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Hey guys,Im 16 years old and have a huge crush on my teacher.Im totally gay but I'm not out to anyone. It all started about a year ago,the first day of his class I was early and walked in before anyone else had arrived.I remember it was just me and him,I remember thinking that he was really cute,but nothing more.He said hi and I said hi back and things were pretty normal.Until class started,he was more reserved than other teachers and only talked when necessary about english or what not,this is kind of a turn on for me as I am usually very talkative and enjoy being with the opposite of myself.Every now and then he would stare at me and I would stare back just thinking that he isn't really staring at me and that he's probably staring at someone/something else.It later occurred to me that he was staring at me a lot.I started to think he liked me,and was looking for evidence of him being gay/bi.I noticed he had a lot of sports posters up all around his room,which to me means that he's probably straight.Though I might be wrong about that.Next I noticed his partialness (is that a real word?)to guys rather than girls.So that was further evidence that he was gay/bi,at least in my mind.For a while the staring continued almost everyday,along with slight brushes while he passed back papers or something like that.I was really starting to like him and my crush on him grew bigger and bigger.About 2 months later,I noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring.My first thought was damn,he's straight.Then the thought passed my mind that he might be married to a gay guy.I continue to flirt with him everytime I see him but I'm just not sure of his sexuality.And since he is very shy about personal matters that makes it that much harder to tell which he is.I know that I have the "crush veil" over me and that I might be seeing things that aren't necessarily there.But what should I do?Should I talk to him or just forget all about him?I'm so confused...

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Hi and welcome to enotalone. If you are 16 years old, it does not matter how you define your sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc) if this is a TEACHER then I think you should forget about him and stay away.

 

You need to focus on people your own age and have some normal teenage experiences with your peers.

 

 

You are a young student and he is in a position of power and influence over your educational future. If he flirts or shows romantic interest, he would be a slimeball. If he acts on anything with you, he will likely (and hopefully) lose his job.

 

It's normal to crush on a teacher, or to find one attractive- but it's not normal or healthy for the fantasy crush to be acted on in reality. Situations like this are like playing with fire.

 

Ask yourself what about him you find attractive and look for those same qualities in a person closer to your own age and without the legal implications.

 

Bella

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You are right Bella,I know that there is no way in hell that anything would happen.I'm crushed on him sure,but wanting to do anything is fantasy.I would talk to him only to find out if what I'm noticing is true.

 

There are also plenty of guys my age that i'm totally into,like one of my best friends I seriously think might be gay,but then like my teacher he has alot of straight evidence and tendencies too.

What do you think I should say to my friend to find out if he's gay or not?

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You are right Bella,I know that there is no way in hell that anything would happen.I'm crushed on him sure,but wanting to do anything is fantasy.I would talk to him only to find out if what I'm noticing is true.

 

There are also plenty of guys my age that i'm totally into,like one of my best friends I seriously think might be gay,but then like my teacher he has alot of straight evidence and tendencies too.

What do you think I should say to my friend to find out if he's gay or not?

 

Rule 1 in the LGBT world: NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!

 

Anyone could be gay and anyone could be straight, regardless of the way that they act. There is no sure fire way to tell. you are making wild assumptions about a person that you hardly know just because of the way he acts and because you are attracted to him.

 

If he is married chances are that he is straight, but just the fact that he is a teacher should be enough reason for you to stop persueing him. Also, he is so much older than you! you are 16 and you have your whole life ahead of you! Why waste your time obsessing about a teacher??

 

Anyway, i just hope you do the right thing

good luck!

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What do you think I should say to my friend to find out if he's gay or not?

 

My favourite at the moment is "Hey, you haven't told me yet, do you have a girlfriend?" - ask with a smile, and take careful note of his lips and eyes to detect stress.

 

if answer==yes:

bummer.

else:

ask: "Really?" *fake surprise* "So, do you have a boyfriend then?" *still smiling, in a semi-teasing voice. This leaves the room for this to pass off as polite banter between two straight buds, but if he blushes, eyes dart, lips twitch, and stammers a response, or murmurs no, and becomes interested in his shoelaces or fingernail, then there's scope for proceeding further.

 

Hope this helps

 

edit: If he says no loud, punches you in the face and runs off, it means he is straight, but has some bi feelings which scare him, and he isn't comfortable with it. In this case, back off.

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How to Tell If Your Classmate Has a...
How to Tell If Your Classmate Has a Crush on You

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