jupiter32 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 hi all... ok....erm.... heres the story.... know a girl from work for the past eight or nine years... always got one great....but she was married..... a year ago, she split with her husband, six weeks later I asked her out and she agreed. in this past year she has sold her house, initiated divorce proceedings and in the past month or so has moved into her own apartment and is now living alone. our relationship has been mostly great. we both agree that we have a really good connection. have been three or four fights in the year as she can sometimes be quite volatile. this volatility in her has really increased in the past few weeks and from emailing me telling me that she wanted to spend more time with me and go on holiday together, the following day she said she couldnt talk about the holiday. her ex was also back in contact and she was upset. when i suggested she get help, i was accused of being manipulative. I asked her if the relationship was making her unhappy, she said yes and i told her that even though I didnt want to that I would walk away. we both agreed it was a shame. so after a hell of a week of no contact, i succumbed tonight and sent her text asking her how she was........she replied that she was "trying to keep it together and asked how I was.......i replied that i had been better but that it was great to hear from her. didnt get a response for two hours and sent another text saying that i just wanted her to know that i was here if she wanted to talk. not sure if i should have sent that second text, but at least i know now that the ball is in her court. I will do my utmost to not contact her again, but I wish we could talk it out like we have before. My mind has eased a bit tonight knowing that I made contact and that at least I got reply saying that she was trying to keep it together. thoughts ??? Link to comment
jupiter32 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 hi all... ok....erm.... heres the story.... know a girl from work for the past eight or nine years... always got one great....but she was married..... a year ago, she split with her husband, six weeks later I asked her out and she agreed. in this past year she has sold her house, initiated divorce proceedings and in the past month or so has moved into her own apartment and is now living alone. our relationship has been mostly great. we both agree that we have a really good connection. have been three or four fights in the year as she can sometimes be quite volatile. this volatility in her has really increased in the past few weeks and from emailing me telling me that she wanted to spend more time with me and go on holiday together, the following day she said she couldnt talk about the holiday. her ex was also back in contact and she was upset. when i suggested she get help, i was accused of being manipulative. I asked her if the relationship was making her unhappy, she said yes and i told her that even though I didnt want to that I would walk away. we both agreed it was a shame. so after a hell of a week of no contact, i succumbed tonight and sent her text asking her how she was........she replied that she was "trying to keep it together and asked how I was.......i replied that i had been better but that it was great to hear from her. didnt get a response for two hours and sent another text saying that i just wanted her to know that i was here if she wanted to talk. not sure if i should have sent that second text, but at least i know now that the ball is in her court. I will do my utmost to not contact her again, but I wish we could talk it out like we have before. My mind has eased a bit tonight knowing that I made contact and that at least I got reply saying that she was trying to keep it together. thoughts ??? Link to comment
Duckie198100 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 It was too soon. I would back off and let her reflect on her marriage and divorce. It might be awhile before she's ready to move on. Link to comment
Duckie198100 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 It was too soon. I would back off and let her reflect on her marriage and divorce. It might be awhile before she's ready to move on. Link to comment
chai714 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Jupiter, Her situation is likely more complex than you could imagine, even though you probably think you know her inside and out. It was probably too soon to ask her out but you're not out of the game yet. I think she still has a lot of emotions to deal with and more time to elapse before she begins to heal. Be a distant friend to her for now and keep her in mind for the future. If you hold her hand now and be there for her every beckoned call, you're going to enter the friends zone, permanently. Good luck. Link to comment
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