Jump to content

major BURN I feel like an a**


makedamnsure92

Recommended Posts

How To Tell Someone You Like Them (...
How To Tell Someone You Like Them (Without Screwing Up)

ok ... so for months this guy at work has been hardcore flirting with me. usually I'm not one to think oh a guy likes me. but he was really flirting and doing things.

 

so I gained up the courage to tell him I like him this is what I wrote:

 

I just want to let you know that I don't usually do these kind of things because I am a huge chicken. But lately I have been not caring what people think, and doing what I want...so I am going to just do this.

 

I like you, alot. I realize it is lame and jr. highish to tell you this on facebook...that's the chicken in me. And I realize that you prob just like me as a friend, and that is really fine with me. It's not going to be the end of the world to me. But I just had to tell you because it's driving me nuts!

 

sorry if this makes things awkward now, I hope it doesn't. I didn't want to do that! We can carry on being friends and act like I never said anything if you wish I'm fine with that.

 

ok... well I guess I'll talk to you later...if you're not creeped out by me!

 

and he wrote back:

 

 

creeped out by you?! never...its always good to say whats on your mind...take it from someone who did it for a long time...i think you have a great personality and i think its awesome that you have the patience(sometimes) to do what you do! right now i dont think id be good for anyone to be in a relationship with....gotta lotta things going on....thats not a lie...but i want you to keep sharing your lunch with me! and of course go out and drink sometimes after work......and i really didnt read this until now...i was not lying at lunch

 

 

 

 

yeah... I got the great personality line.

 

what should I think of this? any hope or major burn. be honest thanks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Damn, I wish that the girl I'm into at work would give me some interest like that.

 

I commend you for your bravery.

 

He could have lots on his plate at the moment...or maybe he just wants you as a friend.

 

Either way, you did a good thing by getting it off your chest, and again, I respect the guts you have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ok. I feel like an ass tho!

 

thing is... he was flirting so damn much I really truly thought he liked me. he is a really really REALLY nice guy... but he isnt this way with other girls.

 

he used the line he has alot goin right now. honestly I do too... and I really am not sure if I am ready for a relationship either.

 

I just can't believe how foolish I am. oh well.

 

 

would it be more foolish of me to hang out with him more after work and stuff like that or am I just setting myself up for dissappointment?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ok. I feel like an ass tho!

 

thing is... he was flirting so damn much I really truly thought he liked me. he is a really really REALLY nice guy... but he isnt this way with other girls.

 

he used the line he has alot goin right now. honestly I do too... and I really am not sure if I am ready for a relationship either.

 

I just can't believe how foolish I am. oh well.

 

 

would it be more foolish of me to hang out with him more after work and stuff like that or am I just setting myself up for dissappointment?

 

You're definitely no ass, and definitely not foolish at all.

 

You saw what you liked, you went for it, and right now, it didn't turn out how you wanted it/envisioned it.

 

Still though, it's so much better that you did this and now at least you know where he stands for the most part.

 

Should you still hang out with him?? That's a tough question...you could hang out and see where that goes, if you 2 could become closer, or you could not hang out and see if he does in fact miss you not being there outside of work.

 

Very tough call for even me to make...sorry I'm not that much help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

eeesh!!! sounds like you got all the right signals, but why he wasn't into it, i dunno!!! well, i guess time to move on. i agree with keeping the work relationship professional and not going out for drinks or whatever. i'd move forward. so sorry!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A little more detective work is in order before writing this off as a "nice personality" letdown IMO, sounds like he may have some skeleton in the closet, and not that he isn't interested in you. If your gut tells you someone is major league flirting with you, they probably are!

 

Would cut out the FB note passing, and not mention anything further about the notes, especially not an apology or anything, you paid him a big compliment that most guys rarely get, but continue as you have been. If you don't, it makes you look dishonest or insecure, because you told him just friends would be fine in your FB note, so avoiding him at lunch or for drinks might look bad.

 

Would explore other options though, and not worry too much about whether anything will ever develop with this one. He obviously likes you alot, because he could have been insincere hoping to use you, but did not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A little more detective work is in order before writing this off as a "nice personality" letdown IMO, sounds like he may have some skeleton in the closet, and not that he isn't interested in you. If your gut tells you someone is major league flirting with you, they probably are!

 

yeah, i agree. that's a good point. could be there is a wife or gf or something else he didn't mention.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

that wasnt a major burn. its better to know than not to. This guy showed alot of respect with his reply so yes, you should keep being friends with him unless it hurts you too much. maybe in time when his issues settle and your still interested and single, you two can make a go at it. Its always best to build a friendship foundation before you make a go of anything serious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is why I wait for the guy to ask me out. Sometimes guys are flirting because (1) they like to flirt and it's fun or (2) they actually do like you, but not enough to want to date you or (3) both. It sucks and believe me I have been there...which is why I don't do it before. It might sound silly to some, but I don't care how many "I like you" signals a guy gives me or how much he flirts his handsome head off...if he isn't asking me out, I'm not saying a word with regard to liking him or wanting to date.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you so much for all the advice it really has made me feel so much more at ease. I really do appreciate it.

