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Is this normal?


amiami19

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so if you have read any of my other posts you will have seen that i have been having some trouble with my boyfriend.

 

we got into a big fight and i really didnt know if we were going to make it out on the other end but we did i think i hope

 

anyway when we got into a fight he went on his website and put his status to single and flirted with some other girls and then went on a business trip but that was not before telling me he loved me and blah blha and it was after that i discovered the flirting and the status of single

 

it was hard to get into touch with him because of this business trip ..

so i spend a lot of time crying and feeling stupid

and rethinking our relationship..

 

when he finally came back we talked and he said he only did it to make me jealous because he was mad and forgot to change it back to in a relationship and so on..

 

he changed it now.

 

but... im really hurt...like i cant just pretend everything is okay now can i?

i mean... hes too old for this im too old for this!!

how do i get past this without causing more strain on our relationship?

 

ps: when we were fighting he acutally swore at me which was ......even worse.... i mean...its like he was talking to dirt

 

but i love him and i know he loves me too

this is just too much

 

someone help me please???

 

PLEASE dont tell me to leave him..because i cant and i wont... at least not for this.

 

all thought are appreciated

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Wow, he sounds like a real winner.

 

Even IF he did it to make you jealous (which I don't buy), that's really childish. If he thought he had a reason to "make you jealous," he should have talked to you about it.

 

But by doing that he also damaged your trust a little bit. Anyone can lie about anything...I would honestly leave my boyfriend if he changed his status to single and flirted with women on the internet, no matter what his excuse was.

 

It's up to you what you do. Communication is key here, and it sounds like your feelings are on the line. But in all honesty, this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

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I can't tell you what to do but hopefully I am able to let you see how unhealthy this relationship you're in is currently.

 

Lets cover some basics. First, questions you should ask yourself.

 

How did we meet?

When did we start dating?

Why did we start dating?

How long have we been friends?

How long did we just casually date?

How soon did we start calling each other boyfriend girlfriend?

Does he consider my feelings even if he's mad?

Do I consider his feelings even if I'm mad?

Does he make me want to become a better person?

Do I make him want to become a better person?

 

Life is not full of perfect moments but it's my opinion that when a person is at their most vulnerable or most upset, they person they love is who they should turn to, not an empty chat in order to provoke a reaction. Don't let his actions control you, take control of yourself and make a decision for you and no one else. You are what matters not him not anyone else but you. Also, make sure you have communicated how these actions made you felt not by judging them. Don't say "Gosh that was so stupid what you did!" Instead focus on how it made you feel. It sounds really elementary but if he really loves you, how you felt should cause a better reaction than just "insulting"(for lack of a better word) his actions, no matter how juvenile they may have been.

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