What should i do?

[law059]

Iv been in a relationship with another woman for almost 2 years. Unfortunately she is married but says shes not in love with her husband anymore. She told him she was leaving him for me but when she found us a place to live etc.. she changed her mind and dumped me. She says she still loves me and misses me but cant continue our relationship. I still love her to bits and knowing she feels the same way is tearing me to pieces. Does anyone have any advice on what i should do??

[DN]

Yes, walk away. She is cheating on her husband with you and has shown herself to have low morals and ethics. If she was unhappy she should have left him, certainly nor cheated on him. She is using him, probably for financial reasons and has used you.

 

Not a good woman to be involved with.

[unabashed]

Did she leave her husband and then break up with you? Or, did she decide to stay with her husband? I guess either way, the only thing you can do is move on. This is one situation where I would agree that no contact makes sense. Boundaries are already compromised if both of you were willing to have a relationship while she was married. If she is still with her husband, there isn't any reason to remain in contact with her. I was in a similar situation and the only way I could move on was to stop contact and get some counseling for myself.

 

I have seen many situations where, in the end, a woman felt she just couldn't leave the marriage. I wouldn't be so quick to judge her--it isn't so easy to figure out how to deal with coming out while in a marriage. Unfortunately, many people use an affair to avoid dealing directly with issues at the end of a marriage.