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tashiri

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I realize it's not a big deal, in five years no-one will give a * * * * . But it hurts NOW. He doesn't want me to meet his family because they will NOT understand. I can't meet his friends because they'll mention it to their parents who happen to be HIS parents best friends'.

 

We're in different places. I don't know if I want children, I think 27 is a nice age to get married - he wants children and wants to get married before he is 30.

 

We click, we do. He's working in a bank, I graduate with my BA end of next year. I think he's the one.

 

But what if I'm just being a dumb eighteen-year-old? I feel like I KNOW, but - let's get real. Let's be cynical and truthful and harsh.

 

What if I get GIG syndrome one day? What if his parents disapprove (the projected age of meeting is 21)?

 

I honestly am so lost.

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I know this is a bit of a weak reply, but I think that he needs to stop being ... self-conscious, about your age. If it's that much of a problem for him, then on some level he feels that there's a problem with dating an 18yo.

 

TBH, as a 19yo guy, my "ceiling" would be 26, and while it is a substantial difference between you two, it's not creepy or anything, there's just a risk that you are at different stages in your life as far as goals, careers, future family etc go.

 

If he needs children and a wife in the next two years, and you aren't sure that's what you want, then you may just be incompatible, and I guess if that's the case you'll have to work out where to go from here.

 

That's the problem with love - there are still logistical/practical issues that can cause problems...

What do you think?

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I agree...if he acts like there's something wrong with it, then he probably knows there is. I know you guys feel like you "click," but all of the differences that you've mentioned are not going to go away anytime soon. Even though it's a 8 year age gap (and depending on who you ask, they might not think that that's much), he's in a totally different stage of his life than you and will be for awhile. I don't want to be discouraging, but I would urge you to rethink this relationship. Many (not all) of such relationships are more about insecurity and control than love. I hope that's not the case with you, but be vigilant to see to it that you are not being taken advantage of.....

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