had believed for such a long time. She did sound like her career was moving along. Funny how people grow up. I remember her when she was a sub teacher, and I was having to pay for everything.

 

So I guess what I am getting at is that a few months ago I would have broke down crying telling her how much I miss her. But I was able to keep cool. Well there were a few things that I said regarding missing her but it was still an easy going conversation.

 

I figure in another month Ill call again and take things slow in LC. Ive never given up hope and probably wont until someone pulls the life cord. So I am taking what I learned here for future steps. Wish I would have done it off the bat...... but of course like everyone else I thought begging and pleading and confessing my love was the right thing to do..... WRONG!

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... but of course like everyone else I thought begging and pleading and confessing my love was the right thing to do..... WRONG!

 

 

Now you're getting it. NO begging, pleading or 'reasoning' with women, NEVER !

 

The only tiny hope that you have to reconcile is to reinvent yourself and create a VALUABLE life without her.

You need to build and enhance all aspects of your life solely for YOUR benefit, not to impress her.

IF she does not come back because of the new you, then some other smart woman will snap you up.

 

Good luck, soldier.

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Your right... "the only tiny hope"..... still I couldnt get that woman to throw water on me if I was on fire a few months ago. So I feel pretty pretty good. No matter what the outcome. It was nice to hear her voice.

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I say give it a shot. If you want to reconcile you have to talk sooner or later. Ideally you need to get her having fun, laughing, and seeing you as she once saw you.

 

I would suggest however that if it's moving towards friendship-land you really understand what you're getting into. It can be very frustrating and painful.

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Well put just my thoughts too !

 

Now you're getting it. NO begging, pleading or 'reasoning' with women, NEVER !

 

The only tiny hope that you have to reconcile is to reinvent yourself and create a VALUABLE life without her.

You need to build and enhance all aspects of your life solely for YOUR benefit, not to impress her.

IF she does not come back because of the new you, then some other smart woman will snap you up.

 

Good luck, soldier.

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I was the dumpee. Oh boy was I pathetic. Its amazing how my whole life I was always the dumper and never really allowed anyone in. I did with her. Made my mistakes, and then paid the ultimate consequences. We did start to see each other 4 months after the breakup. Took a trip together where we told each other we loved each other. She just had a hard time letting go and I just kept pushing her. I know for a fact that if I would have backed off and given her space she would have come back. But with that said I do know that I would not have changed and old issues would have risen. So.... Im changing and exploring the world through different eyes. If someday we cross paths well then I will be as happy as can be. I will always lover her.

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Word of advice- DON'T BRING UP THE OLD RELATIONSHIP. EVER. Don't think that it will be cute to play the "let's talk about memorieeeees" cause guess what? It will backfire to you BIG TIME. Who the hell wants to remember the fights, the tears, and finally, the break up in the past? Not me.

 

Thread carefully, buddy. This could be your last shot.

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Oh I am well aware of that. Ive been helping 2 of my friends who are going through breakups. I told them to not make the same mistakes I made. So we really havent talked about old time just catching up. That was on Sunday and I will wait awhile before contacting her again. We will see.

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