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So tell your story....


KrazyDevil

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I hate to start a new thread but after all that I have been reading on here over the past month, I feel this should be done

 

I want to hear from those who went through NC and managed to salvage their relationships. Whether it be through reconsiliation or whatever, I would like to hear your story. I dont want to hear of those who have managed to move on after a few months/years of NC. I really just want to hear the positives of people who truly went through NC or whatever and got back with their ex. This is truly what the "Getting Back Together" forum is about right? Sorry, but many of the stories I read on here should be on the "Healing After Breakup/Divorce" forum. I want to to know the success stories with the ex, not with yourself. Please, do tell.

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Well, I don't know if this one really counts, but it's kind of a success, I suppose.

 

My ex (not the most recent, but the one before him) and I were together for about four months, before he moved with his family to another state. So it turned to a LDR. We tried that for a month, but it just wasn't working. We were only like 16-17 at the time (it was in Summer-Fall 2005, nearly four years ago).

 

We went our separate ways. He got back in contact with me after a few months, and wanted to try at things, but we were still so young...better just kept as friends, which was fine with him. We'd send emails to each other maybe one time every 4-5 months, until that stopped, and we lost contact all together.

 

Anyways--had NC for over a year. We got back in touch sometime last year--don't remember the exact date, but it was around January of 2008.

 

We're actually very good friends, despite the distance. He actually sent me a text message a few minutes ago saying, "I love you". It's more of a friendly way, I assume. Who knows. He's planning a trip to Texas in a few months though, so I'll get to see him...after four years.

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NC didn't last very long for me and I didn't hide how * * * * ed up and hurt I was, but it still worked. The first time was for about a week. I found out my girlfriend cheated on me, I lost my * * * * and basically ignored the world for about a week. The first two or three days she tried to call or email or IM and it was so * * * * ing hard to resist the urge to respond but somehow I did it. Anyways, after awhile I gave in and we had an epic long conversation in which she said she would go into therapy and work on regaining my trust and all that. So I took her back. I guess I was technically the dumper in this situation, but it sure felt like I was the dumpee.

 

After that things slowly got better between us. I eventually regained my trust in her. We had some ups and downs on the way there, but we made it. I knew she wasn't totally over her issues, not even close, but she had proved that she was devoted to us and to making it work. Like a chump when she said she wanted to hang out around the * * * * er she cheated on me with I said "well it doesn't make me happy, but I'm not going to say no". From there it was back to "we're just friends". Then it was "well, he kissed me and for a moment I was really tempted but then I realized how wrong it would be and it only reaffirmed how I've made the right choice in being with you". Then it seemed things were great again, until I caught her in a blatant lie which unraveled the whole thing. I don't believe they * * * * ed, but the relationship was still inappropriate and involved her kissing him and sleeping in his bed (yes, I admit I may be in denial about what actually went on). After some long and painful conversation I got up to walk away forever, she stopped me and begged. I stayed. She called him right there and told him she could never see or talk to him again. Then she quit her job (they worked together), and she signed back up for therapy. I actually had some * * * * ing hope. Two days later she dumped me.

 

I begged and pleaded. I cried my heart out. I was pathetic. Drunk for days, not sleeping or eating. Then I * * * * ing gave up on it all, I wanted to punish her by removing myself completely from the world. I was so nice, she said she wanted to be friends, she wanted me in her life, she didn't want to lose me forever. After a week and a half or so, I drunkenly broke NC with a phone call. It was like 7am and I was drunk and had been up all night and was next to a busy road and apparently she was seriously concerned I had killed myself when I abruptly got off the phone with her. I remember trying to maintain my composure during the call, not begging but making it clear I missed her and was in a bad place. We talked again the next day, she said she couldn't promise anything and blah blah blah but she really wanted to see me. So when I got back into town I went to see her. We * * * * ed, we cried, we barely talked about us except to say how much we had missed each other. We talked every day, and saw each other regularly after that. We never talked explicitly about the nature or status of our relationship, I just acted as if she was still my girlfriend and she went along with it. After awhile of this we had a talk in which I said that I was happy with how things were between us but that if she had sex with anyone else it would have to end. She said that was fine, she doubted she would have sex with anyone else.

 

We talk every day, we see each other more than we ever have before. We basically drifted our way back to being a couple. I do think the NC was key in this, I was a pathetic wreck and my drunken begging for her to just give us one more chance wasn't helping. She * * * * ing betrayed me, I gave her yet another chance, and I'm the one who gets dumped and winds up begging? It was so * * * * ed up. I'm in such a better place now, I recognize how co-dependent I had become and how naive I was, and what a manipulative liar she can be. Anyways, the NC gave me the space to at least start pulling myself back together, it gave me some power back too, and it definitely made her miss me and worry about how I was. I know it's not the strict and long NC that's touted here, but in my case it worked. So, yeah I am back with the love of my life and I've got a knife in my back for every day I've known her. I'm happier than I've ever been, we're closer than we have ever been, she knows I can see right through her now and it drives her crazy. She is still in therapy, we still try to deal with the issues between us. She still sees the other guy and talks to him fairly regularly. I doubt she * * * * s him, but I don't really know. For now this is as good as it can get, I'm pretty content with the situation. If we do keep moving closer the way we have been recently then things will need to eventually change of course, but for now its working great.

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