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So Desperate For Hope, What Determines Success?


bear314
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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I have been so down lately even though its been almost three months that I called a psychic. He told me that this girl "doesn't know what she want" and "is looking for comfort in somebody outside of her home but that she can see" (we had a LDR). His advice was to let the universe take over or go with the flow and that its not likely that we will be getting back together.

 

My heart is broken and ego shattered, any signs of hope are either dwindling or made out of faith and air. I just cannot believe that we are over no matter how short (one month but have been talking for five) it was and how obvious it may seem. Has there been moment where you gave up and moved on but came back to a relationship no matter how unrealistic or unforgivable the actions or situation of you and/or the other person. Please I'm hanging on the edge and although I'm trying to collect the pieces of my shattered heart its hell to wake up every day. Spare any hope? Or relief? I have never known the feel and emotion of love before her and now thats all I want to know.

 

Details on my story here:

 

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Yes. My ex-wife left me, humiliated me, lied to me, burned her bridges with me, hooked up with an enemy of mine, talked s*** about me to everyone... then, about 15 months later, begged and pleaded for me to take her back. I had already moved on by then, was with someone else, but about a year later, I actually did give it some thought (we have two young children). I wish i hadn't, as that was enough to drive away (eventually) the woman I'd met, and whom I really loved... But oh yes, relationships can come back from the dead. I really feel like you have to let go before that can happen though. At least, that's been my experience.

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If you ask me, I'd say:

 

The only hope is no hope at all.

 

It sounds so negative. It is, in a way. You really shouldn't hold out any hope, because the more you hold out hope, the more you will be disappointed. Just live your life how you would usually do it, with or without her. Things will happen as they're supposed to. But you asked for some hope/relief, so I guess I should provide that, at least.

 

This is a story I posted in another thread last night (I'm just doing copy & paste so I don't have to re-type it):

 

My ex (not the most recent, but the one before him) and I were together for about four months, before he moved with his family to another state. So it turned to a LDR. We tried that for a month, but it just wasn't working. We were only like 16-17 at the time (it was in Summer-Fall 2005, nearly four years ago).

 

We went our separate ways. He got back in contact with me after a few months, and wanted to try at things, but we were still so young...better just kept as friends, which was fine with him. We'd send emails to each other maybe one time every 4-5 months, until that stopped, and we lost contact all together.

 

Anyways--had NC for over a year. We got back in touch sometime last year--don't remember the exact date, but it was around January of 2008.

 

We're actually very good friends, despite the distance. He actually sent me a text message a few minutes ago saying, "I love you". It's more of a friendly way, I assume. Who knows. He's planning a trip to Texas in a few months though, so I'll get to see him...after four years.

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i agree with the psychic. actually, you don't even need a psychic to tell you that. she's not interested in pursuing the relationship. i think you just need to move on and not hang onto false hope. who knows what will happen 5 years from now, if you might reconnect, but for now, i would let go and move forward. sorry.

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I called another one. A female psychic saying the chances of us ending up together as is in she is "the one" is 20%. Pretty much the said the same as the first. The thing is I didn't connect with anyone like her before.

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God damnit it feels like theres and elephant on my chest and theres a dam thats about to burst. I just can't stop the tears. I loved her for everything she was except the ending. It's not fair and it all sucks. She lied and left me, tossed all that we had made together, for another guy who was more convenient. A guy who did her wrong in the first place and never kept a respectful distance from us. Why do I have to be the one left behind? I never did anything to deserve this. Karma has the wrong guy. I've read books, looked online, and asked everyone I know and still I can't get anything to make this right. I'm in NC, dated one other girl and she cheated on me, excercised, getting ready for a prom that I was supposed to take her to while I know the date that shes going to his. Why did my first love have be like this? We never had a real chance. And all signs point out that it won't work and will not in the future. I was fine a year ago and now gone from guy who has everything I could want to a guy who has nothing left to lose.

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Trust me bear I know exactly how you feel. I left my life in Pennsylvania. My job, my Love of my life I was actually happy for once in my life. Now all that has been crushed under a foot of a women who would rather date a drunk then a real man.

 

Cut your loses and move on no matter how hard you think it is.

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I just realized something. Talked to two psychics today. One male and one female. Both said we were compatible but the future aspect of it (since we are not together) of there being an us again for serious commitment was a Magic Eight Ball's "outlook not so good" sign. Which brought me down after being relatively looking forward to it today. Then I looked up "love tests" online. I tried it once which resulted in "superficial love" and one that read "you will never get back together." When I read the fine print it said "for best results type in full name." So I did which got me better results. A lot better. The chances were feasible. A little more then half. I felt so much better even now as I type. Hope even as meaningless and empty as this can really help. Not that you guys haven't but if human beings didn't have that then we would all just give up. f you have ever read the story of Pandora's Box then you would know that when opened all of mankinds plagues, evils and ills that burden mankind was released. However because of Pandora's curiosity she opened it one more time and closed it quickly as one last thing flew out. All that time that layed at the bottom of the box was Hope. Very interesting story that comes from Greek mythology.

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Pandora's little box will keep you from moving on if you are not careful...

 

Today is your future...live in the past..there is where your future will be..

 

However..i do understand wholeheartedly where you are right now in your grieving process..

 

So if hoping right know..will make you smile, keep you from tears..make the days, mornings and night bearable..than please keep hoping...

Talk to the spirits, send out those mantra's of hope..do it..

 

Ride that wave...someday you will notice that another path needs to be chosen..and than you will choose that one..

 

You will get there..in the end

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my take on this, bear, is that if it is meant to be, it will be. she will come back to you if that is what she wants. though i don't know if that will happen or not. statistically speaking, it probably won't. i think you should go out and explore the world, get to know new women, don't hang onto hope. if your ex wants you back, she knows your phone number, your email address, etc.... she can call you and say she wants you back. and then you can decide if that is something you want or not!! hanging on in the meantime is just a waste of time and your youth. i know, because i have been there. i could have met so many new guys, instead of hoping and praying for my ex to come back (who turned out to be a big old jerk!!)

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