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So a friend of mine wants to date me...


Coldfisssion

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A friend of mine broke up with her fiance after being together with him for three years due to some sick prank that involved him lying to her about cheating on her and a friend of his telling her that he died of a bad shrapnel infection. He said that it was for $500 for their wedding. During this whole time, I was my friend's support system, giving her advice, helping her process what was going on, and pretty much providing emotional support for her while she went through a lot. Her fiance came back on leave and, during the time between him telling her about the 'prank' and coming back, he kept on pushing the wedding date further and further up to the very night he came back and my friend and him eloping.

 

She ended up not going through with it, but now she's admitted that she would like go out with me, but I'm skeptical about that. I'm interested in her, but I also understand that she'll need time to heal from experiencing almost two weeks of feeling betrayal, anger, grief, sorrow, etc, and I'm not sure that she's emotionally stable right now due to what her ex-fiance put her through.

 

I'm not sure what to do. I feel that, by helping her through a really tough time by just being myself, I established myself as the support system her fiance was supposed to be, and she's acting upon that by misinterpreting those feelings as being romantic. I want to encourage her to take some time off, get used to being single again, and see where things might go next semester, but I think that telling her that might push her off the edge. What should I do?

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You tell her what you typed above.

 

The main point is that she is looking for an emotional anchor right now and she is turning to you because of your history together. You represent stability and she wants that from you. That is not a good reason to entangle yourself with a woman.

 

You want some advice? Only date woman who are ATTRACTED to you because you are a manly man. You want a woman in your life who thinks that you are HOT and she cant get enough.

Never get involved with a sad or depressed woman out of sympathy or pity.

One day she will feel better and then her reasons for being with you will vanish, and so will she, right into the arms of some bad a$$ who makes her feel all gooey.

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