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Temporary Orders Challanged???


Mishmash

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Anyone here that has had their Temporary Orders challenged?

During mine I was awarded the standard 40% of his net minus 50% my net. I'm also getting current child support (he voluntarily gave up all parental rights) and I was also awarded 6 months retro child support that he refused to pay.

 

Last week was the first week that his check was garnished, and he went to his lawyer. His lawyer wrote up a settlement, which is not in my favor. The divorce will be in January, and it seems to me that this is a wasted effort of time and money.

 

Anyone here have experience in this matter?

 

If it isn't one thing, it's another...

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Well just because his lawyer wrote up a settlement doesn't mean you have to agree to it. If it's unfair then provide a counter-offer to them. Or if you can't come to an agreement then you can let it go to trial and have the judge decide.

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That's just it.....this has been going on for over a year with offers and counter offers. I finally got a new attorney and things started to get done (mediation & temporary orders set up which my first attorney refused to do).

Mediation turned out to be a joke as he wanted me to assume all marital debts, I was receive none of the equity and I was to forgive past child support payments) so it went to trial. Now that he has to pay he's starting up with the ridiculous offers again.

I just want to know if anyone here has had temporary orders challenged and how that went...

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I'm afraid I don't understand. If it went to trial then it is no longer a temporary order. The trial would have addressed the matter and a final set of orders would be issued. He can't ignore those, he'd have to actually file an appeal for the whole trial.

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Sorry for the confusion - we went to a Temporary Order hearing in March 2009 and with the courts backed up, the Permanent Orders (Final Decree) won't be until January 2010.

My stbx doesn't like the Courts decision and thus proposed another settlement. It's not in my or my childrens' best interest, so I'm not signing.

Emotionally, I don't want to go back and forth with negotiations. Been there, done that for over a year.

So now I'm wondering if my stbx can challenge the Temporary Orders and have them overruled/changed.

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Mishmash,

 

Sorry, I know that you want all of this to end. It does seem like it will go on forever.

 

It sounds like the temporary orders hearing that you had is in effect. He can make all the offers he wants. But as long as you do not agree to it, it stays. I do not know in your state if he can challenge it in court right away or he has to wait a certain time period (this may be allowed in event that the financial circumstances have changed drastically).

 

It may be very possible that he can keep taking you back in front of the Family Court judge many times. Lawyers love this. Even if the judge upholds the temporary orders, he may be able to do it again and again until the court sees that it is frivolous.

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John,

Hopefully the courts are too busy for him to keep taking it back. Besides, he ran up 3 credit cards since the separation and now is $50,000 in debt according to his financial statement. I don't think he can afford the lawyer fees to keep taking it to court.

 

As far as lawyers, I'm on my second one and he is a God Sent. He sat on the Colorado Supreme Court for family affairs, and is all about the children. I don't worry about him 'taking my money', as he is working on reduced fees so I can afford him.

I think my stbx's attorney is that way, giving bad advice and dragging it on......

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Ah I understand now Mishmash. Thanks for the clarification. Your ex has to abide by the temporary orders at this time. However his attorney can file a motion with the court to modify them. That doesn't mean it will work, but it is always possible to make a motion as John Bendix has said.

 

If he's making ridiculous settlement offers then ignore them. It sounds like you have a good attorney so that's great to have someone you trust advocate for you.

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Hi Mishmash,

I have nothing to offer (john and avman covered it) but just wanted to say Hi. I was wondering what was going on with you and your ex. It seems reality is hitting him in the face these days.

 

Hang in there and don't let him wear you down.

 

Lost

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John,

Hopefully the courts are too busy for him to keep taking it back. Besides, he ran up 3 credit cards since the separation and now is $50,000 in debt according to his financial statement. I don't think he can afford the lawyer fees to keep taking it to court.

 

As far as lawyers, I'm on my second one and he is a God Sent. He sat on the Colorado Supreme Court for family affairs, and is all about the children. I don't worry about him 'taking my money', as he is working on reduced fees so I can afford him.

I think my stbx's attorney is that way, giving bad advice and dragging it on......

 

 

I read through some of your previous posts, and it sounds like you are doing well.

 

I am just curious. Your tempory maintainance is by the standard Colorado formula of 40% of the higher minus 50% of the lower. I saw that there is a large income discrepancy. What do you expect the final maintenance amount to be?

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Orders, even permenant ones, can be taken back to court until a child turns 18. If he has the money, he can always take it back to court, though nothing may change. My bf is a Family Law Atty. and he has had couples battle this out for years and years. The judge will get tired of it, the husband or wife will back off for awhile, and then they bring something or other back to court. One couple finally settled it when the oldest was 19 and the youngest was 14. They had been divorced for over 10 years. That's a lot of years!!

