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I can't believe this is happening to me.


I have a beautiful loving new girlfriend. I'm actually starting to feel connected to her... and then this.


There's no explanation, I just loose or have a hard time gaining an erection.


This has only happened to me once before during my first sexual encounter in life. Since then I've had several very sexually active relationships where my libido could not be stopped.


Now, at 25 years of age, I just can't keep an erection.


I'm thinking it may be psychological, that an initial experience of impotence with my girl has now started a cycle of anxiety.


Regardless how it started, I have no idea how to solve it.


I don't know what to do.

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I'm on no medications.


No recent events or possible injuries.


Work is actually less stressful than usual.


I don't engage in any illicit drug use or alcohol abuse.


I've tried both avoiding and engaging in regular masturbation (which I can still do).


I just don't know what to do.

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What worked best for me was not to care or worry about whether I got an erection.


I just focused on having fun. I bet there are a lot of things you wouldn't mind doing that don't depend on your ability to stay hard.


You have to actually mean it though if you try that approach. If you are kidding yourself, you still won't get it up.

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I agree with Cardinal; what's essential is to take the emotional pressure off it.

Don't make the erection your goal - just enjoy your beautiful girlfriend; enjoy sensation with your whole body. If you get hard, enjoy it while it's there, and if it goes away, then let it go away for a bit - it's ok, it's natural.

(And you can find other fun ways to occupy yourselves in the meantime... I'm sure she wouldn't say no to some alternative stimulation methods... prowrr)


I know how frustrating cyclical anxiety can be in bed - it probably doesn't help that she's a new girlfriend and you likely want to impress her...


This kind of problem won't last forever; the longer you guys are together the more trust you will both build.


(Then you won't have to be freaking out thinking " * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * " when you can't get hard and "crap-don'tloseitdon'tloseitdon'tloseit" when you finally can.)

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Get your blood pressure checked, a diabetes screening and an allergy test first off, good ideas to do anyway.


It's amazing what kind of stuff can cause temporary ED. Personally, for me it's alcohol, and not abuse of such. Has been the same my whole life, and actually has kept me out of lots of trouble, blessing and curse. One or two drinks can turn willy completely off, or make him into a he-man, it's a coin toss. You may have a similar environmental problem.


Have seen studies as bizarre as suggesting certain kinds of plastics can cause it, and ingredients in certain deodorants.


High blood pressure and allergies are commonly overlooked causes though, and as others say, it's usually temporary.


When you go to the checkup, tell your GP and ask if he has any sample packs of blue pills. If it's psychological, getting one good session in can really turn things around in your mind. I don't have a prescription, but always have a sample pack around for those first times when performance anxiety is highest and environmental factors may be spontaneous, it's late, your tired, whatever. Best wishes.

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I think one of the issues is that my new girlfriend really isn't into oral. In the past I would perform oral on the girl to at least feel like I was doing my part and probably take off the pressure of not having intercourse.


I believe another problem is that I'm used to having to work towards it, getting my partner to be there with me, but with my girl now she is as she describes "simple". She can get right down to business. Which is definitely a different rhythm than what I'm used to.


This is killing me. She is so attractive and I so want to, I'm just not getting any cooperation down stairs.

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