Jump to content

feeling insane


confsddepresd

Recommended Posts

I feel completely and unterlly tore up.

I either just made the best or worst decision in my life.

 

If you read my other thread you know that I fell inlove with my bestfriend.

Advice I had been given by everyone on here and others in my life told me i needed speration from her.

 

I agreed with the advice. I finally got up the courage tonight to do it.

It didn't go how i had planned. I had planned to not tell her what i was doing and to just tell her i loved her and said my final goodbye.

 

But instead i told her i needed seperation and that idk if i was ever gonna talk to her again. not because i was mad but because it was nessesary.

She reacted by crying and saying your doing what my father did, just dropping out of my life. And i just told i loved her and hung up the phone.

 

Which, excuse my language, but dat makes me feel like sh*t.

I know "a girl" isnt worth killing urself over. But she's not just a girl. I feel like she's the other half of me.

 

I just dont know what to do now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This kind've made me cry a bit, because it's so sad...YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! although I've been in your place many times before. I had a girl who said she loved me, and she said she'd always be just for me, and yet she cheated on me plenty with everyone, all while maintaining her love for me.

 

it's so hard to get over it, I know, especially when you really do see that someone is the other half of you.

 

I wish I knew what to say. just know, you're not alone, and even if they're strangers, people do understand and have felt your pain.

 

I wanted to kill myself so many times this last year over her. in the end, something always stopped me. well, I hope something stops you too...because it's not worth dying over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Umlunguusa.

 

And to tell the truth lastnight i was planning to end it all.

I was so close and then my doorbell rang.

And two of my friends were standing there begging me to hang out with them.

Of course they had no idea what i was about to do.

And I tried to make excuses so i could finish the job.

But they wouldn't leave unless i went with them.

So i finally went and had one of the greastest nights of my life.

And i thought how selish could i be to take my life and leave these people with the pain of loosing a friend and possibly blaming themselves.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Umlunguusa.

 

And to tell the truth lastnight i was planning to end it all.

I was so close and then my doorbell rang.

And two of my friends were standing there begging me to hang out with them.

Of course they had no idea what i was about to do.

And I tried to make excuses so i could finish the job.

But they wouldn't leave unless i went with them.

So i finally went and had one of the greastest nights of my life.

And i thought how selish could i be to take my life and leave these people with the pain of loosing a friend and possibly blaming themselves.

 

 

This in itself should show you that there are things out there that give you joy. You are so young, why is it that you feel like you need to be with her to make your life complete?

 

Is there things in life that you want to do, can you picture yourself going to college, military, getting married, having children, seeing the world? If so than your life is not over you still see yourself as going on and doing things.

 

I agree age has nothing to do with love, I was in love really in love at 15 and when he dumped and cheated on me I felt like it was the end of my world. I tried to committ suicide, took about 200 aspirin. Didnt work made me really sick.

 

Now that im 32 married with 2 children, I find myself looking back and wondering was I really in love. Did I get the respect from him that I deserved. And to think that if I would have succeeded ending my life I wouldnt be here where Im at today.

 

Not saying that life is a breeze, its not its hard as hell, but it is def worth living.

 

Hugs coming your way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...