VTR-RC51 Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I really don't know how to shake this feeling of loneliness.. I live on my own, I have a cute friendly dog. I have a decent job, I have good friends and family...yet I feel LONELY! I'm 30, and I've been single for 9 months. This is the longest I've ever been single. Recently found out the ex has a new BF. I am over her, but it is always hard to hear your ex has beat you to it and has found someone else. I don't feel happy...I mean there are times when I'm talking to friends, I can just squeeze in a little laugh...but overall, it's a very gloomy feeling I have. Sitting at home, watching TV. No one to share life with...maybe that's my problem. This has been going on for months now...and no matter how busy I keep myself, no matter how much I go out, I always end up home, alone. Just needed to vent... Link to comment
Sn0man Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I've been single (more or less) for 5 years. Try that on for size!! If you are feeling this way all the time, yet are keeping yourself busy and spending time with friends, you may have a problem with depression. Have you given that any thought? It took me years of feeling that way to figure out I had it. No shame in it. Link to comment
Siberia Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Hey VTR-RC51 (Sounds like the name of an asteriod Have you tried dating? Do you have passions and hobbies outside of work? Link to comment
VTR-RC51 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 I've been single (more or less) for 5 years. Try that on for size!! If you are feeling this way all the time, yet are keeping yourself busy and spending time with friends, you may have a problem with depression. Have you given that any thought? It took me years of feeling that way to figure out I had it. No shame in it. How do you do it? I know that in order to truly be happy, you must first be happy with oneself...It just feels like I can't travel this road alone...and thats my problem.. I've thought about depression...it doesn't hit me as often, but I know it is there. And it usually rears it's ugly face when I'm home, alone... Link to comment
VTR-RC51 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 Hey VTR-RC51 (Sounds like the name of an asteriod Have you tried dating? Do you have passions and hobbies outside of work? VTR-RC51 is actually a model of a motorcycle that I've wanted for years. Can't justify the purchase. I teach part time motorcycle basics, which I find to be quite fulfilling...yet this feeling still persists. I have dated 1 women...who I felt wasn't someone I could be with, thus ended it. That was months ago. Since then, I have not really dated anyone. I work a lot, and I teach, it keeps me pretty busy, almost to the point where I have no real time to get out and find a date. Online dating, hasn't really been working for me. I have met someone online who I seem to have a deeper connection with, but I have my doubts and we are separated by about 2000 miles. Link to comment
Wolf_22 Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Recently found out the ex has a new BF. I am over her, but it is always hard to hear your ex has beat you to it and has found someone else. Always remember that no human takes the same steps in life. People think differently, feel differently, and act differently about every single thing. So to that end, just because she found someone else quicker than you have means absolutely nothing. It's completely irrelevant to the situation. It doesn't mean you're unattractive. It doesn't mean you're nuts. It doesn't mean you were out of her league or that your getting fat or whatever... It just means she happen to find someone before you. That's all. Okay, I'm getting off this empty Dove cardboard box... Link to comment
Sn0man Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 How do you do it? I know that in order to truly be happy, you must first be happy with oneself...It just feels like I can't travel this road alone...and thats my problem.. I've thought about depression...it doesn't hit me as often, but I know it is there. And it usually rears it's ugly face when I'm home, alone... I do it by reminding myself that i'd rather be single and sometimes lonely, than committed and unhappy. I refuse to settle for anyone just for the sake of having someone there. If you know depression is a problem for you, why not get treatment? I was on Effexor XL for two years - it helped. Though, I don't reccommend Effexor, it's very addictive. At least talk to your doctor, he'll be able to help you get out of this slump. Link to comment
Siberia Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Hey, Being lonely for a prolonged time itself can be a source of unhappiness, and it is very natural that you feel this way, isolated and unfulfilled, waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to arrive on the scene, etc. From what you've said, you are a very busy person, so the problem is not so much about keeping yourself busy, but finding the right person to share this busy life with Do you think it will help if you took more time out of your life to meet people and go on dates? So far work and teaching have been your priority, and they probably dominate all your time. But what if you took some time every week to actually go on dates or meet people in your own city/town, and even if it doesn't throw up the right person immediately, at least increases your chances of doing so..Your isolation in many ways seems self-perpetuating. There seems to be an enclosure around you, and there is no way a new person can find way into your life..no? Link to comment
VTR-RC51 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 Hey, Your isolation in many ways seems self-perpetuating. There seems to be an enclosure around you, and there is no way a new person can find way into your life..no? That is very true. However I find it difficult to meet anyone even if I was to take time off, anyone of substance anyway. Thus, I keep myself busy to try and avoid the loneliness, which obviously isn't helping much. Maybe it's just a numbers game...I don't have much experience with dating. My past relationships have been mostly setups, friends of a friend type affairs. Link to comment
Siberia Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Yes I know. It is difficult for people like us who are not into the "dating" scene. Finding a travel group and going off to a place on map you have always wanted to but never did, can help..just a suggestion..it will break a pattern..once you are back..life will be different..I've seen that happen Link to comment
VTR-RC51 Posted April 25, 2009 Author Share Posted April 25, 2009 ^^ I think that is exactly what I need. A break from this monotonous cycle... Thanks for all your support! Link to comment
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