Wanting to have better conversations with bf when on the phone

[RoxyGril]

I am a quiet person and it's a part of who I am. It hasn't got to a problem where it's a huge problem. I ususally come off to be super quiet but once you get to know me I'll talk quiet a bit. So, I usually talk to my bf twice a day (morning/evening). IDK what it is but when I'm with him in person we talk a lot with each other. But, when where apart and I talk to him on the phone we'll ask each other the basic ?'s and then it will go silent. So, I usually am the one to think of something random to ask but after it's answered then it just goes silent again. I just can't figure why that happens and it's driving me crazy. It's not just the fact that I am quiet he's kinda like me but he'll talk more of course. But, it just seems as if both of run of things to say rather quickly and it sucks.

 

I am asking for advice and suggestions on how to have a better conversation through the phone??? At times we'll be on the phone for about 1/2 hr. and other times it will be no more then 15 mins...

 

Suggestions?????????

[Cognitive_Canine]

Cut out the morning convo.

 

Throughout the day, write down things that happen that you think to tell your bf about.

 

Always answer the phone in a good mood. I typically start my conversations with my boyfriend with "meow". It's quirky, friendly, and let's him knwo I'm in a good mood.

 

Also, you don't always have to talk. In real life, there are things going on that you are both experiencing at the same time (your surroundings, the tv, background noise). And, people rarely talk all the time one on one in person. On the phone, there is this stress to talk all the time. But realize that just talking one on one for extended periods of time every day is just not what people do. It's normal to have gaps on the phone.

 

Enjoy the silence, it's bonding time too.

 

Also, try watching tv and movies at the same time while on the phone. Makes it more like real life.

 

Another fun thing to do is get a webcam. Soooo much better.

[svc52]

I feel the same way too. When you talk to people in person its alot easier to talk because you actually see that person but on the phone you cant see each other. That is why it is hard to have conversation on the phone. Send IM or text. You won't believe how much you guys will talk

[RoxyGril]

I know it's good to have gaps in between phone conversations...Maybe it is a bit to much and holding off on the morning conversations might help. Writing things down will help a lot. So I'll have to try that and hopefully it work. I am just wanting to be able to have a descent conversation with him thru the phone usually without so much silance.

 

As for txting we will do that every so often but not all the time.

[flash83]

cut down the texting and any other IM contact.. i mean if you are covering all the topics of conversation through other methods then of course you will have nothing to talk about when on the phone.

[RoxyGril]

Cutting out the txting is fine I wouldn't have a problem with that. So, would it just be best to maybe talking once a day maybe?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Cutting out the txting is fine I wouldn't have a problem with that. So, would it just be best to maybe talking once a day maybe?

 

Unless you have something exciting to tell him, just once a day.

 

I call my bf with a new announcement. When I hear something hilarious. When I get out of an exam.

[ArchToronto]

some people talk better in real life and vice versa. Maybe the phone isn't your thing like you stated.

 

Also talking morning + evening is kind of too much (for me anyways). In fact don't make it an obligation to talk every day. Sometimes a break in between is good or if it happens to be everyday then its fine but both of you shouldn't have the expectation of needing to talk everyday. It will seem like a chore or if not eventually you run out of things to talk to and it becomes dull and boring which is what you are experiencing right now.

[RoxyGril]

Thanks, for the advice...Your right about it shouldn't have to be a chore to talk 2x a day. It's slowly coming to that cause it seems as if we are spending more time together in person then we are parent. Which I have come to realize that it's better with only talking over the phone once a day. I guess it has become such a habit for the both us and it really never changed up until now. So, I guess it's just better to limit it down to once day since we are spending a lot of time together...

[WickedSunrise]

If I spend sufficient time with my boyfriend in person, we never usually talk on the phone, except for things like making plans to see each other next, or just say "hey, come to my room". At school we live in the same dorm building, so I tend to see him daily, at least for a visit in the evenings if we don't actually do something, and we talk then. At home on vacations we see each other 3-4 days a week, and maybe talk on the phone a couple nights - having contact maybe 5-6 days a week. Two times a day, especially since you say you're seeing him and its not long-distance, seems like a bit much.