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Gratsy

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I had a fight with a friend a while back. A lot of fights. The friendship ended because I wanted a relationship and I left him as a friend. I said some mean things (not as mean as what he said) and he blocked me on AIM. For a while, I considered this guy a stark enemy: he was able to get to know me on a more intimate level (emotionally-- not physically)...he understood me, knew me- and it didn't matter to him. It was the first time a guy got to know me, the real me and act like he cared and all he wanted in the end---all his intents and purposes boiled down to him wanting me, basically ,for my body.

As a side note, this has kind ofmade me a little distrustful towards men/people.

But lately, I've been having memories. I mean, I likedhimfor a reason. Good memories. He would laugh with me all the time. He taught me new things...I felt like I taught him things. Its hindsight and its sentimental. He does not feel the same way so I wonder what is wrong with me?

 

Its so hard to make a connection...and when I finally did, it was a bust.

 

Do you ever, despite all odds...still hope they come around? I mean it obviously won't- its been years...but that feeling is there.

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I had a fight with a friend a while back. A lot of fights. The friendship ended because I wanted a relationship and I left him as a friend. I said some mean things (not as mean as what he said) and he blocked me on AIM. For a while, I considered this guy a stark enemy: he was able to get to know me on a more intimate level (emotionally-- not physically)...he understood me, knew me- and it didn't matter to him. It was the first time a guy got to know me, the real me and act like he cared and all he wanted in the end---all his intents and purposes boiled down to him wanting me, basically ,for my body.

As a side note, this has kind ofmade me a little distrustful towards men/people.

But lately, I've been having memories. I mean, I likedhimfor a reason. Good memories. He would laugh with me all the time. He taught me new things...I felt like I taught him things. Its hindsight and its sentimental. He does not feel the same way so I wonder what is wrong with me?

 

Its so hard to make a connection...and when I finally did, it was a bust.

 

Do you ever, despite all odds...still hope they come around? I mean it obviously won't- its been years...but that feeling is there.

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Life is full of unexpected results and surprises, who knows what tomorrow may bring.

 

It's interesting that you're feeling the effects of what NC is supposed to do for many people. The fact that good memories outweigh the bad is a clear indicator.

 

He may claim that he has no recollection of good memories but he may be putting up a front to avoid showing any vulnerabilities.

 

With a girl I dated years ago, I never expect to ever talk to her again, but two weeks ago we met up, chatted, and had coffee as though we were the best of friends. We mainly talked about the good times and discussed positive things. I have no intentions of getting back with her but do hope to establish a good friendship.

 

You see, it takes time apart, some self reflection and before you know it they come around whether you want them to or not.

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Well,my situation won't ever be like that. He wanted a friendship and he gave indicators that he didn't want a friendship to end. It was painful for me so I ended the friendship. When he called again after I initiated contact supposedly through a forwarded e-mail...I knew I'd rather him be an enemy than a friend. The only hope I was talking about was a real relationship...

 

A friend of mine said it was an indicator that I"m in the last stages and that to end it I needed to push him completely out of my mind. I don't know if its a good idea to manipulate my thoughts that way...but perhaps she's right...I mean there are many thoughts that come that aren't good andmaybe thoughts of him are just that.

 

You say you don't want to get back together with her...well, thats the main point of my situation...the getting together...its not relatable b/c i have no interest in a friendship, but a romantic relationship.

 

Still, reality is that it would never work and I've known that for some time.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
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