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After 10 weeks...


Speedbird

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To cut a long story short my long term ex ended the relationship 10 weeks ago. Taking most of the advice I was given, I went no contact. After 3 weeks there was a missed call from her so I left. A week later there was another call so thinking something was wrong I answered it. Basically all I heard was how wonderfull the new life was.

 

3 weeks later I had 5 missed calls one evening, and then when the phone rag again the following day I answered it (again thinking something was wrong). I basically flipped down the phone and gave the full what for...

 

I rang the following day just apologising and clearing the air (and honestly felt the better for it). I dropped an email to her just saying how I was going and things were for me.

 

Anyway during the past 10 weeks I have rediscovered myself, and have been the happiest I have been for quite some time. Basically doing what I really want to be doing. At the moment I am also in a casual relationship.

 

However things didn't go quite as well as I wanted with work lately, and I got this rush of emotion. I was missing my ex-partner all over again. I wanted to pick up the phone and explain what had happened. As I write this I am missing my ex like mad!

 

I am told that my ex is the person they are today because of me, but I feel I have nothing no recognition for this. The break up took all our friends and family by surprise and a few still believe it will still work (including me but time is the best healer). At this point in time though I am trying to be strong and going back to NC.

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With the amount of times she has contacted you in the same day I definitely think she has some reservations about where you two stand. No one calls that many times (unless it's an emergency), which clearly it wasn't.

 

For now, stick with NC. Be strong. Things will work out how they are supposed to.

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With the amount of times she has contacted you in the same day I definitely think she has some reservations about where you two stand. No one calls that many times (unless it's an emergency), which clearly it wasn't.

 

My thoughts exactly. But when I asked why so many missed calls, it was because she just wanted to see how things where.

 

I know from the head that if we were together I would not be were I am, and probably would not of achieved what I have in the relatively short time. But the truth is I still miss her, and would love to pick up the phone, however I know I need to be strong for any chance of us mending things...

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I'm kind of confused as to what advice you're looking for, or if you're just trying to rant?

 

You're casually seeing someone else, but you still have strong emotions for your ex. She is contacting you, yet you want to remain in NC?

 

Could you try to elaborate a little bit more on how you're feeling about the situation?

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My apologies, I meant in no way to go off in a rant if thats how it seemed. I thought I was over my ex however with things of late I have really started to miss her. Yes she has been in contact saying that we can talk, and I think the air is now clear between us, but I still have biterness deep down about the break up.

 

Because of my feelings to my ex I haven't seen this other girl for about a week now. In short I have been isolating myself trying to focus on my work for the distraction. And suprisingly my work hasn't suffered with a boss saying that is some of the best days he has seen me do.

 

Honestly I would love for us to be together again, we both made each other very happy and secure, however in hindsight we both had to go our separate ways to achieve what we had to.

 

(reading the second half of the previous post did seem like a rant so its now deleted...sorry again!)

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What's your ultimate idea of how a reconciliation would happen? To me it seems like you're trying to go the NC route for a while, get your head straight, and then approach the situation again later? If she's contacting you, why not try VERY SLOWLY to get the ball moving now? I guess that's what I don't understand...

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This is were I don't know what to do. I know that I did everything right with NC, and I got missed calls from her, and as previously mentioned the air is clear now between us. With talking her it has been almost a love/hate senario. I have wanted to talk to her, but then I would also get this rush of emotion/anger. That is why I would be tempted to go back to no contact but having already established comms again, would it push us further away?

 

To be honest you are the first person to suggest trying to get the ball moving (couldn't agree more with the very slowly part!). I guess the big worry for me there is not to upset her, or myself on the way, as stupid as it sounds.

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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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