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Does this make sense?


dflq123
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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Would an ex girlfriend who left me have any reason to lie about her feelings, or possibly not be completely honest with herself?

 

I had what felt like a sincere heart to heart talk with mine, and in the most convincing and seemingly truthful manner ever she told me she had healed and didnt think about me anymore (because i asked if she did), but still wanted me as a friend in her life. She also said in the most sincere and consoling voice ever: "try not to make me so important anymore, just look at me like any other person" and i said "is that how you healed? is that what you did with me?" and she said in a really sympathetic voice "yes."

 

There are times like this where it seems shes moved sooo * * * * ing beyond me and is fine.

 

But then she'll message me on msn saying she's down and she heard sad breakup lyrics and thought of me, and the other day she saw me in person and told me she was looking for someone who she "had a deep connection with" and said in the saddest voice "that was you." Then she said the same thing on the phone about how she'd never find a guy and how i had been the one she connected with on the level she wanted.

 

Right now im trying NC 2 weeks because its my last hope, but am wondering if despite what she's said recently its clear that she is over me based on what she said before, or whether theres more to the story.

 

would she have any reason to be dishonest, or make it seem like she is more healed than she is?

 

She broke up with me, and i asked her back twice before all this and she said no....

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Her initial statement was her trying to be strong in a difficult situation. It was less about convincing you that she had moved on and more about convincing herself. Since then, she has showed you several times that she, in fact, has not been strong enough to move on yet. She is feeling down and unhappy about what she has done and wants you to know so that she can feel justified in feeling that way.

 

Unfortunately this is a bad thing for you, as it is messing with your head. However, she is not doing this to purposely hurt you.

 

I would suggest pushing hard for NC for as long as possible. Make yourself uncontactable to her and avoid her at all costs. Hard I know, but it is the only thing that will help both of you. And do not ask her to get back together again. If this is going to happen, it will happen sometime down the track, not while she is going through this misery.

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Unfortunately, keeping an ex dangling around as a safety net makes it easier, not harder, for the one who wants the breakup to move on. Calling to say she misses you without wanting to be your GF again is straight up manipulative--its ego food for her, and it's harmful to you.

 

That's why going NC is so smart. Staying NC is even smarter. I'd tell her you're not being mean, but you aren't interested in playing friendzies anymore until you feel up for it. Tell her unless she wants to be your GF again, she shouldn't contact you.

 

Then let your healing begin--for real.

 

In your corner.

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Unfortunately, keeping an ex dangling around as a safety net makes it easier, not harder, for the one who wants the breakup to move on. Calling to say she misses you without wanting to be your GF again is straight up manipulative--its ego food for her, and it's harmful to you.

 

That's why going NC is so smart. Staying NC is even smarter. I'd tell her you're not being mean, but you aren't interested in playing friendzies anymore until you feel up for it. Tell her unless she wants to be your GF again, she shouldn't contact you.

 

Then let your healing begin--for real.

 

In your corner.

 

Yep, totally agree, the facts speak for themselves, she has not TOLD you she regrets her decision, or wants to get back with you.

 

In fact she has REFUSED to consider this twice.

 

I'm so sorry she is putting you through this, but stand back and don't let contact continue to hurt you, even if she comes chasing. She is not doing this with anything in mind other than keeping you hangin on.

 

Sorry. Try to fill your time with people/things that keep you positive and will support you for the nice person you seem to be.

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Yep, totally agree, the facts speak for themselves, she has not TOLD you she regrets her decision, or wants to get back with you.

 

In fact she has REFUSED to consider this twice.

 

Her continuing to contact you with those emotionally charged statements is just plain selfish and cruel...Cut her out of your life now and choose someone with higher values next time.

 

Good luck.

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