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Leave him to the life he has created for himself. His world is falling in around him after the fantasy wore off. Try and not let him control your life through these things. It might be hard to not let it bother you but once you see through it all it should be easier.

 

best wishes

Lost

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Orders, even permenant ones, can be taken back to court until a child turns 18. If he has the money, he can always take it back to court, though nothing may change. My bf is a Family Law Atty. and he has had couples battle this out for years and years. The judge will get tired of it, the husband or wife will back off for awhile, and then they bring something or other back to court. One couple finally settled it when the oldest was 19 and the youngest was 14. They had been divorced for over 10 years. That's a lot of years!!

 

my friend has been divorced for 4 years now, children ages 5 and 7 [they were 1 and 3 when the parents divorced]

 

her ex husband has taken her to court every six months [as our state law allows] for various things, claiming she's not taking adequate care of the children, lowering his child support [he filed this motion and actually got drunk the night before and didn't show up at court or call or anything; ended up having it raised], that his visitation isn't being honored, whatever. if he can't afford a lawyer, he still does it and just represents himself. honestly, i really don't think he is doing it for the kids. he's doing it to make her life more difficult [seriously, why would you file to get your child support lowered? and then not show up? because the county court their child support order is through is not the one they live in, so my friend had to drive 4 hours for the court case to find out he wasn't there. HUGE inconvenience to her. ended up screwing him since the judge raised the child support, but that wasn't part of the ex's plan. he just wanted to be a jerk]

 

they can make it hell if they want to. they can do so much to drive you crazy because of the kids. as long as the kids are minors, you are STUCK with your ex. your ex can [and sounds like will] take you to court as often as your state/law allows. ours is every 6 months for "valid reasons"

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Some states have caught on to this type of harrassing behavior, and put limits on when they can go back to court. In my state, they can only request changes to child support amounts etc. once every 3 years unless some change happens (i.e., unemployment). And the state is very unsympathetic to people who keep dragging their spouses back into court and do frequently raise payments and assess court costs to stop people from doing that.

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Some states have caught on to this type of harrassing behavior, and put limits on when they can go back to court. In my state, they can only request changes to child support amounts etc. once every 3 years unless some change happens (i.e., unemployment). And the state is very unsympathetic to people who keep dragging their spouses back into court and do frequently raise payments and assess court costs to stop people from doing that.

 

yes here, it's every 2 years for child support hearings. but it's every 6 months for "valid reasons" last time my friend's ex took her, it was because the little girl had a UTI and he was claiming that my friend wasn't taking adequate care of the children.

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Oh, judges rapidly lose patience with that. The court is not mean to adjudicate those kinds of things... if he genuinely feels that the kids aren't being taken care of, then he should call child social services to have it investigated rather than taking her straigh to court.

 

Judges know when people try those kinds of tricks, and hopefully if he continues on this path the judge will keep penalizing him until he gets the idea he'd better stop.

 

The problem really comes in when one of the partners is wealthy, and has sufficient resources to keep hounding the person thru and courts and doesn't care how much money gets spent on lawyers or trials.

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Leave him to the life he has created for himself. His world is falling in around him after the fantasy wore off. Try and not let him control your life through these things. It might be hard to not let it bother you but once you see through it all it should be easier.

 

best wishes

Lost

 

Thanks everyone for your responses! I heard back from my lawyer today and in Colorado there is a time limitation, which has already passed. So he is stuck with what the court ordered, at least until Permanent Orders in January.

 

My lawyer is also getting the document ready to cite him for Contempt of Court for not paying the mortgage, as the house is on the verge of foreclosure. Maybe in the cities he visits at the end of leaf veins, they don't have to pay mortgages???

 

LostandHurt - you know my story from the beginning, and you are so right about his world falling in around him. It took a year, but everything has come full circle. AND I'm in a much better place - actually feel peaceful at times and looking forward to a new, different kind of life.

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I have a question for you, Mishmash.

 

Obviously, the child support has to be paid. The children must be provided for. Has he been paying it? You say his wages have been garnished. Child support and maintenance, or just child support?

 

So here is the big question. Let's say he is $50,000 in debt as you said. Let's say his income is such that he can never pay off your child support, your alimony and the debt. Are you willing to harass him with your cut rate lawyer until he commits suicide over it, or at some point are you going to step back, look at reality, and let the guy live?

 

Maybe he his making the 'unreasonable' offers because he CAN'T pay any more than that and still live? Do you really want your children's father reduced to living in an 8x10 rented room and struggling under unreasonable financial demands just because you can? What will that do to your children's image of their father? What will that do to their childhood, and their relationship with their father? I would like you to consider that. Your vengeance/entitlement does not outweigh your children's needs. Just because the government/courts say you can screw him for some onerous settlement doesn't make it the best choice.

