hopefulseven Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Okay, so I've posted here a couple times, and you can check out my earlier threads if you need background. It's been an uneventful while, with some amount of personal growth, but now I've got a new plan, and I need some advice. I'm moving to the city that she lives in when Fall comes around. I'm going there to go back to school, and get started in a career. Originally I wanted to see her, have her in my life as friends or whatever, but now I don't think so anymore. I still want her back, but I can't pretend to be "just friends" while trying to make that happen. So my new plan involves telling her how I feel, and putting the ball in her court. I want to tell her that I love her, and that I don't think we can be friends, but that if she ever wants to get to know the person that I am now that my heart is always open to her. This sounds more emotional and less reasonable in text. What do you guys think? If I agree to be "friends," it's a position I'll probably never be able to get back out of. If I lay out my position, she may never ever want to see me again. Help! Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Why not move first and then ask her out on a date? Link to comment
hopefulseven Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Oh, I should have mentioned that she's in love with another dude now. Sorry. Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Is her current relationship likely to last? Link to comment
hopefulseven Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Not sure. She's long-distance with this younger guy. It could conceivably last, but it might not. Regardless, I'm better for her than this guy. Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 It's great that you have good self-esteem, but how do you KNOW you're better for her? I mean, maybe she needs to learn a few things the hard way at this point in her life. Link to comment
justletgo07 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Honestly, if there's another guy, I'd just leave it be for now. You don't want to create any issues in her relationship with the other guy. No matter how that would play out, it wouldn't bode well for you. It's not appropriate to tell her that you still have feelings for her while she is with someone else. Respect her current relationship, and wait to make a move until she is single again. Link to comment
hopefulseven Posted April 25, 2009 Author Share Posted April 25, 2009 Okay, I've failed to make my point here... I don't want to make a move on her at any point. That wouldn't work. I want to leave this thing in such a way as that she might come back to me on her own when she sees that I've made the changes I needed to make in my own life, even though it's a distant hope, and I need advice on how to do that. How do I tell her that I'm waiting for her without sounding crazy? Also, I should mention I'm not crazy. I just don't foresee meeting anybody who would "get" me the way she did, and if that did happen, I wouldn't hold out. But until such a time, I need her to know that I still love her, and would like nothing more than to have the opportunity to show her what kind of person I've become since we broke up. Help me, somebody, please. But remember, I'm not going to make a move on her at any point (wouldn't be appropriate to the relationship we had). I just need help telling her that I'd rather be exes than friends, because at least if we were exes there's a chance she might want to try again some day, slim though it may be. Link to comment
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