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How do I talk to my bf about improving our sex life?


lovinglady
5 Red Flags In Relationships
5 Red Flags In Relationships

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I am new to this site and hope to get some good advice. Please forgive the length of this post! I am in a fairly new relationship (about 2 months). We waited 6 weeks before being intimate with each other, and fell in love first. I am in my mid-forties and he is 39. The first time we were together, it was all oral, and for me, it was great! He made sure he pleased me and seemed very enthusiastic and happy to do so. He had not been with a woman in several months, so his climax happened very quickly. He seemed a little embarrassed about it, but kinda brushed it off, so I did too. We have had sex 3 times since then, and every time, he came rather quickly and then it was all over, no climax for me. He has been working a LOT of crazy hours and was also sick, so I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just tired and distracted. But I don't want this to become a habit for us either. I read a similar thread here from someone else, and everyone just advised her to be patient, to communicate, etc. I saw no definite advice on good ways to approach the subject without making him feel bad or defensive. I love this guy and don't want to hurt him. I genuinely want us to have a satisfying sex life. Any words of advice out there?

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Well bringing the subject up can be touchy, he may start to feel insecure which can cause the unintentional quickie to happen again.

 

My suggestion would be to minimize the foreplay with him. IE dont touch him down there at all prior to sex. No point getting him all revved up so that hes ready to go as soon as you start having sex.

 

It also cant hurt to tell him ahead of time that you want him later... so why dont he get off now that way he isnt too eager later. He shouldnt take this as a slap to his manhood... all guys understand the fact that if you havent gotten off recently then when you do have sex its going to be a lot easier/ faster to get off when you do. Round 2 is always harder to come by. Also use a LOT of lube... reduces friction... which makes a guy last longer.

 

If you want to actually discuss this with him... youre on your own.. Im not sure how to really breach that one.

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The best way is to tell him how much you enjoyed each and every thing you did enjoy and not mention anything you didn't enjoy.

 

Example: "I really liked it when you ________ and I'm pretty sure I'd really like it if you _______ (could be something he already did or something new)."

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The best way is to tell him how much you enjoyed each and every thing you did enjoy and not mention anything you didn't enjoy.

 

Example: "I really liked it when you ________ and I'm pretty sure I'd really like it if you _______ (could be something he already did or something new)."

 

I agree...focus on the good, not the bad.

 

And, he knows he's finishing fast, is probably very nervous about it.

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