fatcat1999 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 a guy I causally dated stopped contacting me after our last date-eighth (three months). he told me he wanted to go slow from the beginning. from the signals he gave me, i should have known that i shouldn't count on him. (no call, no physical touch) but i thought if he's not interested, he won't go out eight times with me. so i made my move last date (simply just holding hands, kissing on the cheek). he was responsive at the time but seemed freaked out and stopped contacting me after. (i did sent an email asking for a consistent communication and also asked him to be upfront with me) it's been two weeks i heard nothing from him. i know he's not ready settling down yet,( but he did say he's bored with bar scene) but do you think i should let him know i'm willing to slow down and be friends with him? or it's just asking for trouble? ps. I think i'm looking for serious relationship but i'll take things slow with any guys-- which means i'm not going to jump into relationship right away and it's not what i'm looking for from him at least right now, i just want a consistent communication, so i can get to know him better. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Thats odd that he is going out with you 8 times and didnt really put into the physical aspect. Maybe he is discovering he is Gay. j/k. well you never know. Just back off from him a bit and let him put in some effort. there is no point in persuing someone that wont give back because the relationship would always be a give but receive nothing in return. realize its his loss. Never look for a relationship, just date and see which prince is the best candidate and if it feels right then you both will know to take things to the next step. nobody likes to be pressured into something. If its meant to happen it just does. Link to comment
fatcat1999 Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 that's what i wondered too, but when we pass a lady's underwear store, he kept on looking at it, i feel that he's showing me he's not gay. he did seem have intimacy problems. after i kiss him, he'll say "thank you' or' good' immediately but won't kiss me back . the only physical touch he initiated was a hug, a very very brief and shallow kind of hug. don't know , maybe he likes other girls or he's afraid of intimacy. yeah, i'll give him space, basically i'll let him go thanks a Thats odd that he is going out with you 8 times and didnt really put into the physical aspect. Maybe he is discovering he is Gay. j/k. well you never know. Just back off from him a bit and let him put in some effort. there is no point in persuing someone that wont give back because the relationship would always be a give but receive nothing in return. realize its his loss. Never look for a relationship, just date and see which prince is the best candidate and if it feels right then you both will know to take things to the next step. nobody likes to be pressured into something. If its meant to happen it just does. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Would you really wanna date a P***Y? sorry, not trying to be rude but if a guy cant take a hint by now, he is not worth the time. maybe he is shy and not a intimate guy but if your the oposite, its not gonna work. Link to comment
OziJack Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Would you really wanna date a P***Y? sorry, not trying to be rude but if a guy cant take a hint by now, he is not worth the time. maybe he is shy and not a intimate guy but if your the oposite, its not gonna work. Yep, my thoughts too. Eight dates and no hanky panky ? Must be frustrating. MY guess is that he either has LOW interest level, or even lower testosterone. Either way no good for a red blooded woman like you ! Link to comment
fatcat1999 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 I googled "fear of intimacy" and basically they're afraid to open up and be venerable coz of fear of abandonment and rejection from past experience. I did remember him saying he was angry at his Dad not paying anything for his college so he's to work sooooo hard to pay his tuition... and he didn't have friends in grad school at all... i think he's a great person, and I really like him. if he does have those problems, i don't think i can "cure" him, but maybe if I'm patient with him (of coz I'll date others too), he'll finally come around? so I should just give him space and let him come to me if he wants? I guess I shouldn't initiate any contact , right? thanks alot Link to comment
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