So I'm the other man

[MushroomGod]

I'm in bad situation. I slept with this girl last night who is in a relationship with the father of her child. From what I hear he's a total jerk and not just from her but, her friends as well. The only reason she is with him is because of the baby but she is still with him. I always had a rule that I would never do this sort of thing but I did. I really like her alot. She's so much fun, smart, and simply gorgeous. I couldn't ask for any better and she's the one that chased me. We talked till the sun rose this morning. I have no idea what to do or how to go about this. I know everyone here is going to tell me to run but I don't want to. I never felt so expensive but with a girl like her it's impossible not too.

[JeckyllNHyde]

is she open to leaving him if things develope bewteen you two ?

[Jay_Bird]

take it from someone who has been through that

 

your just a fling,even if it seems like she will be with you

 

it won't happen,if that was the case,she wouldn't hide you from him

 

she would have dropped him,and got with you

 

if you fall for her,you are only going to hurt yourself

 

 

leave while its still fresh

 

I qurantee if you keep up with this,you will regrect it

[KG]

Will she leave him for you? That's the bottom line.

[MushroomGod]

is she open to leaving him if things develope bewteen you two ?

 

I have no idea.

[agent1607307371]

Well just because she slept with you doesn't mean she's going to leave him.

 

I think you need to back off and find out if that's going to happen. Because if he's as much a jerk as you've been told he is, do you really want him coming after you?

[MushroomGod]

Well just because she slept with you doesn't mean she's going to leave him.

 

I think you need to back off and find out if that's going to happen. Because if he's as much a jerk as you've been told he is, do you really want him coming after you?

 

A piece of advice I got was that baggage is one thing but baggage that can come kick your ass is another.

[MushroomGod]

Will she leave him for you? That's the bottom line.

 

It's also sticky because they live together.

[KG]

It's also sticky because they live together.

 

She has free will. Just don't become a fling....or an obit.

[Jay_Bird]

It's also sticky because they live together.

 

 

been through it

 

your just a fling.......your going to regrect this if you stick around dude.....

 

 

I know your conscience is telling you this is not right

 

if you just think deep within yourself...and you got that feeling this is not right.....then you need to listen to that and walk away from this situation

 

I wish I would have listen to that inside voice

[itsallgrand]

This may come accross crude but while lying in bed with her, I'd be thinking of that kid at home crying while dude-o is walking around the house fixing the kid's dinner in his underpants.

 

Yeah, that would be enough to put the fire out cold. Maybe I just think too much, but those thoughts would be nagging at me something fierce.

[DN]

So she cheats on her partner with you. She says he is a jerk and he must be because her friends say he is as well. Well, I am not surpised that they do - after all, they get their information from her and have a natural bias.

 

Presumably there is some thought that maybe she will leave him and go with you. And when you have a disagreement or two and she tells her friends you are a jerk too she will probably say the same thing to some other guy that she chases after as an excuse to cheat on you with him.

 

All you really know for sure about this girl is that she cheats.

[Hope75]

The only reason she is with him is because of the baby but she is still with him.

 

You my friend have fallen for the oldest lie in the book.

 

She is with him because she wants to be there, and because she is having her cake and eating it too.

 

Do you really want to be with a girl who has no morals and no problem cheating on her partner? She is setting a great example for her child. Next time it will be you who gets cheated on.

 

You were dead on when you said we'd tell you to run for the hills.

[jengh]

You my friend have fallen for the oldest lie in the book.

 

She is with him because she wants to be there, and because she is having her cake and eating it too.

 

Do you really want to be with a girl who has no morals and no problem cheating on her partner? She is setting a great example for her child. Next time it will be you who gets cheated on.

 

You were dead on when you said we'd tell you to run for the hills.

 

Wow, yeah...couldn't agree more. Exactly what I would've said.

[JeckyllNHyde]

It's also sticky because they live together.

 

Yea, but obviously if they're living together they're probably having sex too and doing other couple things. Doesn't look good.

Now if they where merely in contact... then it might be a bit different.

[Jay_Bird]

Yea, but obviously if they're living together they're probably having sex too and doing other couple things. Doesn't look good.

