Why do I still love him damn it...

[vanbutterfly]

In brief : We got together when I was 17, he was 23. First lovers, first everything basically. We were together for 5 years. He was everything to me, but I wanted to be with him more than he wanted to be with me. We lived together for In the last year we were on and off, my decision. I wasn't happy. When I started working I met people who were more like me. Last year I broke it off with him finally, and moved out (I met another guy). My ex started a relationship with the receptionist at his work, and got engaged to her 9 months later. He gets married to her in SEP this year.

I wanted to get back with him after I moved out, and he said no. (serves me right, i know).

Why on earth do I still miss him and get upset over him. Shouldn't I be over him(to the extend that I don't cry anymore whenever I think about him)?

I just don't understand how he can be so happy to get engaged with some girl that cheated on her fiance with my ex. And I don't even know why I even care.(Apart from the fact that I love him still, and probably always will unfortunately).

[kamurj]

I kind of know how you feel.

 

I wasn't with my ex for as long as you. Being together for 5 years a huge amount of time. So, you made a mistake by leaving him in the fifth year.

 

And now he won't take you back.

 

Nad now he is marrying this woman he just met 9 months ago.

 

I had a similar experience. All I can come up with is that the guy felt abandoned when I could just leave like that. I didn't mean to make him feel abandoned but I was hurt too.

 

So, now all I can think of is that he wants to latch onto someone, anyone, in the hopes that they'll never leave him the way you left him.

 

I hope some guys have their opinions to add.

 

And the thing is, I wouldv'e been the most faithful girlfriend in the world to him. ANd you were probably the most faithful girlfriend in the world to him to.

 

But when people frustrate me sometimes, I usually try to get my space and he may have interpreted that as abandonment. I would never abandon someone if they truly needed me. I'm not like that.

 

I do not know how well my experience matches up to yours but it strikes a cord in me.

 

Yuna

[Ignacio]

Hi vanbutterfly,

 

I suggest you call him and tell him all about what you feel. Be totally honest and let him see what he is losing. He will then have to make up his mind. The worst thing that can happen is for him to say 'no', but he will not say 'yes' without knowing what you feel anyway, so give him and yourself the chance.

[UFGIRL]

Hello vanbutterfly,

I realize it has been over a month since you posted your message, but I want to let you know from personal experience that time does help. It may take a long time, but each day gets better. My scenario is a lot like yours. I started dating a guy who was 29 when I was 19, he was going through a divorce, but I felt what we had was special.We dated for 3 years and he went back into the military, but we had talked about me moving with him. Then he goes on a military assignment -flies me out to see him only to tell me that he is not attracted to me anymore. Come to find out he met someone while he was away, this was May and now they plan to get married in two months. But what hurts the most is how someone can promise you the world and you pay your due time in the relationship and someone else steps in and grabs that engagement ring that you had worked for the last few years. But for me everyday gets better and I've found there are some amazing guys out there who can give you the world, so hang in there and know that there are people who are going through the same scenario. I wish you the best