 

I woke up this morning sick to my stomach and I read your responses and they made me calm

 

today at work was good. he didn't act any different. and I talked to a mutual friend of ours who says that he is a really busy person... just graduating, starting student teaching on top of our job.

 

and I'm not making stupid excuses up as to why he doesn't want me... just saying I'm gonna take it cool and just see how things go.

 

thank you for your guys help it really means alot to me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

wow...how perfect that i found this post. that guy sounds just like me. there has been this guy that i run into every couple of months, when we're both out of town with our huge world group, and we always flirt, i've kissed him a couple of times, and nothing more. i was just not interested. he has been pursuing me for over a year...almost 2. he really hit on me hard last weekend, and i said...i can't sleep with you because i don't want to ruin the friendship. i'd rather have that than anything and it's not worth it. he was willing to risk it...and we did. i had the best time and now i think about (well, it's only been 2 days) all the time. not sure what happened....but i've been protesting for quite some time. he could be like me....oh, i had every excuse in the book...but he just didn't give up....and know what? i DID finally come around.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Props to you for stepping up and asking. Welcome to the world that men have to be in most of the time! LOL Doesn't sound to me like a burn at all... at the very worst it was a nice, honest answer. I'd much rather receive that than some lame excuse which leaves you guessing for an answer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yeah I have had a few days to think now, and it's so not as bad as I made it out to be I figure... he knows I like him. he can do what he wants with that fact.

 

he is still flirting with me, so I dont know what to do with that but flirt back. ... actually... I've kinda stepped back on the flirting but he is still flirting. I still flirt a little tho.

 

I think he is a cool guy. If we end up just friends that is ok with me, he's just a cool person in general.

 

I dunno.... guys are confusing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is why I wait for the guy to ask me out. Sometimes guys are flirting because (1) they like to flirt and it's fun or (2) they actually do like you, but not enough to want to date you or (3) both. It sucks and believe me I have been there...which is why I don't do it before. It might sound silly to some, but I don't care how many "I like you" signals a guy gives me or how much he flirts his handsome head off...if he isn't asking me out, I'm not saying a word with regard to liking him or wanting to date.

 

Me too. I broke my own rule very recently and was hurt once again, so I'm sticking to this. The pattern is pretty clear. I can make myself open and available, obviously interested, but the guy needs to make his intentions clear by actually asking me out somewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If great personality is all you got then give up. If it was followed by thinking you were cute then there might be hope. Based on what you said it sounds like a very polite let down.

 

It happens to us as well. Girls flirt and say and do all these things to make you think they’re interested. Some get way too carried away with it. Yet when you take a real interest they give you the just want to be friends speech or sorry if I misled you speech.

 

I have had it actually destroy friendships because it makes you feel so humiliated and stupid. It also crushes whatever confidence you may have had.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

let me try and spell it out how he flirts... there has been so many incidents I am gonna have to think.

 

it started out with him making fun of me for small things...

 

at lunch he was always watching me. he would sit and eat lunch and watch me talk to my co-worker, watch me when I got up to get my lunch or drink, and I didnt only notice this my co-worker did as well.. and I had not mentioned to her how I felt bout him it was her own observation.

 

the more we would talk, the more questions he would ask me at lunch. there are other girls our age that work with us, and he is not the way he is with me, to them.

 

I guess what really got me thinking that he likes me is that when we all went out for a work gathering my best friend came with... and she told me later she didnt really know what to expect when I told her bout this guy... but she said all nite she felt like the third wheel and she couldn't believe how much this guy seemed to like me.

 

he goes out of his way to come into the classrooms I am working in... when he really has no reason to be in there at all (we work in different grades)

 

when all his friends at lunch leave... he will wander round the lunch room for awhile and then if Istart talking to him he is quick to come sit by me.

 

I dunno... its just the normal things a person would do if they liked you.

 

I have had 3 people spend less then 5 minutes with him and I... and after he has left tell me that he has gotta like me, because the way he was acting with me was big time flirting. and these are people who I did not know before hand.

 

so I dont know....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there any physical contact between you two? touching each other's arms, hands, backs? Really puzzling why this guy goes all out in the attention dept. yet claims not to want to pursue anything further. Does he behave in a masculine way? feminine at all? metro?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

funny you mention touching...

 

he made "First contact" with me this week (minus when we had our work outting, we were all a little drunk so there was poking and flirting in that aspect)

 

beginning of this week, he came up behind me took some of my pretzels and squeezed my shoulder and said "Bye brittany" as he left. and the lady I was with looked at me with a look. I was like "what?" she goes "Girlllll did u see that look he gave you?" I was like "no" she said "girl he likes you! you should of seen that look"... this was this ladie's first day at work so its not like she's seen us in the past togehter.

 

so that is what made me decide to tell him I like him.

 

I think the advice I have gotten is great. I dont understand this guy as much as you all dont. if anything developes I will for sure be writing. I am glad I can come here. its good to get advice from someone who is not your friend ya know!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...