 

The government also says you can quit your job, collect welfare, live in government housing, and get food stamps.

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WhatThe, before you get all incensed about this 'poor' guy getting harassed for child support, his history is that he had an online affair, then quit his job and ran off to another state to hook up with a woman he'd never even met in person, abandoning his wife and children to chase the other woman. He then didn't want to pay for the children or anything to do with his former life, just abandon them.

 

Courts have no sympathy for parents who abandon children and quit jobs to chase some other woman's poontag. The idiot has run up the debt by not working and chasing another woman andrunning up his credit cards and abandoning his former life and children with no planning, not thru some bad state of affairs that he couldn't control. Sorry, but i have NO sympathy for him, and the ex wife has done nothing wrong by garnishing his check to pay their children's child support.

 

If the other woman wants him so much, let her pay for him and his debts.

 

This thread is not about vengeance, it is about responsbility and common sense. If people marry and have children, then they can't just skip out like a teenager dumping a girlfriend before the prom, without expecting to have financial consequences they must address.

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Lamprey, no, you're not reading it correctly.

 

Most states have a standard formula you can research online, with different rules for different states, but usually about the same amount based on income plus the number of children.

 

For example, what they would do in my state is look at the two incomes. For example, if the husband earned 60% of the couples income and the wife 40%, they would make the husband pay 60% of the full amount of supporting a particular child (or children) based on a percentage of the total income of both parties together.

 

I'm not sure what state MishMash lives in, but they have various formulas for how they calculate based on income. So many times, it would end up that the husband would pay around 17% of his income (before taxes) to support one child, 25% for two, 33% for 3 etc.

 

If the husband earns more than the wife, he pays more as a percentage.

 

Some states just use a straight percentage of his pre-tax income regardless of what the spouses together earned.

 

So MishMash is quoting formulas that are not total percentage of his income (i.e., he doesn't pay 40% of his income to child support, unless they have a LOT of children). There are usually online calculators for each state to determine what you would pay based on income if you're interested in researching that.

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Also, since he ran off to another state and abandoned his wife and kids for another woman, judges will award quite high temporary spousal support until the divorce is settled so that the family doesn't immediately get evicted from their home while the husband/father blithely chases his new woman.

 

So during the period while the divorce is in process, he might have to pay a hefty spousal support payment. At the divorce, permanent alimony is not usually awarded except for really long marriages. So at the divorce (or within a year or two afterwards if the wife was unemployed and needs to find a career), the temporary spousal support will usually stop. But during the period of the divorce itself, he may indeed pay a hefty amount if he abandoned her until the divorce is decided.

 

The moral of that story is don't run off and abandon the wife and children to chase another woman. Judges take really unkindly to people stiffing their families, and usually hit the guy where it hurts when he does. If he instead had moved out and stayed in the area, continued to show he was responsible and wanted to see the children and didn't flagrantly move in with his other woman immediately after the divorce, the spousal payments might have been a lot less. Child support is usually set with formulas, but spousal support is frequently up to the discretion of the judge (even if based on a formula). So if the judge felt the husband was irresponsible and or arrogant or in contempt of court, he could hit him with 80% payment off his income if he so chose.

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Mishmash,

 

I am glad things are working out for you.

 

I am sorry that you have had to listen to backlash based on erroneous assumptions.

 

Thanks Lavenderdove and John.

The comments do not bother me, as he hasn't walked in my shoes and obviously has not read my story to know the details of my case.

 

What The... What I was awarded is standard in my state (Colorado). Maintenance was based on 40% on my income minus 50% of his. Child Support was also based on a state regulated formula.

His payments are a little higher until he pays retro child support for the last 7 months that he chose not to pay.

It was his choice not to pay child support, it was his choice to run up 3 credit cards after the separation (airplane tickets and wineries in the Blue Ridge Mountains, not 'daily living expenses'). His choices put him in the position he is in now.

As far as what he does with his life, again, his choice. I am not responsible for his actions; past, present, or future.

 

The relationship between the father/children.....I won't go into details here as it's all in my previous posts, but in the Temporary Orders it is listed as "abandonment" towards his children and he has no parental rights. In fact, he requested to have no parental rights. The kids are 19 and 16.

 

Lavenderdove: What you said is pretty much on the mark except that he didn't quite his job or move out of state (only threatened it). We're actually a ten minute walk from one another.

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Oh, i must be confusing you with someone else who posted on this board and abandoned his family and wanted nothing to do with the kids... Sad, but i guess it happens a lot.

 

but if he's abandoned the children and refused to pay child support, then he certainly doesn't have my respect either. You had a long marriage, and if he wants to leave it, fine, but he can't leave his obligations and children behind just because he wants to play...

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