FriendnorFoe Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 ok, so I finally returned her phone call. Going into it I thought about the diffrent ways it could play out and told myself perhaps she just called to ask if I want some of my stuff back. Fortunatley there were no expectations so what happened didnt destroy me in the least bit but just wanted some insight. So I called her up and we both sounded happy but not too happy to talk to one another, lightly chit-chated about jobs and what was going on, then she told me she called me the other day because she wanted to return my playstation that was mine and I left over there, I clearly stated a couple times before that if we ever broke up she could keep it cause she had more games, so I just reminded her of this and said that its fine that you kept it, so we talked for about 4-5 minutes more about stuff that was going on with our families and she said "I just want you to know that you hurt my feelings when we broke up cause you stormed out but I hurt yours too and I understand why you did" I said I know Im sorry you just caught me off guard, but the past is the past and things are ok now. She said are you ok and and still mad at me I said I am good, been doing my own thing and no I am not mad at you. I said "well its good we had this little talk and it was good to hear from you but I gotta run some errands now." She said ok good luck and I said take it easy. I feel fine, the convo had nothing to do with meeting up or getting back together but it was good. Any thoughts to what this could of meant to her or what I might expect in the coming days weeks? Link to comment
nomorelovish Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 For now, I wouldn't have any expectations. It seems to me that she was just using the playstation as an excuse to contact you, especially considering you told her blatantly that she can keep it. It was good of you to return the phone call, but I wouldn't look too much into it because if nothing happens in the coming weeks you are going to be severely disappointed. Go back into NC, and remember why it's important to keep doing it. Link to comment
Hanyou Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I agree; don't expect too much of it. She could just be checking up on see if you're doing fine (so either she's no longer feeling guilty or see who's recovering quicker). We all need some kind of closure before we can truly move on, whether it be a new relationship or a rekindling...this is just a tiny step, don't think too much of it... Link to comment
cl76 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I think you handled that beautifully. You have paved the way for reconciliation with forgiveness. This doesn't mean that she does actually wants you back just yet. The only way you can rekindle a romance is to meet in person so that she can see the "new" you. You can't create romance over the phone. Now you should stay with NC until she calls you again sometime down the track. She's definitely been thinking about you - a positive sign so just be patient. Keep working on yourself in the meantime. If/when she does, keep it light and friendly and when you sense the conversation has become very positive ask her then and there to "catch up" for coffee or something. Say it'll be fun... Set the meeting 5-7 days away so she has time to anticipate it... If she says yes then you are very close to winning her back (because it's vital she sees you in person and thinks "Wow! You've changed!"). If she says no then just say "ok maybe next time" and continue the NC - she may be on the verge of wanting to try again but needs more time. Good luck. Link to comment
spook Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 She'll be back. Mark my words. Well played!! Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 well it def seemed she called to check up on me, maybe suprised her I am not wallowing in a pool of human filth waiting for her to call all this time. I dont see any other way I coulda handled it cause I am not desperate for anything. I dont need her I just want her, well see how things play out I guess. Link to comment
tujna Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Very well-handled. Congratulations! Keep it on. NC works for us much better than for them. At the end, you don't have anything to be sorry for. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 She'll be back. Mark my words. Well played!! Yeah, I think so too. Just enough convo to remind her of what a good guy he is at heart, but nothing more. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 well this is technically day 0 of NC, but I feel good even if there is no chance of getting back together I feel like there is finally closure on the situation, I felt almost like a trapped soul that is finally able to cross to the other side. I am still driven to continue to work out, be the same confident cool person, this convo has not delayed this progress in anyway, dont feel like it has changed anything except for us now on good terms, I have said it before it is not in me to hate, I cant make everyone in the world like me but for someone I was so close to and shared my world with it feels good to know we are on the same mutual level of respect. Link to comment
Siberia Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Dear FriendnorFoe, This is the best way it could have proceeded. 1) you did not jump at her call and waited 2) when you called a few days later you had a very chilled conversation with her 3) you didn't ask anything about relationship nor about meeting or talking more in the future 4) A lot of negative vibe from break-up was neutralized. Just keep NC because you are on a level playing field with her. She can "sense" a new you already. You are not the clingy and overavailable person she had left behind. If you play it cool and don't call her again, she will eventually come around. Even if she doesn't, she is seeing you in a new light. The playstation was of course an excuse, you have been on her mind a lot Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Good job FriendNorFoe! I think you handled that pretty well and like other posters have said, it's good sign that you've been on her mind. But just remember to think of yourself and YOUR personal needs still before even thinking about what she might want, or what she's thinking. You still have work to do and you've already accomplished so much by going NC. Link to comment
spook Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 The best thing was you were the one who ended the conversation. You left her wanting more. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 I forgot to mention she told me she lost her job and got a new one but couldnt start right away, therefore she was bored and sitting around not having anything to do...lol, the old me would have jumped on that and been like "wow thats great now we can hang out way more and stuff" maybe that was the response she expected but I just asked stuff about why she lost her job and about this new job. Like I said before wont look to much into it because she coulda just wanted to move on ending things on good terms, so if she calls again cool, if not thats cool too, life is good folks Link to comment
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