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Extremely embarrassed after incident with GF - how do I get over it?


nonameguy

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I know it's easy to mock me about this - but that's kind of the reason I ask this question here. So here I go:

 

I have a beautiful, sweet, sexy girlfriend and I am very happy with her in every way. She is a black belt in a martial art though. To make a long story short the other week I play wrestled with her a bit - just out of curiosity of what she could do with her martial arts techniques. And I got my ass handed to me!

 

I am 181 cm weighing 81 kgs – and I work out several times a week and I’m a strong guy. My girlfriend is as feminine and nice as any girl, and is 166 cm and weighs about 55 kg (and a little younger than me). I realize now that I was naive, underestimated her and that I had some subconscious macho attitude – but fact is I never would have thought that my girlfriend could take a guy down like me, even though I of course knew she was a black belt. For a couple of minutes I was doing my best to wrestle her down, but she just put me on the ground again and again as if I weighed nothing, and put me in some crazy holds I couldn't get out of!

 

I think it’s so cool that she has these skills, BUT: this was also the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me – by far. I don’t want to feel that way, but I do. I guess it was just too much for my ego. Her martial art was basically created so that a smaller person would be able to beat a bigger and stronger one. I understand that now and I admire her skills, but I still can’t help feeling embarrassed. I'm so much bigger and stronger than her - and she's a girl!

 

How do I get over this? Considering that she is a black belt maybe I shouldn't even be embarrassed - but I really am.

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LOL. GO girl!

 

I think you should be proud that your GF can kick ass, and that she could protect you in a bar fight. ;-P

 

Ok, no...I think you shouldn't be ashamed at all. She's trained for YEARS to achieve her level of skill, and she probably LOVES it that she was able to take you down. No way will she think you're less masculine or tough.

 

Maybe you could start taking a martial art class, too?

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hi - i don't think you should be embarrassed. (she didn't do this in front of your friends, right?) she has a skill, a knowledge, and she is able to use it. i think it's cool that she can do that and defend herself in case some stranger comes up to her in a dark alley.

 

i think if you had a black belt too, she would stand no chance against you. maybe time to take some lessons?

 

PS - reminds of what my ex-bf used to say.... "it's cool when your gf knows how to kickbox.... so long as she isn't any good."

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I know a guy who is pretty well- trained in combatives and he said that he was taken out by a female before. Even with his size and strength advantage plus his skills, her skills still beat him. And I also know another girl who is a wrestler. Not a big girl at all; very lean and in shape. And she also beat all the guys she went up against in our introductory combatives class... and all those guys were also in shape. So you are not alone. Training and skills can beat size and strength; its just the way it is. Nothing to do with you or anything you should be embarrassed about!

 

Besides, if a person with a black belt can be whipped by a person completely untrained simply because that person is bigger and stronger, then what would be the point in getting a black belt right?

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Besides, if a person with a black belt can be whipped by a person completely untrained simply because that person is bigger and stronger, then what would be the point in getting a black belt right?

 

A 3-pointer for alli!

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Am no martial arts expert, but was a wrestler, and do know that the kind of martial art you are describing trains to respond defensively to the standard aggressive actions of an attacker. You were probably falling right into her wheelhouse by extending your limbs and weight into her power zone so that she could use them against you. If you do it again, be more conservative and make her go on the offensive. Many martial arts break down in effectiveness when they are forced to turn aggressive.

 

But you are one lucky man! Have never had a kickass GF who had enough dedication to achieve something like that, it's a sign of strong character.

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It's not like martial arts has much bearing in real world fights. You could go get yourself a concealed weapons license or start carrying a knife, but it seems the problem arises not from your own lack of combat skills but of your girlfriend's plethora of the same. I don't know if if she knew that you carry a firearm she'd be impressed or if you'd feel on par with her, but it's a suggestion. You could always take classes as some others have said or you could find an activity that you can crush her at (e.g. drinking). Unless she's Irish. In which case you'll have no chance at fighting OR drinking. Just find some form of competitive activity that you can beat her at as easily as she can beat you in hand to hand combat.

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I wouldn't worry too much about it. In fact, my boyfriend kind of loves the fact I whip his ass in Rock Band, so you should be proud of your girl's skills. Maybe you can use that as a way to "get back at her" in other circumstances, if you know what I mean...

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