Girls, do you let a guy pay for you?

[MikeyD]

So I finally bit the bullet and asked a girl I've been getting to know out, well sort of. We were talking about our type of person we like and we practically were saying the same thing. So we keep on talking and everything is going great and she tells me about some of her past relationships and how practically no guy takes her out. Then I go maybe one of these days I'll take u out and she said "yea I'd go out wit u" (yay I got so giddy). But then she said "I'd have to wait till I get this job because I don't like ppl paying for me" in which I said "wait for us to go out" and she said yea. Do you think that the whole not wanting a guy to pay for her is a BS excuse to say no? She did tell me about the job, that she has to wait for them to give her the training day (she technically has the job).

[jengh]

I don't necessarily think she's BSing you. I've said this to guys because I genuinely don't have money and I always offer to pay my share. I'd just say, "Let's go out to dinner" and if she drops the money excuse, tell her you're paying.

[keenan]

I don't think it's a BS answer either. I think she's trying to say that she doesn't expect you to pay--that she doesn't assume that just because you're a guy you'll be happy to pay for her. Why don't you just ask her out and say, "Hey, it's my treat"?

[astromantic]

I also think that might not be a BS answer. I also prefer being able to pay for myself and with money sitting in my wallet so my offer doesn't seem so empty. I always prefer going dutch but again, each girl is different. I've always been able to pay for myself and probably always will. I back down if a guy insists but if he's willing to accept I have no problems paying my share.

[Binoo]

Sounds like she just doesn't want to be rude in expecting you to pay her share.

I would say something quite similar if I wasn't able to afford my own dinner.

But, I think you should offer to pay her half if you're comfortable with that.

[yeawutever]

No why would it be BS?? All she is trying to say is that she just doesn't want the guy to be paying her all the time just for being a guy, why should he anyways??

 

I think it should be 50/50 and the one doing the invitation gets to pay for that person.

[chickidee23]

I also don't like it when guys pay for me. I don't want the guy to think I'm using him for something and I also like any guy I'm dating to know I can and will take care of myself. I usually will start allowing them to pay once things get more comfortable between us. But I will also pay half of the time. I am an independent girl and always will be. It sounds like you've found yourself one, too! It's a good thing, trust me.

[laisla]

i have said that before and it was not BS.

but i have also said it to guys i have liked but was not SOOOOOO into.

[sparkles4]

Letting the guy pay makes me feel uncomfortable, because I feel like I'm mooching, and because some guys tend to expect something in return for their investment, if you know what I mean. I'll always offer to pay for myself on dates. If a guy is really, really adamant about paying, I'm not going to argue with him over it, but I do prefer to pay for myself.

[MikeyD]

I didn't think it was BS because everything seemed so genuine. Also, I've always heard that whoever initiates the date, they are the ones that pays for it. (Plus, I insisted in paying).

[shikashika]

It seems genuine to me.

 

when every i go out with friends/ family or dates, we always take turns paying, however, i would feel very guilty if someone would take me out and I had no means to repay him.

 

I don't mind someone paying for me, as long as I know i'll have a chance to pay for him/ her at some point in the near future.

[MikeyD]

Thanks girls, really. I thought it was pretty genuine but I'm bad when it comes to these things.

[amystar]

I agree with everyone else on here as well. Just tell her that you are picking up the tab on this one. I don't think she is BSing you at all.

 

To be honest with you though, I usually let the guy pay on the first date. If there are more dates after that, I always offer to pay unless he really insists on it. I think it just depends from person to person. Good Luck with the date

[ghost69]

tell her straight up, 'i want to take you out to _____.' say it's your treat. if she says, 'no no, i don't want you paying' tell her 'bs, we are going.' then gauge how she is on that date.

[l9grl]

There are lots of free things you can do on a date. Find out what is going on in your community, there are usually plenty of free events this time of year, and call her up and invite her.

 

You could also invite her to go for a bike ride, a walk, a hike, etc.

 

Take money out of the equation, and see if she says yes.