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i hate being such a jealous girlfriend!


lilsmc

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it has gotten so out of control, i cannot take it anymore. When i am with my boyfriend, i feel so happy and safe because i know there is no way he is going to cheat on me. We have great great times together and i would honestly do anything for him. He has been unfaithful to me once but according to my friends and people who have posted here, we were not exclusive which technically means he did nothing wrong.

 

I care about him so much and have put so much time and effort into making t his relationship work that the thought of him lying and cheating drives me literally crazy. I am the kind of person that if a relationship doesn’t work, it’s over and I tend to move on. But not this time, I am approaching 24 years of age and it is time to start acting maturely which is why I decided to really put time and effort into my current relationship.

 

I know i have always been a jealous person with my past relationships, but never like this. Sometimes, i can't even function right (it is so hard for me to focus on anything -> getting school work done, at work, when im out with friends, i even lose sleep thinking about this.) I feel like any time he is out of my sight, he will do something stupid.

 

He tends to drink a lot when he goes out with his college friends (which is not as often) or he has his co workers over at his house (often) and this is when my jealousy feelings and thoughts kick in the most.

 

As far as looks go, he is a good looking person but above all, he is very successful (great job, no debt and his own house at the age of 26) and I see the way his female co workers look at him, in particular one who I will talk about later on. He is a very charming person and on top of it all, he has a killer personality. He is one of those "people pleaser" type of guy, so everyone loves him.

 

His only flaw is that he seriously tends to over drink in order to have fun with his friends. He over drinks to the point where he absolutely does not remember what happened the night before, or he will only remember pieces of what happened. People have to tell him what he did, or what he said in order to put all the pieces together.

 

He went to Miami Beach for spring break for his friend’s birthday. I had no problem he went as it was a much needed break from work. I actually was happy that he was happy taking some time off to relax and he regularly called me and texted me which put me at ease. But his last night, he went out and got so drunk that he was kicked out of a club, ended up hitch hiking ,got into some strangers car (a guy driver who by the way was gay and trying to bring him back to his apartment.) As he was telling me this, he thought it was the funniest thing! Meanwhile, I was so angry, in so much shock that such a smart, educated person is so stupid to do something like that!?!

 

HOW CAN YOU TRUST A PERSON LIKE THAT?!

 

This has gotten me so upset that I told him already that he needs to stop drinking like this. He said that drinking is the only way he has fun, and he cant control not remembering things. This has been an outgoing argument for quiet sometime and I just don’t know how to bring it to an end.

 

How can I trust him if he can’t trust himself when he drinks this much? It puts stress on me and I really don’t know how to deal with it.

 

I am so jealous of literally all his female friends. He does not have that many as he used to but there is this one co worker who I think might have a thing for him. I have snooped through his phone few times and found text messages. Some were a little flirty, but nothing too serious. They have however been texting more frequently than before. She also comes over his house when he invites co workers over. I don’t know, maybe I am jealous because she is a pretty girl and all his co workers are always making her the center of attention. I mean she is the only young and pretty girl that works with 20 other men. I also know she is dating one of their co workers as she is always dating someone new. But somehow, she tends to talk more to my boyfriend than anyone else and that makes me go crazy. She also hasn’t been too pleasant to me as I have tried few times to start a conversation with her. She is very stuck up and appears to be extremely arrogant. I know I have a much better personality and as far as looks go, I am much better looking than her, but I cant help to feel threatened by her.

 

In any other aspect, I would have to say my boyfriend is probably the best boyfriend I have ever had which is the reason why I am still with him. He is very romantic, sweet and treats me very well judging from my previous relationships. He inspires me to be a better person (as a girlfriend and in school)

We frequently talk about marriage and kids (him more often than I) as I am not ready yet till I finish my degree in one year.

 

He knows I am very jealous (and he says it’s okay to be jealous, as a matter of fact, he likes having a jealous girlfriend because it makes him feel that I really do care for him) and sometimes, I tend to act a little immature but he deals with it and I know deep down inside, his love for me is just as strong or perhaps much stronger than mine. There were few times I wanted to end our relationship because I honestly find it hard to bear with these jealousy issues that it would only make sense to be alone. He always puts up a fight and tells me i am being irrational and to please think it over as our relationship is means a lot to him. I howver, feel I would be more focused and spend less time wondering when the next time will be that he will cheat on me, or “I know I will catch him.” It is such a horrible feeling and I wish I didn’t feel or think like that.

 

Thanks for letting me vent

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Okay since you are starting to think seriously: ask yourself this question," is this the kind of man I would want to raise my children with?" Because he doesn't sound like a prize to me. Being charming is something that is awesome...but not when its combined with other things.

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