Now if they where merely in contact... then it might be a bit different.

 

yep

 

if they living together you know they are having sex or at least kissing

 

I doubt they are in the house together and not touching each other or sleeping in separate beds

 

thats why I'm saying this guy is a fling,for her boredom

 

right now she is bored,but she is not going to leave that guy

 

she bascially told him without telling him,she is not leaving him

 

"cause of the baby"

 

thats aka..........I'm not leaving him.....but I'm going to have my cake and eat it too with you

[Crazyaboutdogs]

and a cheater!

 

Doesn't matter how fun, smart and gorgeous she is....her negatives are the following

1) disloyal

2) dishonest

3) deceitful

4) lacking integrity

 

There are lots of very smart and successful people out there...but if they are cheaters then they are not good bets for a relationship.

[DelG]

take it from someone who has been through that

 

your just a fling,even if it seems like she will be with you

 

it won't happen,if that was the case,she wouldn't hide you from him

 

she would have dropped him,and got with you

 

if you fall for her,you are only going to hurt yourself

 

 

leave while its still fresh

 

I qurantee if you keep up with this,you will regrect it

 

I cant Ask you enough to listen to this advice!! I have been through it too, its a world of pain, misjudgements, loneliness and its just ill advised.

You will miss out on so much and SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIM FOR YOU. Cut her out of your life and move on. I lost so much through doing this and now I regret it all and actually truth be told she was nothing that I had made her up to be.. See my post her about:

 

 

Please leave her alone and get over it all...start now.. make it happen.

This Girl told me all about how her husband was a punk etc etc...and you know what? Now she is happily having his baby!! Girls like this are just losers and users!! Move on my friend/

 

Jason

[Trip McNealy]

Been in the same exact situation. She wont leave him.

[NightLily]

If you were a woman, I'm pretty sure you would hear "Don't trust him! He is lying when he says he is going to leave his wife/girlfriend. They are living together and have children!"

 

I'd think you can apply that to yourself as well.

[heloladies21]

I've told my gf on occasion that if she was attached when I met her, I would've done my best to pull her away. Dating is not a team sport (unless you have people working for you who are openly on your side).

 

I make no judgment of this girl as a cheater because of how she treats this guy, she will only cheat on you if you personally don't give her what she needs.

[Kantriakhor]

I've told my gf on occasion that if she was attached when I met her, I would've done my best to pull her away. Dating is not a team sport (unless you have people working for you who are openly on your side).

 

I make no judgment of this girl as a cheater because of how she treats this guy, she will only cheat on you if you personally don't give her what she needs.

 

I'll ignore the first part.

 

 

 

Cheaters cheat for many reasons but unless the reasons surrounding her cheating ways are resolved, she will cheat again. Currently she's using the pyramid scheme. When her man and life begins to grow troubling she jumps to the OP for an escape and then, with the pressure relieved, will go back to her real life.

 

If things were as awful as she makes it out to be then she'd be out of there or at least filed for divorce. This isn't to say everything is rosy but she's simply using you and if she were to leave her current guy there's no guarantee she wouldn't find a new "release valve" if you become her new "main" relationship because you don't know exactly why she's straying but it's clear that she only sees you as an affair, not a relationship.

[Nutz]

You're either a fling, or she's lining up a new daddy before cutting the current guy lose.

[girl68]

One of 3 things will happen:

 

1) she leaved him for you- wonderful! Right? Nope, goodluck dealing with "daddy" as well as have fun playing the new daddy! Aren't you a bit young for that responsibility?

 

2) you remain the other guy forever, you're a dirty little secret... sounds fun hun? Sure, at first- it will lose it's appeal fast. After that you're in for years of wishing, hoping and heartbreak.

 

3) cut her lose, you get over it, move on find a nice, pretty, sweet, caring gal who doesn't have no baby's daddy shacking up with her. You live happily ever after...

 

hmmmm I wonder?

 

My prediction: you continue with option 2 while hoping for option 1 but realize far to late option 3 was the best.

[MushroomGod]

You know what I don't think I'm falling for her. If it's a fling then whatever, I'll keep the mindset that it is what it is.