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Advice/Suggestions will help on a situation that I have...


RoxyGril
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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It's been 2yrs now since my bf and I have been together and the both of us don't live together yet. The 1st year and 1/2 that we've been dating I was living with my parents. I finally moved out in November of 08 so I have basically been out of the house for about 6 months now. Though I have explained before in previous threads about me becoming more independent and to get the experiance of being able to take care of myself while being on my own 1st so that I am relying on bf to take care of me. We want to live together but want to do things right. A recent thread was just posted that made me think about my living situation and my relationship with my bf.

 

Our relationship isn't bad it is going really well and we're both happy with each other. The both of us see each other pretty much every day and spend a lot of time together. I don't stay over at his house during the week but do stay over on the weekends with him. But, I don't put the pressure on him about us living together cause I don't want to be negging about it to him. IDK I just feel as if we've been together long enough to where we are able to live together but just don't know why it hasn't gotten to that point where it is being taken into consideration. I just don't know where to go from here other then the fact of only waiting to see what happens.

 

I read others that posted on the thread that was just posted and how early they moved in together and how it worked out. It made me think why haven't my bf and I done that yet cause we've been together for 2 yrs now. I don't think living apart at this time isn't a bad thing for the both of us but, how to know if he's ready....

 

I know his lease is up from the house he is renting in the next month or so and I know he is considering to find another place to rent or even to buy a home. He currently has a roomate who has been at my bf's current place for about 2 1/2 months and not even sure if he's going to consider still renting from my bf after he gets a new place. But, if he doesn't stick around to rent out a room from my bf going to have a empty room. IDK maybe I am just over thinking it and jumping into it quickly but I just feel as if I am ready and would be a great person to rent out the room to. That's just not because I am is gf but on the other side of that though. I just feel like I am a responsible person who he wouldn't have to worry about things happening to his home and to be a trusting person.

 

Any thoughts or advice???

 

I just feel a BIT lost and confused on the subject....

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I can talk to him about it but how to bring up the conversation without trying to be pushy on the subject. Though I know that he might want to wait a bit longer only because I have been on my own for at least 6 months so I have really only experianced that amount of time on my own. IDK I just don't know where to go from here. I just feel as if I am ready which I can handle living with him and on the other hand I think maybe a bit longer of living on my own 1st will be a good thing.

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The only way to know how he feels about it is to ask. You shouldn't make a big step like moving in based on what you see other people are doing though. You should make sure it's the best thing for the two of you before deciding anything. You've gotta discuss it. That's a big part of what being in a relationship is about. Another big part is working together and reaching compromises. So discuss it openly and see what the two of you come up with.

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We've discussed it a few times but the conversations weren't very long. We had a conversation about it around the end of Jan. beginning of Feb 09. I know that we both want to and would enjoy each other's company if we were to. But, I know one thing that has mentioned was that before this situation happened he would like for me to be on my own for at least 6 months to a year. I think he wants to respect his parents morals. I know that he is the kind of person who wants to be engaged and then live together. I definitely respect that a lot and don't think that there is anything wrong with that at all. But, in some what of a way it seems as if we are living together.

 

Since I have been out of my parents house we've become a lot closer and spend more time together. I just not sure what to do cause a lot of things have changed (in a good way!!) since I have been living on my own.

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A discussion doesn't necessarily mean that anything will happen..its just communicating and being honest with each other about your thoughts and feelings.

 

I'm all for open dialogue about topics. I've had open dialogue for years about topics with my partner, but they were conversations and open communication about things. The past year the topic of moving in together has increased to make sure things were going the right direction..doesn't mean we're moving in together tomorrow, we're talking about it and keeping options open and the communication going.

 

I don't think you should feel worried about something like this, but then again it depends on your relationship and the communication style you have. For me, saying "So I was thinking about things and..." blurting whatever out just leads to us talking about the topic, but its not pressure being put, itis just communicating about an issue.

 

Have you asked him what he plans to do when the lease is up? To me, thats just general curiosity I would be asking. I'd also be questioning if he still feels strongly about engagement before living together, and the whole 6-12 months thing. To me, thats just communication, not pressure.

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I have asked him about what he's going to do if the lease is up. I know that it seems as if he still is a bit undecided if he wants to stay and renew the least or to find another place. He is wanting to get a house of his own and he has been looking around for one cause of how cheap housing is here right now. So, I know that he hasn't come to a set choice of what exactly what he wants to do. So, I don't know how do I just fit my thoughts of living together in that?

 

I am not worried but just have the thought of knowing how long we've already have been spending together why not take to the next step. That's really what's on my mind.

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